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Original poster

Nearly 53, definitely menopausal...or pregnant???

332 replies

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 10:20

I know it doesn't sound possible but I'm being sick, can't stand the smell of my husband, have terrible headaches and am craving rice. I never eat rice! Also I can't bear tea and I normally drink gallons of it!
It must be a virus, right? No-one my age could possibly be preggers?

OP posts:
Signeduptosimplyreplytothis · 21/10/2022 14:45

Ok that is the cross post to end all cross posts right there! Sorry OP! At least you know now though

Soakitup37 · 21/10/2022 14:46

I wonder if the same point would be raised if op was 52 and male and was having a baby with a partner?

you cant guarantee your Heath at any age. My auntie had a baby at 51 and now all grown up and she’s still working and mobile and for all intent perfectly healthy.

girlmom21 · 21/10/2022 14:46

bigbeautifulmonster · 21/10/2022 14:28

Those who commented about being an older parent... bah humbug to you

Watching with intrigue OP 👍💪🤞

It's not really bah humbug to consider what's best for a potential child

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
Pixiedust1234 · 21/10/2022 14:46

I'm sorry OP, I know you were hoping for a different result. Did you also take a covid test?

girlmom21 · 21/10/2022 14:46

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 14:45

Hello all,
Thank you for the lovely messages and the ones who were mean you don't need to worry, it's a negative

Sorry you didn't get the result you wanted OP.

motleymop · 21/10/2022 14:47

Sorry you are disappointed, OP.

justasking111 · 21/10/2022 14:48

Well you could have covid, could be menopause. Either way sounds miserable

hoorayandupsherises · 21/10/2022 14:48

Aw, sorry OP. Get to the doctor's for your symptoms and to have a chat.

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

Janey3090 · 21/10/2022 14:49

Sorry it was negative OP, and for some of the negative comments shared by other posters on here which were unnecessary.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/10/2022 14:50

I wonder if the same point would be raised if op was 52 and male and was having a baby with a partner?

Yes, I would. In fact, I specifically made that point.

Yourhamsterisnonbinary · 21/10/2022 14:51

Shocker

Original poster
Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 14:51

It will be menopause
I had a blood test to rule out anything else and I get the results on Monday. I will then look into HRT I think, can't cope with these symptoms. If I had been pregnant I would have been happy but it's not something I ever imagined happening at this stage of my life 😊

OP posts:
EverydayIsPJday · 21/10/2022 14:52

Sorry @Cassavaflower I hope you are OK

BattenburgDonkey · 21/10/2022 14:52

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

Well as OP said she isn’t pregnant, so you can stop now.

Daddypigstummy · 21/10/2022 14:53

Hope you’re ok OP.

Yellowjacketforwinter · 21/10/2022 15:00

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 21/10/2022 13:47

A friend of mine has lost both her parents and she's not even 40 yet. They were older parents, not as old as 53. I wouldn't be counting it as a blessing if I'm honest.

Good luck anyway OP.

I have lost both my parents in my 40s and they were 18 & 21 when I was born!

CarefreeMe · 21/10/2022 15:01

Do you have any DCs OP?

I’m sorry you are disappointed but you’re in the prime of your life and having a young baby getting in the way would be so difficult.

Enjoy your freedom - travel, go to the cinema, gym, dinners with friends etc. All of the things that you can’t do with a young baby.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 21/10/2022 15:04

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

So nasty. There really is no need on a thread like this.

BellePeppa · 21/10/2022 15:13

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

I’m sorry the experience of having older parents has left you dissatisfied. My parents were in their 20s/early 30s when I was born but I didn’t grow up with any grandparents. My dad’s parents both died before I was born and my mum was nc with her parents. I only had one cousin as well. On the other hand, I had my children in my 40s but they grew up with grandparents and even now as young adults still have their grandmothers. Look at Jack Whitehall, he has an amazing relationship with his dad even though he’s in his 80s and Jack is in his 30s, they travel the world together and have a great time in each others company. Having said all that though I do believe 50s for women is pushing it (health wise etc) and men do seem to have children later with much younger women but I don’t like hearing of men in their 70s or even 80s having children, that’s just bloody selfish,

LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 21/10/2022 15:14

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 14:49

@ThingsIhavelearnt - we agree to differ. Having had older parents (my dad was 54 when I was born) I can tell you it's shit.

