Tell me why you've had to end a friendship

[heartbroken22]

Even if it was small one.

Lol, that's exactly why I'm not contributing.

there seems to be a lot of threads like this, 10 word OP and then retreat. People have been very generous giving their experiences, but I'm too suspicious by half when someone acts like that.

Dropped two at once when I realised I didn't matter to them. I would call and they would be disinterested. They came to my home town and I met for a drink. After half an hour, I hadn't finished mine, they upped and left to meet someone else. I thought I would stop contacting them to see how bothered they were about the friendship. That was 27 years ago, still waiting.

I realise now that they were slow-dumping me. It hurt though as they were uni friends so I have no friends from that time of my life.

A person who was tenatively a friend of mine asked to have one of my inflatable birthing balls, assuming I was done with them and would just give it away. I refused, and later found all of them slightly flat in the corner of the room with pinhole pricks in them from something like a thumbtack, I'm certain she burst them while I wasn't looking. Never spoke to her again after that

Always late, not like 5-10 mins but consistently over an hour late or a no show.

Friendship became totally one-sided and it was blatant. Had always subsidised her financially to some extent as she was single on a very moderate income which was a mistake as she came to expect it even after she remarried. Her husband was a bit of a cocklodger so she ended up subsidising him.

The friendship descended into complete one-sidedness in that if I didn't invite, host her/them for the weekend or paid out for train tickets to travel to her, we didn't see each other. She resisted all attempts to even it up. I suspect she felt I needed her more than she did me as she became quite rude and entitled about it: persistently late, trivial ridiculous excuses and dictating where and when.

I wish I had ended it sooner, still feel resentful about her rudeness, but think I stuck it out out of loyalty. Interestingly I don't miss her, she was actually quite boring company with nothing of interest going on in her life.

Cancelled on me a few times to do stuff with one of the alpha mums as she was so desperate to be in that group. I stopped arranging things then and focused on people who appreciated me.

I posted about the friendship before, asking if AIBU to take a step back after she continued to socialise with exh after I'd blurted out that he'd raped me. Then she went to his wedding, there were photos of her dancing, celebrating. That was the final nail in the coffin.

We went on holiday, just the two of us. She disappeared off on the first night and I hardly saw her again. I was 18 and alone in Greece. There was evidence of her returning to the apartment, changing clothes then disappearing again. She was having a great time with some waiter or holiday rep. I was terrified something awful had happened to her. She thought it was funny that I was so concerned and told me I was boring.
I got off the plane when we got home and I had very little to do with her after that.

She was very clingy, would call me lazy when I didn't reply instantly to her message and was quite quite mean when things didn't go her way. I couldn't forgive her for some of the things she said. She always wondered why she had no friends!

Another, her child kept being really awful to my child. Even really physically hurting her. The mum, my friend just kept saying they were boisterous. My child was scared. School was having issues with the child too but mum always said it was everyone else's fault. I stepped back because I needed to keep my daughter safe.

Had a minor disagreement with my best friend.
About a week later, my mum went into hospital with covid and died on Christmas Day. I was broken. She didn’t message me until the February, asking me if I was ok. I replied no, and she replied “Do you want to talk to me about it?” and I’ve never replied. I shouldn’t have to tell my best friend in February about the PTSD I got from knowing my mum died alone and spent her final day crying for us but we couldn’t be with her. It totally changed my view of her as a person, I’d supported her through miscarriages and family loss and when I faced my biggest and most traumatic loss she wasn’t there.

Told me nothing meaningful about her life, became a fertility Instagram guru after a weekend long training course, refused to vaccinate her kids but got fake certificates to show the school.

I've ended a few. I prefer a friendship where we don't see each other all the time but when meet up it's the same as it's always been. Just easy friendships. I like to keep friends at arm's length which doesn't work for some people.

So needy people can't be my friend. Manipulators also can't be my friend.

For constantly reneging on plans to go out, or come round, telling me it was because she couldn't possibly ask her husband to watch his own child... but happily posting photos on Facebook of her out on the town with her other friends the next week. Also, ghosting me when my mum died and I needed a friend.

I ended a friendship with an entire friendship group. We were college friends and generally getting together involved lots of drinks and, in time, lots of drama and crying in the loo. There was one particular occasion that I really hated, on my birthday, when one friend had implied to another X had slagged them off and it turned into another huge white wine drama, and I just felt so tired of it all. A few months later I was pregnant and then had a baby and I just couldn’t face sitting through any more manufactured drunken arguments so I quietly retreated, some mild PND at play as well. I feel bad about how I did it though and also for the fact that the person I liked best in the group really tried hard to keep our friendship going, and I didn’t respond. I often think about getting in touch with her but she might just tell me to fuck off. This was all nearly twenty years ago.

They turned out to be racist, it took a while to twig that they were probably doing the “but I have a brown friend” when other people were pointing out their racism

Because I realised that her habit of saying really nasty (and demonstrably untrue) things about our mutual friends to me meant she was certainly talking the same sort of nonsense about me to others...

Sounds like someone's phishing for information

Relationship became very one-sided and she'd often talk over me. It was difficult to leave the coffee meetups because she'd talk so much and I was finding meeting up stressful. I was trying to be supportive of her because her husband had died a few years before but her mental health began to spiral out of control and she was ignoring her GP's help. Then she started to move towards irrationality and conspiracy theories. I disagreed politely with her on something and that was the end of it. She was basically a decent person but clearly very unwell and I could only help so much.

I've ended friendships after realising i'm the one always reaching out/making effort and it's never reciprocated. One way street.

Realising a friend was only in my life as I always paid for days/meals out/weekends away, when I've expected them to pay for themselves they just don't bother. Felt like I was buying a friendship.

When I've been an ear for a friend for years, listened to all their troubles/problems, been supportive then when I have needed them in the same way they haven't been there or they have played down my worries to dismiss them.

Lots of people stick in friendships because they'e known people years, not actually because the friendship is any good for them.

Ah that may have been triggering for your friend though. Don't agree with this one.

Even though she helped me through some hard times, she used to criticise me constantly, sometimes even making fun of me. I just got tired of her airs of superiority.

I don't like being used for company when it's convenient and dropped for better offers.

Cancelling on me. Couldn’t stand it.

Quite simply … criminal activities. As soon as I realised I cut all contact, they’d seemed like nice people but in my book criminality is not nice so that was it.