This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

I very clearly didn't say it was the only way, I said it was the easiest way.

Some people are taking this to heart... if you don't need to don't charge your kids, if you need to charge them.

What about when they're in their 40s, can't hold down a job and don't contribute to housework, is it OK to charge rent then?

Exactly what I thought 🥶

Well you e answered you're own

*"I genuinely don't understand why some parents charge rent"
*
When you then typed

"I understand it if you have a low income"

That's why.

Because lots of people cannot afford to subsidise grown ups to live at home.

Not just the lower paid and low income families.

But if your child is legally an adult you are also paying rent or mortgage on a bigger property to house them. They could get a room share and you downgrade.

It would cost them more and therefore they can save less.

And grown up children living at home do generally still cost more than they are being charged

Once mine are adults and are in employment, if they still live with me they will be expected to contribute to the home financially and with the running of the home - cleaning and cooking etc.
Even if I was a millionaire, theres no way I’d be having an adult in the home who expects to still be treated like a child.

My DD chose to leave school at 16 and work full time in a minimum wage job. I need to teach her some life lessons so will be asking for rent, she’s 17 now. She doesn’t and wouldn’t save money, and even if I saved it for her, she has no ambitions about home owning or anything and realistically no hopes of becoming a home owner with the path she has chosen. She blows most of her money on smoking or takeaways.
she treats home like a drop in centre so yes, I will charge her rent as she needs to learn how life works. I’m also a single parent, I work but also claim UC and lost quite a significant amount of money when she chose to leave school before she was legally supposed to.

We charged our adult child (in full-time work) an amount that covered their share of all the bills (not the mortgage) and the food. We didn't need the money. I'm pretty sure they'd have spent it as disposable income otherwise.

We didn't save it and return it as a matter of course. We did do a few months off at one point, to help them with driving lessons.

Since moving out, they have certainly had more than they paid gifted to them over the years (as we could afford it), for help towards house deposit, help with car insurance when they were struggling etc.

I think that everyone working full time should contribute to bills and food at least. It helps young people shift to an adult status and teaches them the value of money and how to budget. If they're actively saving for something like a house deposit, then I can see why parents might do it differently.

That's not what your OP said though - you were just talking about "children" there and not with particular regard as to whether they were saving for a deposit or not.

If you'd posted "is it unreasonable to charge young adult children rent when they are trying to save for a deposit and you can afford not to?", you would have got different responses.

I won’t charge rent. But I will absolutely say that an adult who’s earning needs to contribute to the house they’re living in - why on earth shouldn’t they?

In our house you were charged.

They when you move out my parents gave the rent paid back to us but we didn't know in advance that would happen. Older siblings werent allow tell the younger ones in advance etc.

My dad in particular wanted us to get used to paying our way and budgeting before we left home. It worked well.

Couldn't disagree more. If you're an adult and you are being provided with a roof over your head, then you pay your way.

My in laws are well off, a household income of 150k plus living in the north, no mortage left to pay, company car etc. They charged my husband rent when he moved back home for several years after uni. I also moved back home too, my parents aren't wealthy in fact far from but they didn't charge me rent. I saved hard whilst living at home and managed to put away 50k for a house deposit. My husband saved around 15k (he was self employed but not making much profit at the time) he had been charged pretty much market rate rent by his parents, plus money for food. When we moved out to buy I'd basically saved the majority of the deposit due to my parents generosity. My in laws did not know the ins and outs of who contributed what but assumed their son had paid the majority of our deposit and poor me from the poor background was getting a free ride. Infuriating much? They acted like my parents did nothing to help in us setting up home together, in reality we only actually managed to buy a house because they gave me free accommodation during my 20s. My parents have always said, people with money tend to be the most selfish and not very generous, people with very little will gladly help you without the expectation of anything in return.

