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Original poster

This is going to be controversial but...

543 replies

rosesarered95 · 27/10/2022 10:12

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

OP posts:
Roseshavethorns · 27/10/2022 11:38

Paying "digs" is a life lesson. It demonstrates that you have to pay your way. We were fortunate enough to be able to save their dig money and use it to help kit out their flats when they moved away.
The amount we asked for was tiny but it taught them the principle that you pay your bills first before you spend anything else.

Quitelikeit · 27/10/2022 11:39

God op I can’t for the life of me think why you’d bother posting such a good question when the posters on here can’t even be bothered to READ the POST PROPERLY

Everyone is jumping in and having a go at you and basically using you as a punch bag because of their own circumstances- well it keep them of Rishis back for ten minutes at least!!

Lcb123 · 27/10/2022 11:40

We're living temporarily with my in-laws whilst we look for a house to buy (sold our first flat already). We insist on paying them money towards energy bills as it costs more for us being there.

Interested in this thread?

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Families General money
Brefugee · 27/10/2022 11:41

Short answer: check your privilege.

stargate2020 · 27/10/2022 11:41

@rosesarered95

To be brutally blunt.....Your post is not controversial, it's ignorant.

You appear to be ignorant of the fact that not all parents can afford to have their adult children living at home for free, especially a single parent who may well lose their single occupant council tax discount along with the child benefit.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 27/10/2022 11:41

My parents asked for rent as they lost out on tax credits but what I paid them didn’t cover what they lost completely but I didn’t have lots of money to save either and what little savings I did have got wiped out as I fell pregnant young and had to move out.

Daisychainsx · 27/10/2022 11:41

We had a rule of: while in full time education, no dig money needed. While working, £200 a month.
Think of the extra money an adult spends on utilities, food etc. I wouldnt have wanted them to pay my way when i was earning more than my mother.
I bought my own house age 26.

Lakeyloo · 27/10/2022 11:41

My parents charged us rent, although i realise now that it was such a small amount it didn't really make much difference! It taught us the value of money and that you have to budget. A certain amount to them, a certain amount saved and a certain amount to spend. They also would never sub us if we had spent our money when we knew we wanted to go out on a Friday/Saturday night. We thought they were the worst parents ever but in hindsight they were the best.... especially when they bought us our first cars as 18th bd presents.
It's something that has stayed with me and I'm forever grateful for. The thought of debt scares the crap out of me. (* I totally appreciate that we are all just an event away from it, and that some people find themselves in that situation through absolutely no fault of their own...especially now days 😞)

RancidOldHag · 27/10/2022 11:42

I don't charge rent, but do insist DC put a notional 'rent' into savings every month.

This means that they are not spending every penny as disposable income, get some idea that rent and bills are real, and have a sum towards deposit for place of their own one day

I can however afford to keep them. If i was in more straitened circumstances, then it would have to be some to me and less to savings

Museya15 · 27/10/2022 11:43

My sister's have tried the living rent free and saving, unfortunately, they love the rent free bit but they haven't saved a penny, they're living their best life.

IsItThough · 27/10/2022 11:44

People can't afford it OP you absolute muppet

BritishDesiGirl · 27/10/2022 11:44

I have my parents board from 16. That was also the point where l was responsible for everything for myself bar food, electric and gas. I had to buy my own clothes, and pay for anything l wanted. This was a Christmas job.

I continued to pay them through my working life.

My brother's never paid. They got expensive clothes, the foo they wanted and treated like kings.

I have a lot of resentment but l wouldn't charge my child.

HailAdrian · 27/10/2022 11:45

If you're not poor, you won't get it obviously.

Headabovetheparakeet · 27/10/2022 11:46

Sagittarius25 · 27/10/2022 11:36

I worked full time from age 21 and lived at home until I got my own home with partner at age 24.

Myself and my partner actually both lived with my parents during this time and we both paid rent. We were both earning a full time wage so why wouldn't we contribute to bills, food shopping etc? my parents agreed we would only pay a small amount (very small amount compared to renting a place) so we could still save for a house deposit and we did.

