This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

I charge my 18yr old son rent. I'm putting it in a savings account for him.

He's choosing the spend the rest of his monthly full time wage on buying a meal deal daily and building a wizz bang computer and games.

He's been advised to save a regular amount from it, but he's choosing not to.

His money. I can't tell him what to do with it.

I agree. I have 4 and have never charged any of them rent as I think it's hard enough for them when they first start working. But then again I am mortgage free. If I was paying extortionate private rent then of course it would be different, but I'm not. My eldest lived at home until recently and bought most of his own food. no way could I charge him for his bedroom !

I think it's sensible regardless.

My Mum was lower income, so she did need the help when I was of working age. (She always took 1/3 of take home salary.)

But she also felt it helped prepare us for what life was like when you moved out and didn't have your full salary to piss away.

If you don't need the money, you could put it to one side for them later in life.

This!

We charged both our adult DD's rent because we felt it was important for them to learn to budget and manage their money.

When they moved out, we helped them financially as much as we could, but we felt charging them rent was also helping them to gain a good life skill.

@Choconut
If you don't charge them rent it's going to be an awfully big shock when they do move out and suddenly don't have a huge disposable income at the end of each month - or they never leave because real life feels 'too expensive'

Mine were never shocked? It’s not a secret how much rent and bills are out on your own.

Oh, and the rent I charge him goes no way to cover the triple whammy of losing his CB, losing the maintenance from his dad and losing the 25% single person discount I had on the council tax.

I can afford to take the hit for now. I will have no qualms about using the money for household expenses in the future.

My Mother told me to leave aged 18 (I hadn't 'done' anything she was just evil)
I then paid rent. when I lost my job & had no 'buffer' I asked if I could move back for a few months to save a buffer again but she said no.
My Brother left aged 25, when he was given the house that Dad had inherited from his Mother. He is about to be given my parents house too.

I'm a (now) single disabled parent with 2 kids. I am on income support as their Carer (they are disabled too). I won't be able to charge them rent in the future. I hope that they will be able to contribute by helping with the running of the house.

It can be a good thing that kids know the realities of life ie rent but if I were to 'charge them' if I could I would be saving it into a savings account.
But, for many, that is not possible. Which might feel horrible in that position. At least if they are paying rent at home they have security, unlike with a Landlord.

I assume most people do this because they need the money! They are asking another adult who shares the house with them to make a reasonable, affordable contribution to the costs. You are assuming the parents are better off than the children - they may not be. You are are also assuming that the child would save the money rather than spending it on luxuries and treats that the parents can't afford themselves. I could imagine in some circumstances charging an earning adult child a small amount, not necessarily out of necessity, but to instil a little realism and fairness. An alternative might be to agree that you won't charge provided they are saving.

Would you make the same argument that you can't understand parents who don't give their children as much money as they can afford? My kids are both at university. We give them enough money to live on OK, but not to live a very luxurious lifestyle or to save to buy a house years down the line. We are comfortably off and could afford to give them more. Is that baffling too? I'm not sure it is much different.

If I was flush I would still probably charge rent if my child was an adult and earning to a) teach them about bills/paying rent on time and b) secretly make them a savings account using their rent money to put towards a house deposit or rent deposit when they properly flew the nest. I got into lots of stupid debt and missed CC payments when I first left home properly in my early 20s because I didn't know how to manage my money properly. Luckily I'd dug myself out of that hole by my mid to late 20s as the financial crash made me very frugal.

As others have said though with the increasing cost of living many may need their adult children to contribute who may not have needed to before, over the coming years fewer people are going to be financially comfortable enough to support an adult child without some assistance.

You make the assumption that by not charging rent the adult child will be saving. What can happen is that they piss the money up the wall spending on nights, clothes etc so that they can never face the prospect of leaving home because "they can't afford it". If you know your child and know they would do this, why would you not instil some kind of financial reality - whether you give the money back to them as a lump sum or not?

And I say this with no skin in the game - just from having known quite a few people in this position despairing of their children.

Some parents can't afford it as you say but some parents aren't generous or even nice.

Some people charge rent and save it for their kids for when they move out. Some people charge a lower rent because otherwise their adult kids have no incentive to move out. Some people charge rent because they can’t afford their outgoings with an extra adult in the house. Every situation requires nuance IMO.

Agree with you. I don't get the concept either.

I understand asking them to contribute to bills because an additional person is going to mean increased use of electricity/water and food but your rent/mortgage has not gone up because somebody else moved back in.

As long as the understanding is that the young person saves for a deposit every month while they are at home and moves out as soon as they have enough then I think it is the best solution.

Also if you are receiving benefits you need to be careful about taking on a lodger. Because that is what you are doing if you start charging someone rent, even if it is a family member. There are all sort of rules about what you can and can't do and how it can affect your benefits. You also might need to update your insurance.

But even if I could afford not to charge him rent, I still would!! What are you teaching your child but letting them live there rent free??? Entitled? Much?

@Slig I think I am modelling good parenting by supporting my child financially to give them the best start in life that I can afford. It’s what I believe family should do for young adults, especially when they are in FT education. It’s giving them an opportunity to save a lot of money towards their future- home buying, having children(if they want any) and retirement. It’s a privilege that I am able to do this for them and none of them have squandered it or acted entitled (so far so good).

I genuinly don't understand that at 25 you cant work this one out. Its just as well banks don't give mortgages based on common sense innit!

This is what my parents did. I'm forever grateful but they could afford to do it.

I think in the current climate if you're working then you need to contribute to household expenses, though.

I absolutely agree with all of this.

My mum didn't change me rent, I cooked, cleaned l, bought my own food, washed my own clothes etc. My brother got charged but he did sweet fa and she still bought his clothes so that seems fair to me. It wasn't a huge amount, circa 100 per month.

I think adults should contribute financially to their living costs, assuming they are able to work.

If parents are wealthy and willing enough to support their offspring indefinitely then that's lovely, but it shouldn't be an expectation

The op and others have clearly stated they fully understand when people need to take money off their kids. I really don’t comprehend why it’s shitty to discuss if you should or not when you financially don’t need to.

100 percent

If they are working full time they should contribute.
Ideally it can be saved for them on the sneaky.

I think I’d charge my kids rent to get them used to hsving to pay bills/rent etc and so they know they have to budget. But I’d secretly put it away in a savings account for them so they could use it towards a deposit when ready

My parents charged me £100 a month to cover (some) food. I'm sure it cost more than that for me to live there. It meant I was able to save up a deposit for my first home. Very grateful to them for that.

My parents charged me and my sister rent when we were working and living at home. My parents didn’t need the money so saved it all up for us for when we moved out. But that definitely prepared us for moving out and to learn to budget