We are just getting by financially. When my son had a very well paid full time job he paid me £40 per week "keep". He is a tall lad with a big appetite and my grocery bill reflected this, he also used a lot of electricity gaming etc. His girlfriend also stayed over about 3 nights a week and I fed her too and she used all family toiletries etc. I also gave them lifts and bought them the occasional takeaway. He then decided pack in work and go to uni. I set him up with everything he needed, groceries, utensils, bedding etc He lived at home for over 3 months this summer and I didn't didn't ask him for a penny, as he is now a hard up student. I've also been able to give him a small lump sum back from the keep money he previously gave me,although I was under no obligation to do this. I am of the opinion that if your dcs are working they should contribute to their keep, even if you use some and save some to give back to them at a later date. I know my son would have just blown all his wages if I hadn't taken some off him. I think it gave him a sense of pride to contribute to the family finances and I respected him for it.

Meh, the number of young adults I know take this piss with a non rent paying arrangement with their parents. They basically live the life of riley, pay nothing and piss it up the wall. One lass I worked with (she was mid 30s at the time) was out each weekend (Friday to Sunday), fabulous new outfits etc, her mum never took a penny off her (and she never offered). Her 67 year old mum was stacking shelves of a night to cover all the bills.

There is a middle ground to be had, yes if they are properly saving, then be a bit more lenient with their ‘keep’ but not charging anything doesn’t help.

I did this with my Dd, I think as @MrsAlexander it taught her responsibilities. Dd (only child) used to be terrible with money, so apart from charging her rent I also took £20 a week from her to save. She purchased her own house in her mid 20’s (10 years ago).
On a side note whenever I visit her home it is so tidy and she always turns the lights off when leaving a room!

I think it can also help the household dynamics if the young person contributes. If they're treating the place like a hotel, being untidy, not really pulling their weight etc... parents might feel a little less resentful if they're at least contributing financially! I know it would be even better if those behaviours changed instead - but sometimes it is what it is.

I paid board to my parents as did DH and everyone else I knew. I think I paid about 300 pound a month

When we moved out my mum gave me an envelope filled with cash. She'd saved half of my board money for me every week.

I think if I can that's what I'll do with mine when the time comes.

I insisted on paying my Parents rent when I got full time employment, I gave them more than they asked for, I would never dream of not contributing.

Whilst we were waiting to buy our first house we moved out of rented and in with them and paid rent.

My Parents would have given you everything - if they had it but they had very little so if I could pay my way I do not see why I shouldn't, why would it be right to keep all your earnings and not contribute.

I have a Disabled DD so I am not sure if she will be able to work, but if she does I will expect a small contribution I see it as a life skill and if she does get to live on her own it will set her up to know what to expect.

In the real world - not mumsnet, you pay your way.

OP is asking why people who don’t need to charge rent as they’re in a good position financially, do charge rent.

We won’t need to so we won’t. My son is an adult but in full time education. He gets an allowance from us and works part time. He budgets for things like his phone bill, car insurance, clothing, socialising, family Xmas/birthday presents and savings. When he gets a full time job after university, I don’t feel charging him rent will teach him anything more about budgeting, he’s already doing it, just with different costs. He does his fair share around the house like the washing, dishwasher, giving his sister lifts, feeds and walks the dogs. I don’t think charging rent is essential in raising a fully functioning adult like some people seem to.

@Ted27 we just do “family wash loads” with everyone in the home able to put the machine on. The alternative is Dd2 putting her washing on and having a 1/3 full machine.

You're obviously well off @rosesarered95 . Not everyone can afford to keep adult children for free.

@glassfully Not being naive at all. Obviously people's finances decide that. If you can barely afford to get by, then yes, charge your children rent. However, if you're financially well off and very comfortable, then do you really need to charge rent? I just think in this case the money is better off going in a savings account for your dc's future, instead of pocketing extra money you don't need.

@NeedAHoliday2021

Fine that works for your household

You asked a question, I answered it.

Perhaps because paying nothing towards your housing cost leads to lifestyle traps it's hard to get out of.

More disposal income than is ever likely to be realistic can set bad habits and lead to debt.

Of course there are natural savers this wouldn't apply to but imagine they are the exception rather than rule