I didn't have any adverse thoughts to paying this rent, we were adults and not going to live there for free. Although only a small amount, it prepared us for the adult world of having your own home and paying your way.

What year did you buy your first property? I'm guessing not recently.

It is now extremely difficult for young people to get on the house ladder without the financial support of their parents.

Perfectpeace · 27/10/2022 11:46

Dotcheck · 27/10/2022 10:24

Incredibly shit post.

My daughter has moved back temporarily and I do have to charge her rent. I wish I didn’t have to.
I’ve been a single parent for most of their lives, my career has taken a hit, but I’m now on a very average wage. I charge her as little as possible.

I’m sure it doesn’t take much imagination to work out why people charge rent

The OP does say she understands people who need the money charging rent. I think she is saying those who don’t need it shouldn’t take it. To me it feels like profiteering from your child. Obviously not if you are a lone parent or low income family but I personally would not be able to spend my child’s money unless I had no other choice.

FlixingTheNet · 27/10/2022 11:46

As we won’t need the money, we won’t charge our kids anything as long as they’re saving. But people do things differently and some people think it’s a necessary life lesson. To be honest, I think some young people need that. My kids are good with money so I don’t feel I’ll need to teach them by paying rent.

I do know a couple that had 3 adult sons at home and between them they were paying almost £2k a month in rent to their parents. They all moved out within 6 months of each other and the parents didn’t cope well with the financial loss.

MoonKnight · 27/10/2022 11:47

My oldest 2 (17 and 19) both pay rent and bills. I can’t afford to keep 3 adults and 2 younger children on one minimum wage.

my DS earns the exact same amount as me per month - his outgoings are the £300 he gives me and £30 phone contract. That leaves him with £1300 disposable income. If he can’t survive on that then there’s no hope for any of us!

Manekinek0 · 27/10/2022 11:47

It depends on the child and what they are spending the money on. A responsible child who is saving for a deposit is very different to one who is spending every penny on clubbing and other rubbish.

EatenDorky · 27/10/2022 11:47

My mum charged me a nominal amount (eg £100 pcm 15 years ago) and then gave it all (or some, I don’t remember) back to me when I moved out. I would do the same I think.

HermioneKipper · 27/10/2022 11:47

I think our plan will be to charge “rent” when they’re earning but actually put it away for them to help impart lessons in money/budgeting

Randlehandle · 27/10/2022 11:48

I don't understand these kind of threads. It's sort of moralising what you choose to do while looking down on others. Yes you've acknowledged what others have to do. How good of you. If you choose not to charge rent, what difference does it make what others do? It would normally be called attention seeking.

BlueKaftan · 27/10/2022 11:48

I’d never heard of charging rent to a child until I moved to England. Chipping in with bills and groceries, absolutely, but charging rent would have felt like a huge betrayal.

itsnotdeep · 27/10/2022 11:48

I'm lucky and I wouldn't have to charge my children for rent and bills (my food bills on the other hand are massive when they're back and they'd have to buy some food I think - even if it's just occasionally buying a takeaway for the family), I think it does teach them how to budget though if you do charge them, so my plan is to charge but put it in a savings account and pay it back to them when they move out.

Perfectpeace · 27/10/2022 11:48

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 27/10/2022 10:24

What happens if you have one child who lives at home, rent free, and one whose job is further away so needs to pay rent elsewhere? Not really fair on the second one that first is subsidised and they are not.

We dealt with it by charging rent ( based on average room in shared house for our area plus discount) to whoever was living at home then, when they moved out, dividing the saved rent between both of them.
Worked for our family.

Are you saying you made the child who lived at home give their money to the child who chose to live elsewhere? If so, why on earth did you think it was ok for you to dictate that one child subsides another?

MintyFreshOne · 27/10/2022 11:49

It probably depends on the financial status of the parents, sadly. The best case is to be able to take a ‘rent’ and give it as a lump sum later. But these days so many families are hard up, it makes sense to pay a real rent.