This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

I don’t have spare money, my post was about when you have no spare money with CB coming in, you have plenty of advance warning that CB will stop for your DC and so should have a plan in place to adjust for when that happens. So you still have no spare money but are avoiding debt, eviction, bailiffs, etc.

Dunno. Care to post her wages and the year? Then subtract housing costs as private rent vs social rent drastically affects money you have for everything else. Can do an inflation calculator to see todays value?

(I’ll even not deduct the extra £ my disability costs me…like charging my mobility scooter or my physio therapy costs or my 8 prescriptions a month…)

@Perfectpeace

“disgusting” 🤣

there is no way that I think it’s ok for earning adult sons or daughters to live rent free in my house.

I paid keep and it did me no harm. I had no idea what my parents spent it on but I’m pretty sure it won’t have gone solely on household bills - some of it might have gone on them having a meal out or my mum having her hair done or whatever. And guess what I never begrudged them it!

@Discovereads

strangely enough some people do plan ahead. I paid off my mortgage and a home improvement loan this year. My drop in income is still about £300 more than the reduction in outgoings.
Technically I can ‘afford’ for my son not to contribute but I don’t think he would be too happy living off beans on toast and me cancelling SkySports. If he wants the same standard of living he needs to contribute

@Ted27

you could always get a second job?

then he could continue to live with same standard of living and not contribute.

that’s what some people on here genuinely seem to think I think!

Are your kids close to that age yet or still young? I think it’s easy to say if your kids are only young, you don’t know how you feel as they get older.

It depends on how you do things I suppose, my son has his friends stay whenever he wants, does his own thing, has parties, whatever. It’s his home, he comes and goes as he pleases and his friends like being at our house. We have a nice size house which makes things easier, he has it good and his friends tell him that. It hasn’t stopped him saving and being responsible.

my child makes as much as me spends it all on himself recently booked a holiday does nothing to help me in the house but I have to wash and clean for him and buy his food/travel he's basically living like a lodger plus taking up space we need so you bet your life I'll be charging him rent
@seperatedmumYou don't have to do any of that though. You are choosing to and in the process making yourself unhappy and your child entitled. Just stop! If a 'child' is old enough to work and go on holiday then they are more than old enough to work a washing machine and go to Tescos.

OP I haven’t read the full thread because it’s a waste of time. This topic is not controversial, only your views are. That is: you appear to lack the imagination and/or awareness to understand peoples financial circumstances may be different to yours and so may be their value system and parenting techniques. Shocking 🥱

@FlixingTheNet

im not as laid back as that - they couldn’t bring people back whenever they pleased or have parties, it’s my house not their ultimately. so my kids would probably have more incentive than yours to move out into a houseshare.

Each to their own. I like a nice relaxed home with our friends and our children’s friends welcome whenever. I was never allowed that growing up. I wasn’t really welcome never mind friends. I could never think our home was not our children’s home too. House shares would be a waste of money unless they wanted/needed to move away.

I still think you might change your mind when your kids are older. I’m intrigued as to how old your kids are as you have such strong views on this. I reckon they’re only young?

@LuckySantangelo35

Strangely enough, at the age of 58, the thought of getting a second job to keep my son in Skysports and pizza has not crossed my mind.
He has a job - if he wants it he can pay for it

@FlixingTheNet

i never had it either. Hence I moved into a house share. Had a great time. Obviously I didn’t save as much as I could have done had I lived at home but then you can’t have it all ways. It did me no harm though.

@TheBulletThatMissed and you appear to lack basic comprehension skills. Shocking 🥱

Whereas I couldn’t imagine living at home and not paying anything. Especially knowing what stage my parents were at. I lived at home to 25 too and managed to save a deposit for a property too. If I wasn’t with my now husband it would have been a smaller property.

I know discipline and patience and budgeting from my mother. She also helped immensely once I moved out, I suspect from my giving her ‘rent’.

everyone does stuff a little different so to each their own.

I charge mine keep, they do their own laundry, sort meals, do some cleaning etc. Yet they still remain here. One of them could easily afford to move out.

I could probably afford to run the house on my wage, but frankly, I think I'd resent the freeloading.

But my kids can have it all ways so why shouldn’t they. Live at home rent free. Have fun, friends welcome to stay. And save lots. Only my son is an adult but both he and my daughter are really good kids, very respectful and a lot more capable than most. They cook, clean, my son looks after our house and pets when we’re away. There’s more than one way to do things and living at home, not charging rent doesn’t mean kids are doomed to fail like some seem to think.

No, the one living at home paid a reduced rent compared to what they would have paid if they had rented living away. Their earnings went to paying this rent as part of being an independent adult in a good job. The rent money then belonged to us.

Let's say rent was £100. We took the £100 in exchange for food, household bills and lodging. It was a good deal. At a later date we gave £50 back to the child who paid rent and £50 to the other child (who was paying a higher rent elsewhere in the private sector).

Should we have allowed one child to live entirely rent free whilst their sibling paid market rates for accommodation? That seems an odd take to me.

I do what my parents did - take an amount off them each month for "rent" and invest it in a savings account which I will give them when they get their own place. I appreciate that I am very fortunate to be able to do this. As far as they know, they're paying rent. IMO, it's never too soon to know that everyone needs to pay their way in life.

I would never charge my kids to live in my home. I think it's quite sad that people do.

I never paid a penny when I lived at home briefly in my 20s. I bought my own food, did own laundry, cooked and tidied - because I was an adult - but no rent. I'm still capable of understanding that life isn't free or whatever other BS people come out with as a justification for taking money off their offspring.

It's different if you can't afford to and have to charge them.

If you bought your own food then you were financially contributing in that way. It's not really any different to your parents providing your food and charging you for it.
OP is talking about parents providing everything for their children until they move away from their parental home.

As I say I paid keep and it did me no harm. I had no idea what my parents spent it on but I’m pretty sure it won’t have gone solely on household bills - some of it might have gone on them having a meal out or my mum having her hair done or whatever. And guess what I never begrudged them it!

My son is 20 and earns more than I do.

We have to charge him rent. We don’t have a lot of money. We charge him £250 a month. He gets most of his meals for that (unless he orders a take away or eats out).

I don’t like taking money from him, but the fact is we couldn’t afford to have another adult living here if they didn’t contribute some money.

If my child was working full time and was actually saving the full amount of rent and utilities each month towards a deposit, I wouldn’t care about charging rent. The problem arises when they live at home and save a bit each month, but not as much as they would be spending living independently. It provides a false sense of budgeting. Charging rent is more about making sure they really understand how far their money will go.

No, because you clearly need the money to pay your bills. Or she can cover the bills directly herself. The OP I was responding too said she doesn’t need the money but wants it for a holiday. Not the same thing.

But I can afford to cover it but why should I cover the living costs of someone who is a grown up earning a decent salary?

The child who chose to live away did so of their own accord. It was not then up to the one who stayed home to subsidise them. If you needed to take money off the one who stayed home to pay the bills that’s fair enough but taking it then giving half to their sibling is unbelievable. I’ve never heard anything like it. So yes, no matter how you try to dress it up, it’s reprehensible. One child is not responsible for paying for the choices of another.