Tell me why you've had to end a friendship

[heartbroken22]

Even if it was small one.

1. Long term friend, 10+yr. Met when we were 18. She married a horrible guy. Sexist, racist, violent and treats all women like shxt. He screamed at her and she cried. Not one off. Happened many times. She still married him. He is a gold digger. Tried hard to please her parents. Presented himself as a church goer to please her parents. He would tag along to every gathering. He thought he was so great and clever that he was telling me what I should do with my money. Things will not end well. She has a toxic younger sister. That's another story.

I am sad to lose a friend but I can't stand this guy.

1. Her guy is obsessed with Crypto. Label us as non beliver. He is not the bread winner, gets her salary paid into his account, takes all her savings, does not look after the kid and does not help out around the house. Friend has to call other friends to give her a lift to do food shopping when she is ill. Friend is a trust fund accountant on six figures but she has no savings under her name.

1. Again, friend married a religious guy who walks on moral high ground. Much older guy. Was illegal in the country, from Nigeria. He thinks he is above her believes he is a practising Muslim. Made my blood boiled when she told me he got a council flat in Bermondsey through the marriage to her. Met her at work. It was a one sided friendship. I do feel sorry for her but her problems are all self inflected.

Many of my educated American colleaguss are Trump supporter who are gun loving, anti abortion, anti vaxx and climate change non believer. I can't even bring myself to be friends with them. Staying professional at work.

One more. Friends who always say "play by ear". Why is your time more precious than mine?

There was never ending drama. Very one sided, conversations were always about her latest health issue (no doctor could diagnose her, I think it was psychosomatic), and whatever other chaos she had attracted into her life. Lots of conspiracy theories and against modern medicine. I had enough and distanced myself. She's still offloading on a good friend of mine who feels guilty about backing off, but this friend has never been there for any of us so I don't feel guilty at all.

Borrowed money from me, then called me money obsessed when I asked for it back. Instead of transferring it over, got it out in cash and doled it out into my hand, note by note, in front of other friends who were laughing.
Humiliation in return for me helping them out! And all because apparently I had a job and they didn’t, they had a health condition and I didn’t, so it wasn’t fair on them.

Fucking “Forever Living”

Why op?

When I feel used - mums I met in preschool groups.

I lost my dear friend of 10 years who has been unemployed for 5 years plus and single for even longer. Instead of doing things to help the situation he blamed women and people. I lost it once and never spoken again, I miss him some days, especially days when I usually call him for a chat.

Friend of eight years.
Started making sly little digs at me. So for example , we would be on a night out with other friends . She would then start a conversation about how she hates any kind of makeup and how women who wear makeup look trashy and unattractive. I wear makeup.
If we went out to dinner she would make negative comments about what I ate.
The list is endless
One day I just texted her and told her that I did not want to have anything to do with her anymore . She text me back and asked what she had done to warrant the break up of our ‘friendship’
I didn’t reply

Friendships I have previously ended because:

1. Kept taking and taking liberties she was too entitled
2. Annoyed me with her views we just couldn't get on
3. Started dumping her emotional load and dramas too frequently and too soon I was drained by her friendship. She would only half listen when it was my turn to share something difficult
4. Tension and awkwardness around money. I had more money than her and it limited what we could do - fine. But then there were comments and looks of resentment in what we could afford and do as a family so every conversation felt like I'm bragging: where we went, picking up clothes order, redecorating and so on.
5. She gave me too many compliments about my looks and how beautiful. She would gush and look at me in awe and it was embarrassing because others would hear I am it made me uncomfortable and self conscious I just avoided her. I didn't need my confidence boosted but I think she must have thought I needed to be told. I know I'm attractive already though not insanely beautiful.
6. She didn't invite me for the fun things she did with her other mates but I was the first to be contacted when she needed 'counselling'. I felt used as an unpaid therapist!
7. She was too interfering with my life choices and decisions from parenting to relationships she was too opinionated and outspoken but if I give my opinion in her relationship she would get upset
8. She was unbothered about initiating activities or meetings
9. She was flaky and not even one bit sorry about it. She'd not show up and then laugh it off when I mention it.

I lost friendships from job changes and some once I had children, they lost interest or once the mum friends returned to work the friendship evaporated.

I realised she only liked me when my life was shit. If anything good happened to me she gave me silent treatment.
She decided I was lying about who my baby's father is and refused to let it drop- even after me almost begging her, she'd just start straight up again.
Then Covid happened, and she said it was all a hoax. I couldn't put up with her any more, and told her, and it's been years and I've not missed her once. Which is a shame I suppose but life's too short to waste it with unkind nutters.

Drifted apart, had less in common as time went on.

She slept with my then partner

I don't rush into breaking off friendships as to 'err is human ' and all that. But I do believe that most friendships are for a 'reason or a season' rather than a lifetime , so I don't see any reason to be someone's metaphoric punching bag.

The reasons I've dumped friends have mostly been because of repeatedly snidey remarks, people who bitch alot (can't trust them) and people who don't bother with me.

I've always found friendships difficult which I think in part is due to the high standards I expect of people. I want to be treated the way I treat others. It always surprises me how shit people can be to one another.

