Things you can never say out loud in real life as you'll hurt the feelings of someone you like....

[hatetheplayernotthegame]

...stop buying puppies from breeders FFS.

So sick of people popping up with the latest - inevitably moustachiod dull as fuck doodle - puppy that they've bought from some back yard breeder.

I love dogs. The people who do this never seem to really like dogs much, if they did they'd consider adopting one of the gazillions dumpbed post-lockdown (bought by moustachio-doodle loving twats just like them).

Stop buying shit. You’ve just lost your job and had to borrow from your parents. You do not need diamond earrings and a mani-pedi. Nor do we need to nip into Starbucks and buy a five quid coffee in order to have a walk in the park.

You can read all the parenting waffle you like on Insta. Your child is badly behaved and I cannot stand being with him but it's your fault for not showing him right from wrong.

Your husband is a sexist, racist bore and I don’t want to spend time with him ever again.

Aren’t you embarrassed by the way he constantly interrupts and talks over conversations? Does he really think I came out to listen to his incessant drivel?

Nobody can get a word in fucking edgewise and it’s so incredibly dull, it’s such a shame you put up with it because he pays all the bills.

If you want me to be part of your wedding party, make a speech and help with organising stuff, the least you could do is actually get married instead of having a ceremony and celebration without any intention of doing the paperwork in the foreseeable future.

Yes sister of mine, there is a reason no man has has ever asked you to marry him and that your long term partner always gets jobs that are "unfortunately 500 km away so he can only visit every second weekend. ". Also you are a total bitch and always have been and I know our parents will do anything for you but I won't.

The less you work the less I respect you. Maybe your MH would get better if you took a sensible job that you can do without getting signed off every third shift.

And we hang out less because my interests have widened from (a) your kids and (b) getting shit faced. I still do love you though.

Your eyebrows look as if they’ve been coloured in with Sharpies.

You're a spoiled, narcissistic bitch and I had you sussed within ten minutes of meeting you.

I've held my counsel for years whilst you've coerced and bullied your elderly mother into funding your lifestyle.

I held my counsel when your sister and brother (my partner) faced you down with the evidence you were stealing from your mother under the guise of 'managing' her funds. Although, tbf, it was me who pointed out some discrepancies between your visible income and your lifestyle in the first place. Ho-hum ....

Their devastation at realising you were not only a thief but a liar too was sooo painful to watch. You're fortunate they did not involve the police. I would have in a nanosecond.

I will continue to hold my counsel while you continue to poison your mini-me's mind against her father and, now, her new half-siblings. Your twisting of that little girl's mind to work as yours does i.e. if people aren't giving you material things, they are pointless/worthless, is abhorrent.

I know you think I'm a quiet, reserved person who can't handle 'scenes'. You know, the type of scenes you cause, as a woman in your fifties, indulging in a full-blown temper tantrum befitting of a toddler.

You are wrong. Very, very wrong. Ask my friends. Ask my family. Ask them about my ability to choose my time, my place, my words.

Anyway, once your mother passes, I will call you out for every cruel, twisted act of which I (and other family members) are aware. I will focus, particularly, on the behaviour that has impacted on your brother and me. Your theft and lying will be light relief in comparison to some of your acts.

And, being considerate, I will naturally give you as big an audience as your narcissism demands.

I know this isn’t the point but… I love doodles. My mum has one, she’s the nicest dog. My mum has had so many dogs over her life, some rescues, some from breeders, all sorts.

Can’t argue with you on the backyard breeders part. But honestly, aren’t the pure-bred breeders pretty immoral too? (Dogs with genetic problems typical to their “breed”).

Sure it’s great to rescue a dog. But that isn’t always possible in life. For example, my mum is a grandmother who minds her grandchildren twice a week. No rescue worth their salt would let her take a dog from them with such small children. That’s why she got her very sweet doodle (she didn’t want another congenital-problem-pure-breed, plus she wanted a non shedder if possible, which her dog is).

You let your daughter rule everything and she's turning into an unkind and spoiled little madam who goes running to adults as soon as she doesn't get her own way. It won't hurt to to wait whilst adults are talking, or to be told to wait to take her turn on something instead of pushing in and then telling tales when other children get upset at her behaviour. If you don't stop indulging her every whim now she's going to be bloody awful in a few years and you'll have no-one to blame but yourself.