Both my parents loved me dearly (and I them) and not a day goes by when I don't miss them. My dad died when I'd just turned 16 and my mum when I was 32. He didn't have the energy to cope with a young child and I missed out on relationships with grandparents/cousins/aunts and uncles on his side as they were all so much older.

In all honesty I would not wish older parents on any child - not only do they they have to cope with not having relationships with grandparents etc, they may experience bereavement at an early age and there is the social aspect too - the teasing/bullying at school (explaining it's not granny/granddad picking you up but mum/dad).

I'm glad you're family are happy, but you will never know the impact of having older parents.....if they are lucky and you live to a ripe old age, your child may well be balancing a young family who deserve their time love and attention (just as you gave them) alongside having to care for elderly/infirm parents. Your child's child will probably not know it's grandparents - these things take a toll - but tend to be the worries kept from an aging parent.

My parents were young when they got married and had kids. They were immature, crap parents who neglected me and my sisters emotionally and physically. I became a carer to my mother when I was in my 20s after she had a breakdown. My dad abandoned us after their marriage broke up in my early teens. I didn’t see him for years. I don’t have much contact with them now and they rarely see their grandchild.
Your circumstances are very sad but at least your parents loved you.
You shouldn’t use your own personal background to project on to other people. That’s the way it was for you but it’s certainly not always the case with older parents.
My PIL are in their 80s, in great health and actively involved with their gc. In fact, mil drove me home from the maternity hospital with my newborn dd.
There are advantages and disadvantages to having dc earlier or later in life and everyones circumstances are different.
Lots of people don’t have the option to choose to have kids at the exact right time in their lives either.

CrimsonThunder · 21/10/2022 15:14

@JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon - not meant as nasty, apologies if it comes across that way. It's a lived experience and my opinion which is every bit as valid as any other.

I disagreed with the OPs statement that a baby to parents aged 52/53 would be a blessing. For them maybe, but not necessarily for the child/older siblings etc.

If people don't want to hear opposing opinions, then don't post your private business on a public forum.

tenbob · 21/10/2022 15:19

girlmom21 · 21/10/2022 14:46

It's not really bah humbug to consider what's best for a potential child

Show quote history

Oh come on

There are thousands of threads on here from women in very, very sub-optimal situations who have found themselves pregnant, and they always receive a chorus of ‘you’ll make an amazing mum!’
‘you sound so strong!’
’things have a way of sorting themselves out!’
and hundreds of other ridiculous statements which pay no attention to the facts she will have posted about having no money, no support network, no job, an abusive partner or whatever else

Being an older mum is pretty much the only thing that is guaranteed to bring out the negativity and unpleasantness
Bringing your child into homelessness and poverty gets a more positive response than being born to a parent over 40…

nonetcurtains · 21/10/2022 15:23

Cassavaflower · 21/10/2022 13:00

Hello
I'm in the car on the way to the shops!
I'm sure it's just menopause but need to confirm. I know a healthy pregnancy at my age is extremely unlikely but a baby would feel like a miracle and a blessing

Your blessing would be a stroppy teenager when you're 70!

AdobeWanKenobi · 21/10/2022 15:23

Ignoring all the bullshit to wade through on this thread..
OP, look after yourself. Sometimes things like this happen and it stirs all kinds of weird feelings about fertility and age and leaves you, well, a bit low.
It's ok to feel disappointed that you're not pregnant. It's ok to feel a bit out of sorts with the menopause.
Be kind to yourself Flowers