Friend called: panic attack driving with her DC in lightning

[Eastie77Returns]

Not sure WTF to do. We went away on a trip for DS’ birthday together with a friend and her 2 DC. We left the birthday venue earlier this afternoon to drive back to London in our separate cars (roughly 3 hr drive). I drove straight home but friend stopped off for lunch. She has called me screaming hysterically that she is still many miles from home and cannot drive because of the lightning which is terrifying her. She has stopped at a service station and is experiencing a panic attack. Her DH is away for work. I don’t know what to do as I think she wants me to drive and get them but she is about 2 hours away. I’ve told her to wait until the lightning stops but she is crying, her DC are crying and I feel terrible!

I hope she's ok now op. Having been through the same thing, I do know it's not possible to just pull yourself together.

To be honest she was more likely to be struck by lightning whilst on the phone rather than the car!

A good hypnotist can cure most phobias in one or two sessions.

It’s the ’counselling’ type therapists that deal with phobias very inefficiently.

She needs to make a plan for dealing with this. If she couldn't have got to a safe place to pull over there might have been a horrible accident.

Any idea why it was so important for her to stop for lunch?

I think for the time being it would be sensible for her not to be driving any distance until some form of therapy or other medical attention has taken place. The comment earlier about the DVLA is well made.

Glad that a hotel could be found to assist the immediate situation though.

I do understand the comments about her distressing her kids but I can only assume some of you have never been in the grip of a full on panic attack. The impact can last long after the reason for the panic has passed.

In that case, she should not be driving with the children until she has sought proper medical attention to allow her to manage such situations effectively.

That is assuming she knew that she was prone to having panic attacks in high stress situations. This may well have been her first. If she didn't know, then there was little she could do about it.

I’ve known her for years and have never known her to have a panic attack before and I had no idea before last week that she was terrified of lightning. She said she sat in the service station for so long because when the lighting started she struggled to breathe and felt like she was going to pass out. She then didn’t want to resume driving in case the lightning restarted and she actually passed out whilst driving at the speed with the DC in the back.

I get the impression she is annoyed with us all as no-one came to help her. She has mentioned she took her life in her hands driving to the hotel, the cost, the kids were so unsettled etc.

If she passed out whilst driving at speed, she needs to surrender her licence immediately.

She didn't pass out driving - she was afraid to drive in case she passed out!

I get the impression she is annoyed with us all as no-one came to help her. She has mentioned she took her life in her hands driving to the hotel, the cost, the kids were so unsettled etc

The only person she should be annoyed with is herself.
She was expecting someone to drive all the way to her, drive her home, then at some point take her back to pick up her car?
The children were unsettled because of her behaviour.

I kind of understand what made her panic. I'm not a keen driver, especially after dark and am also very uneasy in stormy weather with lots of lightening etc.

I think the best solution was the one you reached, with her in the hotel in Milton Keynes. She obviously wasn't thinking straight or she would have realised that nobody could drive to get her because then she would have to abandon her car. That could be horrendously expensive in a service station car park as you generally only get a couple of hours for free.

It's best that she is now in Milton Keynes. If by tomorrow she still feels fragile about driving further then from there it will be possible for someone to get the train out to her (her DP perhaps?) so that they can drive her and the kids back in her car. It provides options this way.

I get the impression she is annoyed with us all as no-one came to help her. She has mentioned she took her life in her hands driving to the hotel, the cost, the kids were so unsettled etc.

I think my response would be 'have you booked in for therapy?', like a broken record, every time she mentions it.

This. @Eastie77Returns you are not responsible for managing her anxiety

Friend needs to get a grip. You can't be flailing around having "panic attacks" when you're responsible for others' safety.

I feel awful for her. That sounds traumatic for her and DC. Try and reassure her and encourage her to either carry on when it passes or turn back and spend the night at a hotel.

I'm quite sensitive to this sort fear. Have had a few very close calls myself.

@Mumtobabyhavoc this was earlier in the week, she is home now

Oh fuck off and get back to your halo

Passing out with panic/anxiety is a medical condition and she needs to inform the DVLA so they can access whether she’s safe to drive.

I’d be pissed off because you did loads to help her. It’s quite selfish if she expected you to drive in the terrible conditions with your own dc in car there and back and someone to then drive again to collect her car.

If she’s afraid of being struck by lightning then it makes no difference if you are driving and it sounds more like she is trying to mug you off.

Except that hasn’t happened so there’s nothing to report

I failed to notice that; thanks. 😊