Tell me why you've had to end a friendship

[heartbroken22]

Even if it was small one.

Lost respect for her. Smart, clever woman. But spent her time going from man to man. Took what she could from them then got another one. Rinsed them. They were idiots but she was really manipulative. She eventually married this quite nice guy but she told him a lot of lies cut out his family when they questioned her. He paid off her debts and gave her his bank card from pretty much day one. She told him lies about her family and said she didn't want

I didn't act well ending the friendship to be honest. I didn't treat her well I basically kept my distance and cut her out quite badly. I regret that but there was something that changed when she got engaged. Like she'd gone too far. He was very wealthy and he's supported her from day 1. She fed him some story about her health which wasn't true.

She financially profited off my ideas and creativity and then, when her business had taken off (largely due to local businesses switching to online during lockdown), she terminated my contract.

In the intervening months she had gaslit me when I'd tried to talk to her about her passive aggressiveness, and implied it was all in my head.

Absolute twat.

Invited my kids and I to her holiday Airbnb. I thought it would be a great opportunity for the kids to run free and find some fun places to take them. Turns out she actually wanted me there to do the childcare whilst she worked the whole time. Blocked her pretty much after we got back to our country.

@Fuuuuuckit It sounds very much like you're the bad friend in this one, that you were jealous that your friend's situation improved and you were still skint. A few other posts like yours on this thread, and the skint friends all went jealous and resentful.

She was never happy for me, whether it was a promotion at work or a proposal. She could never be happy for me just for once. Everything was always about her and her 'one upping' me or people. She was a frenemy. She made bullshit stories about me behind my back and enabled people to do the same, she ensured people only talked good about her and how she wasn't 'bad' like me. She was a backstabbing compulsive liar. I've been nc for 5 years and ever since I got rid of her, my life has peaked and I'm so glad she wasn't there to witness it with her scheming jealous eyes.

This was my first thought too.

Felt drained whenever I’d meet up with her / for days after.

@daisychain01

Are you writing an article by any chance?

Lol, that's exactly why I'm not contributing.

there seems to be a lot of threads like this, 10 word OP and then retreat. People have been very generous giving their experiences, but I'm too suspicious by half when someone acts like that.
^^^^^^^

I've noticed this in the last 2 - 3 months.
Never occurred it it maybe fir an newspaper article.
I tend to check the number of OP's before getting too invested.

I have a current friend who prys into my relationship, talks to me like she's my therapist... "now are you REALLY happy together...?" etc and invents problems my relationship doesn't have. I know this is because her partner is controlling and disrespectful to her, so she transposes her problems onto me, to make herself feel better. I could and should front this out (awkward), but I've actually withdrawn slowly instead.

I don't agree. It was really insensitive of the friend to moan on and on about the inconvenience of their expensive renovations when PP was struggling on her own. It's about reading the room. The single parent bit was also wildly misjudged. It wasn't necessarily jealousy, just expecting a friend to take our feelings into account and not rub difficult times in our faces.

Some interesting examples here. I feel I may have to let two friendships fizzle out soon, although I don't want to!

They don't know each other, I see each of them on a 1 - 1 basis. During the last few years neither of them EVER contact me, unless I do them. One of them I've known over 30 years since college days and the other around 10 years, and have always considered them close friends.

One of them will reply if I text to suggest a catch-up, she turns up on the day and we have a nice time. But then months go by with no word from her, until I text again.

The other one also replies, seems keen but then 9 times out of 10 cancels on the day, promises to rearrange but doesn't. 🤔

I've deliberately left it longer this time, hoping they'd notice and contact me, but I last saw one in June and the other in July. There's been a resounding silence from both since. I'm both annoyed and upset, friemdship should be two-way. I miss them, (and we all live in the same town!), but if they're not bothered I'll just have to leave it, I can't keep chasing them! 🙁

I am on thencusp of walking away from a controlling friend...wants to know my every move and when l don't tell her...says her mental health is bad and she is overthinking it.
She is way too needy and demanding.

Had a friend for many years. Close to 20 years. She’s had various falling outs with many people.

To set the stage, she is mostly a lot of fun. Can be very generous too. We’ve had done crazy nights out and great times out doing things. unusual trips abroad, visited very strange and unusual places around London, could blag her way in to very elite establishments that would normally have months if not half year waiting lists etc. usually free of charge too.

however, she is only about good times, no real substance. She also has an extremely nasty streak that manifests itself with a lot of falling out with neighbours, any tradesmen, many different interactions with various service personnel and businesses. She’ll take these to the greatest lengths to “get even” or get “compensation”. You never know with whom she is going to fall out or how bizarre her behaviour.

she tries to sue many people, companies, businesses. She has funds to fund frivolous law suits. She’s also had various police interventions where she’s called them or her neighbours have called them on her. She’s had an ASBO for how she’s interacted with more than one set of neighbours (leafy, private estate in Surrey too.)

