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Original poster

This is going to be controversial but...

543 replies

rosesarered95 · 27/10/2022 10:12

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

OP posts:
blippi123 · 27/10/2022 10:17

I'm similar to you. My father wouldn't accept rent, he said save it for a deposit. I guess some families need the rent though

We own a house now and without my saving over the years it would not have been possible to have put down a big deposit

Hopefully we can do the same for our DD

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 27/10/2022 10:20

I also wouldn’t charge my daugher rent and would just request she puts an amount into a savings account, I’d feel privileged to be able to help her and see being a parent as a life long responsibility not one that ends at 18.

however on saying that I understand if people really need the money and have no other option then they simply have to.

Dotcheck · 27/10/2022 10:24

Incredibly shit post.

My daughter has moved back temporarily and I do have to charge her rent. I wish I didn’t have to.
I’ve been a single parent for most of their lives, my career has taken a hit, but I’m now on a very average wage. I charge her as little as possible.

I’m sure it doesn’t take much imagination to work out why people charge rent

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alongtimeagoandfaraway · 27/10/2022 10:24

What happens if you have one child who lives at home, rent free, and one whose job is further away so needs to pay rent elsewhere? Not really fair on the second one that first is subsidised and they are not.

We dealt with it by charging rent ( based on average room in shared house for our area plus discount) to whoever was living at home then, when they moved out, dividing the saved rent between both of them.
Worked for our family.

maddy68 · 27/10/2022 10:25

I never charged mine either

BarbaraofSeville · 27/10/2022 10:25

Some young adults wouldn't save the money and would just spend it all and possibly get into debt on top.

Many parents need the money, especially if they've lost benefits when the DC became an adult.

As working adults, they should contribute and many can easily afford to save, have a life and pay towards their living costs, even if they earn NMW. Or even if they're earning well, some may not be able to afford to move out until they're much older, so should parents still be paying the living costs of their 20 or 30 something DC?

Karmagoat · 27/10/2022 10:25

If they are working and still living at home then they should start contributing to bills and rent. I had to.
We are not well off and I don't come from a well off family but either way I would still make them pay something towards the household bills.

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 27/10/2022 10:26

Just to add. If we needed the money we would have kept it. Absolutely right and fair to charge rent. What happens to the rent money depends on the individual family circumstances.

bilbodog · 27/10/2022 10:26

I charged my DC a small amount of rent when they came back after uni - but only when they were earning. But i put it in a savings account and gave it back when they left home.

Original poster
rosesarered95 · 27/10/2022 10:27

Dotcheck · 27/10/2022 10:24

Incredibly shit post.

My daughter has moved back temporarily and I do have to charge her rent. I wish I didn’t have to.
I’ve been a single parent for most of their lives, my career has taken a hit, but I’m now on a very average wage. I charge her as little as possible.

I’m sure it doesn’t take much imagination to work out why people charge rent

I clearly stated in my OP that I understand why some families may have to charge their DC rent, or did you skip that part?

OP posts:
MrsAlexander · 27/10/2022 10:27

So... my parents charged me rent - relevant to what I was earning at the time.

It taught me that in the real world you have bills to pay, the money you're earning isn't just for fun!

Little did I know they saved it all and gave me it back as a lump sum when I moved out ♥️

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 27/10/2022 10:28

I charged my adult DD rent when she lived here as she is an adult and adults pay their way. I didn't raise her to sponge off people, especially not her parents.

custardbear · 27/10/2022 10:29

If you can afford not to then great but many can't.

My mum charged me very little, and when I decided to go to university she didn't charge me rent for a year so I could save, it she also gave me back money I'd paid her too as a saving route which was good

I'll try to do that for my children too - let them save but save what they pay me (albeit they're still young lol )

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 27/10/2022 10:29

Paragraph 1 and 3 are contradictory. You don't understand the concept of charging children rent, but understand that some parents can't afford not to?

JonSnowedUnder · 27/10/2022 10:29

Depends on so many things, including what the DC are like. Would they save money or would they blow their wages and never have to figuring out how to budget. Would they end up staying longer than they needed to because it was easier.

BlueRidge · 27/10/2022 10:30

What does it have to do with you what other people do with their children/finances?
You do you!

Zippedydoo123 · 27/10/2022 10:30

I am a single parent and now ds is working soon child benefit will stop plus his dad's maintenance plus child tax credit.

I will 'only' charge £250 a month for food and bills but it is needed and still a fraction of what I used to receive.

Is it so hard to understand this?? Ds will still have plenty ability to save the rest.

Wheredoallthepensgo · 27/10/2022 10:30

Not at that stage yet but my DC will definitely pay "digs" if they stay at home while earning from a job. Why? Because they need to learn that life costs money and bills/rent need to be paid first before fun!

I've seen one too many over indulged spoilt young adults assume that they deserve to get through life Scott-free and someone else will always pick up the tab. Nope.

Cherryana · 27/10/2022 10:32

Adults should contribute - it’s not free to live in a house.

Slig · 27/10/2022 10:32

Haven't read PPs but of course I charge rent!

Fuck sake he has more disposable income than me. Probably about £1,200 a month he spends on shit.

I'm struggling to make ends meet, buy food and pay the electricity and I'm not suppose to charge my teenager rent???

Jesus!

Honestly can't believe mumsnet sometimes!

Slig · 27/10/2022 10:33

No wonder there are no many cocklodger threads on mumsnet some women have no idea what "normal" is!!

HeddaGarbled · 27/10/2022 10:33

If you don’t think of it as ‘rent’ but think of it as a contribution from all income earners to the household expenses, that should make it easier to understand.

GoodnightGentleBoris · 27/10/2022 10:34

It would be really refreshing if some of these “this is controversial / is it just me who thinks…” posts actually had opinions which were different for a change

Abcdefgh1234 · 27/10/2022 10:34

I dont understand it either. I’m Asian and in our culture parents usually help children to give deposit or even first home to their child. I’m blessed myself my parents help me with deposit for my first home.

if the circumstances different . If the parents doesn’t have any money and hard to take children back home surely the children can helps with the bills or food or etc. not by charge them rent money but just chipping in.

but then again i don’t understand its just my opinion

Reallybadidea · 27/10/2022 10:34

Maybe other people believe that it's valuable to teach adult children the importance of paying their own way, budgeting etc? Different people have different values, it doesn't mean you're right and they're wrong. Maybe just do you and stop watching and judging other people.

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