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Nearly 53, definitely menopausal...or pregnant???

332 replies

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 10:20

I know it doesn't sound possible but I'm being sick, can't stand the smell of my husband, have terrible headaches and am craving rice. I never eat rice! Also I can't bear tea and I normally drink gallons of it!
It must be a virus, right? No-one my age could possibly be preggers?

OP posts:
Maireas · 21/10/2022 19:26

MsCactus · 21/10/2022 19:18

Such an interesting thread! One thing on fertility... Your chances of conceiving are way higher with a younger man OP, studies have found once a man is 40 or over you're three times more likely to miscarry a pregnancy, so it's quite significant.

Don't know how old your partner is, but if they're much younger this could make a pregnancy in your 50s more likely

It's interesting that it's the woman's age factored in, often the man's age isn't noted.

generalh · 21/10/2022 19:46

JaninaDuszejko · 21/10/2022 13:13

I'm a year younger and got very excited in August when I missed a period for the first time not due to pregnancy! My Mum had her last period at 55.

I'm 56 and still having them 🤦🏻‍♀️

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 19:52

My husband is um, 15 years younger than me
So he would have done all the running around. I do have a grown up son aswell.
Oh well, so interesting to hear everyone's thoughts, experiences and opinions

OP posts:

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mam0918 · 21/10/2022 19:54

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

My mam was a teen when she had me and struck bed bound with a debilitating degenerative illness in her early 20s, I have been her carer all my life and have ZERO resentment and Im glad I exist.

My aunt had my cousin in her teens and then died when he was in his teens and she was in her 30s, his dad died then died from organ failure just 3 years later.

As said my friends mam died of cancer when she was only 12 she was in her 30s.

My dads mam had a random heart attack when he was in his 20s, she was in her late 40s.

I dont understand why your are still so convinced your experiance of losing your parents as an adult is 'unique' dispite others telling you it isn't... its MASSIVELY bloody common to lose your parents by middle aged or have disabled parents and nothing to do with age and not 'selfish'.

Inyournewdress · 21/10/2022 19:56

I hope you are ok OP xx
I haven’t RTFT but I can imagine as I have seen it all here before and I would just say to the negative Nancy’s…what is your point? If your point is that being an older parent or the child of older parents isn’t ideal, then we’ll…duh…we can all see that but unless you’re suggesting that such a child would rather not have been born or is suicidal due to it, then why not make the best of things and emphasise the positive like we should do in all areas of life? And if you are in fact suggesting that the child would rather not have been born or live, then respectfully you have bigger issues than parental age. People are born into and live with all kinds of trauma and still cherish their chance at life and make the best of things.

I am the child of older parents, never knew my grandfathers, and by mid teens I had lost both other grandparents and a parent. I myself due to severe medical issues when younger am now an older parent, and I do worry about it and about the problems that will come with it. I went into it eyes open, with worries and sadness that I couldn’t do it earlier, but with determination. Because do I wish I had never been born? Of course I don’t, don’t be so bloody ridiculous. And given that I, and all my other relatives from these long generations, live with love, resilience and humour. Not everyone has the chance to do everything at the ideal time, that doesn’t mean you don’t make the best of things and find joy in them.

As a genealogy fan I have noticed women tended to marry and just give birth regularly until their mid forties, it was just the natural norm. And most, actually all of us, including many with young grandparents and who are young parents to their own perfectly timed children, wouldn’t actually exist at all if women somewhere along their direct line hadn’t given birth over forty. Life, including your children born when you were 27….come of that reality.

mam0918 · 21/10/2022 19:58

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 14:45

Hello all,
Thank you for the lovely messages and the ones who were mean you don't need to worry, it's a negative

Sorry I know how crushing it is seeing a negative after getting your hopes up, I hope you are ok.

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 20:11

@mam0918 .......errrrr. I have not said my experience of losing a parent at 16 is unique, never mind repeatedly.

Parents die at all ages and that is never a good experience regardless of age. However, older parents are more likely to die whist their children are still young. Sorry you and those around you have experienced loss.

SurpriseSurprise · 21/10/2022 21:53

Gutted for you that it wasn’t the result you wanted. Look after yourself OP

Blocked · 21/10/2022 21:57
Flowers
Kittylickingplate · 21/10/2022 22:24

I hope you are not too sad x

J0yxPeace · 21/10/2022 22:24

I am 52 and I often get really bad ''morning sickness''!!

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 22:41

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WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 22:51

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LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 21/10/2022 22:54

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Well, how is that helpful to this thread and why are you so worked up about it?

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 22:56

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Calm down, she’s not even pregnant. You probably need an internet break if other peoples opinions on a discussion forum, about a situation that isn’t even happening, is making you so enraged.

multicolouredblouse · 21/10/2022 22:56

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps some of us didn't have the chance to have a baby at 26. I had my DS when I was 40. I have to be positive about it don't I? I do my best to stay fit and well. What do you want me to do, sit around worrying that I'm about to die? Have a heart.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 22:59

I 'get' that not everyone has a baby at 25/can have a baby at 25, but the silly analogy irks me. 'Oooooh but you could have a baby at 25 and die at 30.' When statistically you are far more likely to leave a child as a carer in the teens or 20s, OR without parents if you have a baby in your late 40s or your 50s.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 23:01

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 22:56

Calm down, she’s not even pregnant. You probably need an internet break if other peoples opinions on a discussion forum, about a situation that isn’t even happening, is making you so enraged.

I am entitled to my opinion.

HTH.

And you don't get to tell me to 'take a break from the internet.'

HTH.

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 23:04

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 23:01

I am entitled to my opinion.

HTH.

And you don't get to tell me to 'take a break from the internet.'

HTH.

I ‘get’ to say whatever I want, just as you do. But I didn’t tell you to take a break, I said you probably need it. Which I stand by because you are so highly strung for no good reason. Do as you please though I couldn’t care less 🤷‍♀️ I’m not mad

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 23:04

Still not sure what HTH means tho…

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 23:05

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 23:04

I ‘get’ to say whatever I want, just as you do. But I didn’t tell you to take a break, I said you probably need it. Which I stand by because you are so highly strung for no good reason. Do as you please though I couldn’t care less 🤷‍♀️ I’m not mad

You clearly DO care or you would not have responded to me. If you want to pretend you don't care, then quit bugging me and trying to push me off the forum.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 23:06

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 23:04

Still not sure what HTH means tho…

HTH = Hope that helps.

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 23:08

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 21/10/2022 23:06

HTH = Hope that helps.

oh that does help! Thanks

Teenagehorrorbag · 21/10/2022 23:32

Ah - sorry OP, you had that tiny bit of excitement and it's been replaced by thinking 'oh shit, the menopause....!'

I'm sure you would have loved a new LO and it would have been a welcome addition to the family. Ignore nasty comments. But to maybe balance things....Smile - I had my DTs at 44 and they are now 14. They are constantly telling me their friends' grandparents are younger than me, etc etc. We just laugh, and I tell them we have a nice paid-for house because we're so ancient - but I suppose there are pros and cons......Grin!

Goosygandy · 21/10/2022 23:58

Not sure if it's already been said but have you done a Covid test? It can play havoc with your stomach and your sense of taste, so maybe your sense of smell too?

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