I stopped talking to my childhood best friend of 15 years because of her lies and drama. She told her partner and his parents that I was bad mouthing his sibling. She did this because I was in hospital in another city and even though I was allowed home at the weekends when there was no treatment being done , I didn't want to travel 3 hours to go on a night out for her birthday.

This lie resulted in her partner trying to attack me and his parents coming to my parents door and attacking them. I told her to fuck off and that was over a decade ago. She has made attempts to reconnect over the years but I've always declined. Even though I still miss her , I'd never ever be able to trust her again.

She got married and didn't tell me. Claimed I was her "best friend" but had no reason for not telling me she had got married 3 months prior. Despite sharing pictures of potential dresses and asking me to check out venues with her, she got married with only her mother in law and brother present. All she said as to why they wanted to keep it a secret was that "DH and I decided to keep it between us", but still couldn't tell me why she didn't tell me (or our other friends) that it happened. I would not have minded if I didn't get an invite but to not tell me was hurtful. She is no longer in my life

Really close friend. I'd been through a tricky divorce and was/a very much a solo parent, almost zero input from dc dad, was absolutely skint.

Her dh got a brilliant £££ new job that meant they could afford £££ home improvents - extension, remodelling, you name it. Moaned incessantly for months about the inconvenience and mess. Then for his £££ job her dh was asked to work overseas for a week every month (for about 6m) - they did dc's bedtime via Skype etc, he would call several times a day, he was still very much available (if not physically present) even fur the mundane stuff like writing a grocery shopping list for when he came home at the weekend.

'I feel so alone and like a single mum when he's gone' for 5 nights a month. Poof, that was that friendship gone

I am currently distancing myself from a friend I have had for 38 years. In all that time she has had a victim narrative that she uses to drag people into her drama and to get them to do things for her. If anything goes right for someone else she tries and ruins it in some way (trying to sleep with my first boyfriend for example and also my current DH and our other mutual friend's husband.... she can't stand someone would find anyone but her attractive). Uses people. Tests people to prove their loiyalty to her by making up massive dramatic shit and expecting them to drop everything for her. Currently she has another mutual friend driving an hour each way to her house to drop off an evening meal (despite mutual friend having a full time job and two Dcs under the age of 5) because she is feeling ill after her flu jab and can't cook for herself.

Once I stepped outside of the immediate situation and was able to just observe the predictable patterns I realised that my former friend was actually really quite a piece of work.

This one seems a bit harsh, maybe she was very tired and didn't want to quickly respond without digesting the information when it's such a serious situation?

Unless you mean didn't reply after days or weeks or something.

I had a really good friend around ten years ago, we worked together and got on so well. People said we were like sisters, she had a big role in my wedding day etc.
She got a new job and her DP's hours changed so they were short on childcare one afternoon a week. So every week I travelled across town (didn't drive at the time) to collect her kids from school, took one to scouts, cooked the dinner, helped with homework etc.
When she came home from work she would barely speak to me, look at her phone loads and that sort of thing. Then one week I was told that they were having a long term house guest who would take care of the kids from next week, so I was no longer required.
We just didn't speak after that. It was a conscious decision on my part because I felt mid-treated, but the friend didn't contact me either so she had obviously decided the friendship was over for reasons I can't understand.

I think mine might be a bit controversial but:

• her conversations are her jus talking about her life, she doesn't really ask any questions about me
• she's very negative all the time - went to a theme park and complained her legs hurt, complained about kids being loud or bumping into her - just quite joyless
• she has a very awful lifestyle - she's morbidly obese, smokes heavily, and easily drinks 3-4 bottles of wine in a night

Final straw was a trip we took. Beautiful European city, walkable, so much to do. Entire time she just wanted to take smoke breaks, sit down, she complained she can't walk if we'd do 10k steps. Theme park - she said if the queues will be so long again for other rides she's going home because her feet hurt from standing.

I had to go on some rides alone because she didn't want to queue. I felt miserable just being around her especially since she kept complaining about being out of breath or this or that which is all a consequence of her lifestyle which she refuses to change.

The trip was her idea and she wanted to go to the theme park which is the part that annoys me most! I felt like I just wasted time and money going, felt like being on holiday with a whiny toddler. Not sure why even bother travel if you just want to sit, smoke and drink.

I'm the same I have high standards and in the past have found casual friendships difficult as I tend to be quite all or nothing although I'm beginning to see the benefits of getting less involved with other people following a heart wrenching friend break up recently with a close friend of 20 years.

She just started acting really shitty to me, snidey comments and something felt 'off'. Told her I'd got a new job and she just s

Just so much imaginary drama.

Then had a relationship with my ex (complicated break up which she was aware of).

She was very needy - multiple texts during the day while I was at work and couldn’t reply then getting the arse because I wasn’t replying.

It was just all too much.

Sent a thumbs up emoji in response. Then I was going through a really stressful time taking legal action against my employer for discrimination and she didn't want to know or even acknowledge what I was going through. Just acted like it waw a fuss over nothing and said I was getting people in trouble to get money out of the company. Other examples of talking to me like shit, but the total invalidation of my feelings was a deal breaker and we've not spoken in 6 months.

Broke my heart when I realised but I couldn't have someone that contemptuous in my lif

Strange thing was she had been a different person the first 19 years of our friendship then just turned toxic out of the blue, I'll never understand it.