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Original poster

Lo! The ultimate cheeky fucker has been found

318 replies

learieonthewildmoor · 28/10/2022 15:04

A friend of mine died suddenly a few weeks ago. He had separated from his wife last year and had made a will.
He had been invited to a wedding next year. The mother of the bride texted his ex-wife asking that money from his estate be used to buy a gift for the couple.

Everyone who knew and loved him is still reeling from his death. But the important thing for this woman is her daughter still gets a gift from him. How in the name of all that is good and holy would you ask that?
My friend, God love him, was a tight bastard and would have been buying the cheapest thing on the registry; which makes it even worse somehow.

OP posts:
fib88 · 29/10/2022 19:16

That’s ridiculous and unless specified in his Will the cheeky couple will get zero … who would ask such a ridiculous greedy thing? Tell them to get stuffed

amispeakingintongues · 29/10/2022 19:24

learieonthewildmoor · 28/10/2022 15:22

And she did it by text! His ex- wife hasn’t replied: what on earth would you say to that?

“Piss off” would do nicely

belles001 · 29/10/2022 19:34

👌

belles001 · 29/10/2022 19:35

👌

Dee876 · 29/10/2022 19:48

I couldn’t be grown up I’d tell her to fxxk off ! Cheeky bitch wtf !!

Dee876 · 29/10/2022 19:51

Sorry think I pressed reply on wrong message !! The one I replied to was “simply ignore it “ & I was meant to say “I couldn’t be that grown up “ I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut . She must have more front than Brighton

Alsoplayspiccolo · 29/10/2022 20:29

Bloody hell!!
I thought I’d heard it all, but that really takes some beating. 😱

I wonder if the woman in question is related to my DM?
When my sister died of cancer a few years ago, my mum phoned her husband to ask him to bring a couple of items, that she’d passed on to my sister when our gran died, to the funeral…because she wanted “ to keep them in the family”.

My sister and BIL had been married for over 30 years and had 3 kids, so god knows what she meant by “ family”, and who on earth asks a grieving spouse to bring things to their wife’s funeral??!!

RGinaPhalange · 29/10/2022 20:36

Wow! Ultimate cheeky fucker!

a1poshpaws · 29/10/2022 20:43

Alsoplayspiccolo · 29/10/2022 20:29

Bloody hell!!
I thought I’d heard it all, but that really takes some beating. 😱

I wonder if the woman in question is related to my DM?
When my sister died of cancer a few years ago, my mum phoned her husband to ask him to bring a couple of items, that she’d passed on to my sister when our gran died, to the funeral…because she wanted “ to keep them in the family”.

My sister and BIL had been married for over 30 years and had 3 kids, so god knows what she meant by “ family”, and who on earth asks a grieving spouse to bring things to their wife’s funeral??!!

Your poor BIL! Did you ever tell your DM that she's really, really crossed a line?

Dibbydoos · 29/10/2022 20:44

Im so sorry for the loss of your friend :(

Bridzillas mums behaviour is disgusting.

Even if he was a cheapskate, there would be no money for a wedding gift.

The gall...

capostrophe · 29/10/2022 20:45

Not trying to be controversial for the sake of it here, but honestly, my first thought was that maybe the thinking behind this (otherwise weird) request is that the couple would have a keepsake from him, an object to remember him by alongside gifted items from other friends, even if it is the cheapest item like he is likely to have bought. Maybe they are thinking that he would have a sort of presence and be remembered as part of this big day. It would certainly be a conversation price. If that was the intention then the mother of the bride probably could have been much clearer.

Mandyjack · 29/10/2022 20:46

He's not even attending the wedding! What an absolutely insensitive thing to do! Do the bride and groom know she's done this?

Mandyjack · 29/10/2022 20:47

capostrophe · 29/10/2022 20:45

Not trying to be controversial for the sake of it here, but honestly, my first thought was that maybe the thinking behind this (otherwise weird) request is that the couple would have a keepsake from him, an object to remember him by alongside gifted items from other friends, even if it is the cheapest item like he is likely to have bought. Maybe they are thinking that he would have a sort of presence and be remembered as part of this big day. It would certainly be a conversation price. If that was the intention then the mother of the bride probably could have been much clearer.

But it wouldn't be him buying it?

mam0918 · 29/10/2022 20:49

Why do people think gifts are a requirement at weddings?

I can count on 1 hand the amount of gifts I got for my wedding and thats far more than I expected.

