Does anyone not offer guests a drink

[xxcatcatcatxx]

I just thought it was common courtesy.
literally the first thing you do when you have someone round - even family. Went to BIL earlier and apparently I should have just asked if I wanted a drink, feel that’s a bit rude?

And what do the drivers get? Nothing?

Infrequent visitors like ILs, friends, colleagues get offered drinks and I make sure we have a variety in including decaf. My sister visits 2-3 times a week and makes herself drinks as and when she wants one.

My best friend is terrible at offering drinks, even when she hosted a dinner party she didn't provide anything so we had ribena and water.

@JenniferBarkley

Probs being a little oversensitive but we got in a row about it when we got home, they were doing some DIY and I was relegated to the basement level with a screaming child for an hour and a half which was absolutely freezing. Not sure why I was invited. They were in the bedroom drinking beers and Irn Brus from a mini fridge, I was too upset to ask for anything when I saw 😩

Also reading the replies I’m starting to think I should have some biscuits in reserve as well xxx

@Season0fTheWitch

Hahaaaaaa that’s awful but hilarious in hindsight 😂 xxx

I always have done and so did my parents ... however I've noticed my daughter doesn't. But maybe that's a student thing 😁

Yes normally but my retired parents have a habit of sitting in my house all day on my only day off. I've so much housework to do, I've stopped offering them stuff unless I've specifically invited them for lunch/coffee. They stop in on their way to the paper shop in the morning to 'say hello' and honestly wouldn't leave if I offered them a drink 😂

I do offer, but I don’t have loads of guests and neither my husband or I drink tea or coffee so if they’re unexpected, there is very little to actually offer aside from a glass of water!

I will always ask a guest or visitor if they like a drink once they’ve come through the threshold.

I’ll offer food or a snack if it’s around a traditional mealtime or if I know they’ve not eaten.

I always do but oftentimes the person refuses even if I say "you sure?" and I'm never quite sure if I'm supposed to offer again... Please help me I'm forrin

Were you there to look after the child while they did the DIY? In that case I would've thought it a clear case of help yourself.

@DarkAndDusty If you're in Scotland you're supposed to offer at least 50 times. 100% fact. I'm guessing based on my Irish relatives, over there its 200 times. Not sure about England or Wales.

My inlaws are the worst for this. Since we had DD they never offer us a drink when we visit, DP waits then asks " aren't you going to offer us a drink?" and is met with huffing and puffing and "you know where the kitchen is". They're quite happy to accept drinks from us when they visit us and we offer within first ten mins or so as its, y'know, what you do when you have visitors! They have never set foot in our kitchen.

If you're Manx on the Isle of Man it's only about 20 times. If you're Manx and living 'across' you kind of go with the flow. But my DP (English) does think I'm a bit OTT on the hospitality front, and I think he's a miserable git for giving up offering on attempt 3.

I always offer guests. Mostly I'm offered, but if I go to my bf's house often she's trying to wrangle with a toddler, so I'll just stick the kettle on myself and make us both a cup.

Depends on whether I want them to stay. If no prior warning and I am going out no but otherwise yet.

I always do. “Do you want a cup of tea” is code speak for stay and chat, let’s have a catch up.

I always offer people as soon as they're into the living room and sitting themselves down - don't like to mob them as they're coming in the door. Exception is my parents, I put the kettle on when I see the car arriving as they ALWAYS want a cup of tea.

Always offer a biscuit/snack as well unless they've come for dinner and we're just about to eat anyway.

My parents will make me a cup of tea when I arrive at theirs too, even though I could find my way to the kettle in the dark.

It feels very fundamental, to refresh the person who's "travelled" - whether that journey was 10 minutes in the car or 5 hours on the train.

we have an open house, I’ll offer if I’m not occupied with our daughter, but everyone knows just to help themselves

Always offer visitors a drink. Sometimes a biscuit or slice of cake to if afternoon.

I always offer but if I get distracted with chatting or arguing with my toddler, it won't be straight away.

What I find annoying is when guests (I have family that do this) say no to a drink to be polite when they do actually want one. Then you're supposed to offer again, and insist, etc. I can't be bothered to play silly games so if they say no, I just leave it there and tell them to help themselves if they change their mind.

@LoisWilkersonslastnerve christ how do you cope with that!!

If they stayed for longer than about 30 mins after the first offer, I'd offer again.

I'm rubbish at it. We don't drink tea/coffee and there isn't any cows milk in the house as a routine, so I just forget because there's no habit. The friends that come over most are "help yourself league". Recently one fancied a coffee for a change and I had to pop the seal on the coffee that I bought in 2020 to replace the one that was out of date... fortunately she doesn't mind things out of date as it lapsed about a month earlier.

I went from March 2020 to Sept 2021 without making any tea/ coffee because of the near-continuous restrictions and the effect it had on socialising/ organised activities.

In good news we have a good range of fruit teas, soft drinks and alcohol. I drink to thirst and offer when I think about it. In many places there's only tap water avaliable and at least I make the effort to buy in something I never consume.

My mum helps herself. My dad asks me (even though he's free to help himself ( and then gets me to make it!