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Original poster

Does anyone not offer guests a drink

121 replies

xxcatcatcatxx · 19/10/2022 00:55

I just thought it was common courtesy.
literally the first thing you do when you have someone round - even family. Went to BIL earlier and apparently I should have just asked if I wanted a drink, feel that’s a bit rude?

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 19/10/2022 00:59

Depends who it is. Not common guests? I’d offer. Family, close friends etc you know where the kettle is, you know where the wine is the whisky the glasses the cups just fire in, help yourselves.

DoubleNegativePanda · 19/10/2022 00:59

I don't, and usually don't have them offered to me. But I'm American, so that may just be a cultural difference and not necessarily rudeness.

starray · 19/10/2022 00:59

No, always offer guests. Rude not to.

Rickrollme · 19/10/2022 01:02

DoubleNegativePanda · 19/10/2022 00:59

I don't, and usually don't have them offered to me. But I'm American, so that may just be a cultural difference and not necessarily rudeness.

What??? I’m American too and of course I offer someone a drink! And a snack, and anything else they need. Close family knows to help themselves but everyone else I definitely offer. I don’t know where in America you were raised but everyone I know was raised this way.

DaisyChristina · 19/10/2022 01:14

As soon as their coats are off and they are sitting down I offer a drink and something to eat.

feministqueen · 19/10/2022 01:23

Always offer anyone who comes to our house a drink! The kettle is rarely off here

girlmom21 · 19/10/2022 01:26

Depends if I want them to stay, tbh

NameChange329435 · 19/10/2022 01:27

I don't but I hate people visiting, so it's in the hope they don't come back. Dh is much more sociable than me and offers everyone a drink and snack.

butterfliedtwo · 19/10/2022 01:29

girlmom21 · 19/10/2022 01:26

Depends if I want them to stay, tbh

Yes, same.

SiobhanSharpe · 19/10/2022 01:47

Even if it was my DM, I'd still say "can I get you a cup of tea, Mum?l

pattihews · 19/10/2022 01:47

I do and so did my DM, who had a bit of a go-on-go-on-go-on habit, but my DS doesn't. We live a five-hour drive apart. I will arrive at her place swivel-eyed from driving and desperate for a cup of tea and a slice of toast or a biscuit. She will sit and talk for an hour or two before saying 'Oh, I'm going to make tea, would you like one?' I have learned to walk in, say 'I'm desperate for a tea and something to eat' and go and put the kettle on, but I don't visit often and it feels rude and I think she perceives it as rude. But what else are you supposed to do?

echt · 19/10/2022 02:58

Always. As said upthread, as soon as the coat is off and the guest seated, the offer of a drink sand snack is made. If anyone dropped in on me, they'd be stuffed for bikkies as I don't have them, but could rustle up toast and dip-type things.

ilovepixie · 19/10/2022 03:06

I'm from Northern Ireland and the kettle is switched on as soon as a car comes in the drive!

OMGTheIrony · 19/10/2022 03:10

I offer but I generally only have instant coffee and tap water, so slim pickings 🤣

HowVeryBizarre · 19/10/2022 03:13

Of course. I was raised in Ireland where it would be incredibly rude not to put the kettle on (or pour a drink) for guests pretty much straight away. And of course something to go with your cuppa…..

uncomfortablydumb53 · 19/10/2022 03:30

I offer everyone a drink as soon as they sit down

FanTaill · 19/10/2022 03:45

ilovepixie · 19/10/2022 03:06

I'm from Northern Ireland and the kettle is switched on as soon as a car comes in the drive!

This! I’ve pre-filled the kettle while they’re on their way over.

ClaryFairchild · 19/10/2022 04:07

A little bit different with family than with other guests. I would sometimes offer to family but they would feel comfortable either asking or getting their own cuppa.

Miajk · 19/10/2022 04:52

I do but some guests that visit know just to help themselves. So it depends on how close you are I think.

Smallonesaremorejuicy · 19/10/2022 04:56

Always .. had a tradesperson in today , asked him if would like a hot or cold drink straight away .

FiveShelties · 19/10/2022 05:07

Everyone who comes here is offered a drink - tea, coffee or a cold drink.

I am usually getting the wine glasses out as they sit down.😁

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 19/10/2022 05:12

I know I'm meant to but have probably forgotten occasionally due to being stressed about having a visitor in the first place.
.
I take water with me if leaving the house for awhile and am not a big tea drinker or snacker so just don't think about it most of the time. That said, I do try and remember to offer!

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 19/10/2022 05:13

Also, as with a pp I'm unlikely to have anything useful to visitors e.g. cow's milk, sugar, biscuits or wine in the house without prior warning.

CatSeany · 19/10/2022 05:14

Yes, I offer instantly, and offer at least a couple of times if they say no just to make sure they're not saying no out of politeness.

Woodsparrow · 19/10/2022 06:49

Did I invite them? Do I want them to stay?

A few factors here. Usually I'd offer. My mum knows I hate uninvited visitors but still turns up expecting to be let in, she does not get offered a drink and as I make some sort of "I'm just on my way out" noise she'll complain I've not given her a drink. I'm not a total bitch btw I see her plenty