our falling out came after health problems I developed. As a group, we were going out for my birthday, but I could not drink alcohol. Original plan was to go to a specialty cocktail bar after a very special lunch. I asked to cancel this cocktail bar as I can’t drink (didn’t want to be tempted either) and to just stick to the first event of the day, being the very special lunch that I had prepaid as part of the reservation, and do shopping afterwards instead of drinking. She felt it best to tell me day before that she plans to only go drinking with our other friend, meeting this friend after she and I had lunch. Thus my losing the money I prepaid for her lunch. So not only my being out the funds for the lunch, it left it out from the rest of the day too as well as travelling back from London in my own to go home to an empty house. (Mutual friend had not agreed to this leaving me out by the way). I was annoyed and let her know it was not what a good friend does and that i was very upset and anxious about the medical condition/invasive testing I was about to undertake, could really do with some support of my friends, especially on my birthday. She repeatedly blew up calling me all names under the sun for ruining her planned night of drinking. I eventually had no choice but to block her from all forms of contact, she’d then use others’ phones or create new accounts to contact me to further berate me for being a selfish person when all she wanted to do was go out drinking. She even wrote me a very nasty letter and posted it! Months later!!

so I felt the full wrath of what she’s done to others through the years she has accused of slighting her. It was a horrible experience. I’m well shot of her. Yes, I do miss the crazy fun times but the price to pay would be far too high.

She’s since tried to contact me via other sources to say she misses me and to do things together, but I’m not going anywhere near her. Ever.

Wouldn't you know it, @Robin233 no return by the OP, 12 hours later....

It's rude, like inviting everyone to a party and not bothering to show up!

I met a woman at work-she was a customer

I do hair on the side and agreed to do hers for mates rates-and she became a friend of sorts

it got to the point I dreaded her coming round-she’d sit for hours demanding stuff and talking at me,slagging off people I’d never met and had no interest in

anyway,she rang once and my son answered-she hit the roof that I hadn’t answered and had a go at him for being rude (all he said was ‘hello’ but we have a different accent so ‘hello’ might have sounded like ‘ello’,still not rude)

I tried to cut it then but about 6 weeks later,my amazing mil had come to see us

for context shes the sort of lady who you wouldn’t talk to about sex-we just dont,she doesn’t need to know what dp and I do in the bedroom

Anyway,this woman bangs on the door and mil answered it (which was 100% fine)

this woman barges past her,demanded mil make her a coffee and she sat on my sofa,talking at poor mil as I came down the stairs

as soon as this woman sees me she smirks and says ‘so silver,where can I sit on this sofa?’

me-(a bit confused) ‘er,any of it?’

her-‘oh,I wasn’t sure where you’d had sex with dp on it-you told me you regularly had sex with him here’

my poor mil just looked mortified (god knows what my face looked like) and she just sat rabbiting on about men she’d fucked in her life-while asking mil if she’d done that with my fil (who we’d only lost a few months ago)

I found my backbone-threw her out and vowed never to talk to her again

fucking blow me-she rocked up at my work a few weeks ago and started yelling at my (lovely) manager about why I hadn’t been promoted (because I don’t want to be) and getting right in his face,making jabbing movements with her finger (I was on my break and didn’t know any of this)

she’s now banned and I’ll never speak to her again-she’s shown me up once too often

New to Mumsnet. Didnt realise people like OP exist. Only digging for ideas. I regret contributing. Will check post history in the future.

You get to know after a while from an OP's posting style @UnicornRidge

A good rule of thumb is if the title of the thread has more words than the OP, it's some scammy dodger who's too lazy to be bothered to engage properly and have a proper conversation, or it's someone who wants to sit back and watch everyone do all the hard work, then steal their ideas for a cheap novel they're writing.

We've all known a few of those slopey shoulder types at work no doubt

poor form, Rodders, poor form.

And welcome to MN @UnicornRidge we're not all like ^^ that 😊

Naah im not a troll don't worry. Just looking through my old threads and got to this one and it's hilarious people think I am troll.

I had to end a friendship because she was sucking the life out of me and literally had no consideration I had a newborn baby. If I said to her I was going aldi after she asked what I was doing she'd tag along with me and then next day would ask me to tag along with her as she had done me a favour (when I didn't want her tagging along and happily told her I'd go alone). She'd not make time for me and would contact me according to her schedule. Found out she'd been gossiping about personal things to her husband who was best friends with our neighbour. Neighbour knew personal stuff about us and it was only until one day I clicked on where he was getting his gossip from!

I'm not writing an article btw. I normally start a thread and listen to other peoples experiences then share my own but I must have forgotten! It's better that way as people normally don't share and just advise on what you've been through.

Neither bridesmaids bothered even a text asking me how I was during pregnancy or after the birth. They lived 30 mins drive away. Bumped into one after I had my 1st baby and she was shopping 10 mins from my house...didn't bother thinking about popping in to see me or my baby. At that point I became quite brutal and cut them both out my life along with everyone se who clearly didn't give a shit about me

@superplumb good on you! Yesterday, my husbands friends wife who I was quite close to messaged me. She does this every occasion but we had a falling out before as she lied for her husband doing something for my husband behind my back. She started swearing at me and abusing me at a time that was bad for me and when I was lonely. So yesterday I told her to delete my number and never contact me again. Didn't have the balls to do it before but she kept messaging me every year. Felt good to get rid of the trash after the bitch said I hope we can let bygones be bygones. Bygones my arse when you were lying to my face!!!

Mean drunk and would never apologise or change behaviour

Not ending but letting a longstanding one fade as I see to be the one initiating contact . Pissed off that I sat with her and helped filled in forms for her pip but she couldn't be bothered to tell me she had been awarded it after knowing I was worried I had messed it up . Didn't tell me a old neighbour had passed away . I'm always the one asking to meet up she never does so I'm letting it just fade away . No drama .

20 years of him being controlling and toxic. And gaslighting.

I don't miss him in the slightest.