Most weddings I have been involved in didn't have gifts either.

Its bizaare to me that people make list outright begging for gifts, theres something so classless about it (dispite the fact it seems to be 'richer' people who do it. I'm from a really poor area people love any excuse to get together and celebrate but never expect gifts) and it totally cheapens the whole concept of getting married to make it a commercial exchange where people have to present gifts for entry to the 'show'.

db33 · 29/10/2022 20:53

That's awful. I had a similar experience actually but not sure if it was quite so bad.
My mum died of cancer several years ago in her early 50's and very suddenly.
Her boyfriend and his son came to mine for dinner a couple of weeks later and asked me to sign over her pension to him (I also have 3 siblings who were equally entitled to it) and when I asked what he'd use it for he said he'd probably buy a car.
When I said I'd get legal advice, they then went to her friend, lied that they'd paid for the funeral (they didn't spend a penny) and asked her to give them a chunk of money becasue she'd offered to take my mum on a dream holiday before she died.
The bf then started seeing my mums 'friend' within a couple of weeks, lied about it and both tried to convince us adult kids to hand over our inheritance to him, saying we were being selfish!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 29/10/2022 20:58

capostrophe · 29/10/2022 20:45

Not trying to be controversial for the sake of it here, but honestly, my first thought was that maybe the thinking behind this (otherwise weird) request is that the couple would have a keepsake from him, an object to remember him by alongside gifted items from other friends, even if it is the cheapest item like he is likely to have bought. Maybe they are thinking that he would have a sort of presence and be remembered as part of this big day. It would certainly be a conversation price. If that was the intention then the mother of the bride probably could have been much clearer.

My guess is they’d be spitting blood if they received a “keepsake”. I’d say someone, whether it’s the bride and groom or the bride’s mother, or all of them, has sensed an easy way to get some cash. Estranged wife has tons to organise, on top of mixed feelings of grief given the situation… you can see how someone (a very grasping someone) might think “She’ll probably just transfer some cash or send a cheque to save time”.

ShandaLear · 29/10/2022 21:00

I’d go full on macabre and say something like, “Yes of course. He had this all in hand and just prior to his death commissioned a mirror with a frame made from his ashes. Where would you like me to post it?”

capostrophe · 29/10/2022 21:07

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 29/10/2022 20:58

My guess is they’d be spitting blood if they received a “keepsake”. I’d say someone, whether it’s the bride and groom or the bride’s mother, or all of them, has sensed an easy way to get some cash. Estranged wife has tons to organise, on top of mixed feelings of grief given the situation… you can see how someone (a very grasping someone) might think “She’ll probably just transfer some cash or send a cheque to save time”.

Show quote history

It’s just so weird, pathologically insensitive and outrageously rude, I can’t think why anyone would make this request otherwise. No one is that rude surely? Especially someone that likely knew this poor deceased man

BaconChops · 29/10/2022 21:11

Honestly some people!

Jonstantlycuggling · 29/10/2022 21:33

My mouth literally fell open as I read that...Christ above, who does that????
Am very sorry for your loss 😔

anrulawson · 29/10/2022 23:28

Ignore it. When the next text come chasing. Reply :
So sorry. I thought this was such an extraordinary request - really weird - that it had to be a scam. I. deleted it to be safe.
I regret there is nothing we can do at this point but wish your young couple a very happy day. (Or some other well wising). After all if the ex wife did even inherit anything from her ex-husband she may find the estate is tied up in knots for his children if he had any -whatever! Or he died and his estate was wholly left to a dog’s home!

good luck!

LoisLane66 · 29/10/2022 23:36

As Martin Butler says, 'Unbelievable!'.

LoisLane66 · 29/10/2022 23:41

@db33
😲😲😲🤐 CF+++++

Raginghistorically · 30/10/2022 00:02

The woman's request should be answered sympathetically. It should be explained to her that all his assets will be set out on one side of a table in the sitting room and a prayer sent up to ask him to put to the other side of the table the amount he wishes the bride to have by the following morning. Anything they find there will be hers.

ballerina1971 · 30/10/2022 00:21

WTAF⁉️ The epitome of CFery. So sorry for the loss of your friend. I wouldn't be able to do nothing or be adult about it I would have one of those life-size boards made of the friend and made sure it turned up at the ceremony, in the photo's and at the reception. It's just unbelievable that the DM of the bride could stoop so low.

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