If you're going through stressful times at the moment and can't talk to anyone irl about it for one reason or another...

[AmberGer]

Then let this thread be a support to you.
You don't have to disclose anything that you're not comfortable with.
I am also going through a lot at the moment that I can't talk to anyone about. It's deeply isolating.
I am procrastinating at the moment when I should be doing my housework.
Which doesn't help but I am making progress with some things. I have been more forgetful lately as I have been dealing with so much.
For the first time in my life I'm trying to be more organised and putting everything in my phone calendar. It helps to deal with one thing at a time and I can see what I need to do each day.
I hope this thread can be helpful to others in similar situations

Thanks so much, I’ve tried to stay off forums as much as possible as it just upsets me but I’ll have a look once I’m feeling a bit stronger. I hope things are getting easier for you and your family too.

My 3.5 has high functioning autism (Aspergers), but the waiting list to start an assessment process where I live us 18 months. No one will recognise how hard it is for us because she is so intelligent and masks so well, but taking care of her is such hard work. Like many autistic children she is a terrible sleeper (last night she went to sleep at 11pm...she is 3!) so there is not even any time to get things done when she goes to bed. I don't even know if there will be any support if we do get a diagnosis.

She hates nursery because she doesn't understand how to form friendships with the NT children. But I send her anyway for 15 hours a week to give me a chance to do things around the house/ have some respite and feel like a terrible mum for doing this.

And in a minute some fucker will be along to tell me I can't use the term 'high functioning' autism, because that's a thing too now.

@Foxhassmellysocks I don't have any experience of an ND child directly (my nephew was diagnosed with Aspergers 5 or so years ago, but I don't often see him), but you're not a bad mum, don't feel guilty about the 15 hours. You're still human/not superwoman you can't do everything even under "normal" circumstances never mind with an ND child who doesn't want to or can't sleep. You need the time and in fact I bet you're a better parent for having that little bit of time. From what I've seen of my nephew it's bloody hard work, notwithstanding how much you love them. He gets a "one to one" at school as a result of his diagnosis but whether further support is given I don't know. 18 months to start an assessment is insane. You're doing the best you can x

@AmberGer thank you again for this thread.

I got all my woes out upthread and it made me think I cant control the cancer, I cant control my weight, I cant control a lot of what will happen financially, but I could do something about the state of my house, so I doped myself up on painkillers and absolutely gutted my kitchen and living room.

I'm sitting in a spotless room, with a cuppa in hand and my kids are all reading quietly, and I could honestly cry.

Thank you, a vent has done me the power of good

Baby steps everyone, baby steps.

Well Done on your baby steps.

I cried over bills next month, first world problems as I can heat house but I have a dental bill, vets bills for cat as needs boosters, car mot n servuce bill and another big bill to pay. 400 quid before I've started the month but friends will tell me how I'm on good income. Its just relentless at the mo.

Im trying to not worry about biopsies and everything else ontop.

What a fantastic achievement. Well done you!

Sometimes in difficult times, the kindness of strangers can be what you need.....

Thankyou OP for this thread. I hope you can share what you are experiencing.

all thoughts and warm hugs to those who are suffering on here.

I can see that many of us are single parents who are isolated. Like many others, I have no family support (narcissistic parents, siblings with ‘issues’) and friends are wrapped up in their own lives. I escaped DV three years ago: from thr outside I am an empowered single woman, good career etc.

on the inside I am screaming. So alone, so lonely, and Absolutely everything relies on me. Ex an abusive narc, no contact.

sometimes I feel like I literally cannot take another need or demand and I will explode.

7 years ago we rescued two cats and eventually got a dog and they were my world. My daughter came along and the cats went out more and they have started to come in straight away and we were loving having them back. They had transformed into confidants cats with us enjoying life to its fullest.

Eric had recently hurt his paw so had to stay in for three weeks so we got more quality time together. Friday night him and his sister were in his bed and he did not get up for food and his leg was sticking stretched out. Not unusual but it was that he did not get. My heart sank I knew something was desperately wrong. We took him to the emergency vet who confirmed our thoughts he had been hit by a car. His leg could not move or his tail but an X-ray confirmed no broken bones. I was beside myself but my husband pushed through and advised the vet we want to try, they gave him pain relief and we got to say bye for the night. He was happy nuzzling into us when we went.
In the morning we had a call saying he has used a litter try but still had no movement but to give it a few days on pain relief. We then got a dreaded call to say he had gone down hill hissing and urinating on himself and he could not use the tray. We made the awful decision to say goodbye as we did not want to put him through more pain.
when we said goodbye the vet said he seems happier that we were there and he was purring with his head on my arm when he went to sleep.

i feel so guilty and keep going through it over and over it my head. Since last Friday I feel a physical pain in my chest and I have not been able to keep it together and keep breaking down. I keep thinking what could I have done differently and perhaps if I went to bed earlier the night before it could have changed a whole sequence of events.
I absolutely loved him and I hope he knew how much I loved him. I have his sister still to remind me of him which is bitter sweet. My sweet little three year old does not understand and asked can Santa bring him back which breaks my heart even more.

i feel like my family has got suddenly smaller. The cats and dogs are our family and have been by my side through sad time and happy times.

I don't want to go into great depth, but some mental health struggles and relationship worries. I'm also worried about money even though I'm in a good position and have some worries about some family members.

Have an autoimmune condition an been bad for 2 weeks now - pain, exhaustion diarrhoea, can't sleep for more than 2-3 hours.

Been off work and don't know how I'll cope when I go back - new team, I'm afraid my new boss thinks I'm bailing as very stressful role, and I'm worried that the stress of the role is a trigger for this and anxiety too, which I've never suffered from before but it's awful.

Can't afford not to work/take early retirement, don't know how I can keep coping with this condition.

Im in love with someone who doesnt love me back.

Im hugely isolated and can go days without saying a word 🥺

That's so sad @Littleanimallady. I'm sure your cat knew how much you loved him. To him you were the human who gave him a chance at a happy life and he would have known you want the best for him. Be kind to yourself, there's nothing more you could have done. I hope your grief becomes lighter soon.

Organising DH's funeral for Monday - am wobbling between being super practical (painting all the woodwork - never painted before! That was DH's department) and sobbing uncontrollably.
The 'outlaws' arrive the day before

I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound like you're doing your very best in an utterly horrible situation x

I fell out with my best friend of 20 years a few weeks ago. She is quite a difficult person and doesn't have many friends apart from me. Her behaviour just became too much for me. I have always known what she was like but just sort of got on with things but that past year it's just got too much. I probably should sit down and explain what her behaviour is like but I really can't be bothered

I work in a school that has recently gone to an academy. New bosses aren't great, school has lost its heart. I am being investigated for gross misconduct as is my husband who works at the same school. (Not student or staff related) The investigation has been going for almost 4 months and I am so worried, angry and frustrated by it.

I'm tired all the time. I'm low level anxious about my kids and very worried about a friend who I think will probably kill themselves eventually and my parent is getting frailer by the day and I haven't felt well in myself for weeks.

My dh has cancer and will shortly be going into hospital for several months for treatment, I have a severely disabled teenager with challenging behaviours who requires 2:1 support and health and social care are being complete bastards about providing extra support. I am now on antidepressants because I feel like I cannot cope with the hostility and lack of support we are getting.