I took this thread title to mean things that you couldn’t say to probably fairly nice people because it would hurt their feelings.

Instead it seems to be a thread about fairly horrible people who probably need something saying to them and whose feelings you don’t really care about anyway?

I know my dp doesn’t want to hurt my feelings when he won’t tell me the truth about why people never want to meet up with me, even for coffee. Maybe he genuinely doesn’t understand, but it actually hurts more when he says that it must be them and not me, because I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to fix it.

I know he doesn’t want to hurt me, especially as those same people often jump at the chance to meet up with him when I’m not there, and others make plans to do things with him, and although he tells me that obviously I should go, it’s got to the point now where I know that my being there would just spoil things.

Please, please, please engage in just one conversation, about anything, without dragging in a reference to your children. Especially since they are both in their late 20s, so it’s been going on for more than a quarter of a century. Enough.

You and your DH are both lazy, dishonest and workshy. I am shocked about how you cadge money from your own DM and that your elderly, widowed MIL has to pay your mortgage. All of this is your business but then don't disparage my choice to work full time or whine about having no money and how shit the Government are for not giving you more benefits.

That "Church" you're trying to recruit all your colleagues into is a cult led by a charlatan. My soul is not in a constant search for improvement, they're lying to you. Stop shoehorning God into every single sentence you utter, get some new friends and find something else to do apart from going to those meetings every lunchtime and evening. And stop being so judgmental. We're all much older than you and have actually experienced life. Hopefully as you're only 21 you'll actually see the light.

Stop expecting your adult children to be your friends and your social life. How does someone live their whole life in one place yet fail to have any real friends? Why don’t you have any hobbies or interests of your own? You’ve never worked full time, have retired early and now expect to claim benefits? No wonder your children find you hard work and avoid you. Get a life. Also stop saying you will do things and never do them, stop reading the Daily Mail. Read a proper book and develop some critical thinking !

You take too long to do everything, I love you but hurry the fuck up! Also organise your time better, it is actually possible to do two things at once.

Surely now,you must realise that it's YOUR child with the problem? If so many parents are saying the same thing,isn't it time to take notice? Sending me abusive messages because you don't parent your 10 year old child,you let them walk home,calling everyone little shits and YOU send me messages because I dared call your child a rude little girl? Wake up!!

I can't stand listening to your moaning. And that everyone's practical advice you never heed. Your chronic anxiety, lazy parenting, being disorganised, blaming your whole life and your poor decisions on the fact that your parents preferred your sister.

Horse people are weird. House and children neglected - horse living in luxury. What the fuck?!

It's not "our money" it's "Dad's money"...and I've never asked for a penny of it.

I love you both and I love your child but you need to relax and let him develop some resilience. He's nervous of everything because you don't let him fail, ever. You follow him around and anticipate his every wish and need. You freak out if he's upset in any way and rush to fix it. I know you love him and want him to be happy but he needs to experience some calculated risk and have some disappointments to bump up against.

I don’t know what the future holds for you, but I know the mess you are walking away from can’t be as bad as the mess you are walking into. You’ve brought this all on yourself. I won’t feel angry at your shitty conduct but hope that the child who relies on you to make their world safe makes it out okay. I hope that they don’t grow up learning to ignore the infidelities and general messiness that you have just so you have someone, anyone in your life.

Oh yes indeed I don’t know how ours finds time to read the 10 books she feeds back on each month with a side written about each

You are lazy and entitled.
You haven't had a job in the 20+ years I've known you.
You cannot keep using a criminal record from the 80s as an excuse. Lots of people with criminal records manage to get employment.
Our friendship has broken down, not because ' I'm having some weird breakdown' as you so kindly put it, but because you are cheating the benefit system by claiming ESA and PIP saying you are incapable of work through ill health and disability, and we both know that isnt the case.
Because you don't earn your money, it has little value to you. You are regularly upsetting our mutual friend by telling her the new things you have bought. Her and her Dh work full time and cannot afford these things. The other day you told her you threw away something you ordered from Amazon because it's packaging was a bit damaging and it was 'only 20 quid'. 20 quid is nearly 2 hours work for her, you self centered lay about.

(This is the bit that eats away at me more than all the stuff above every single day)

S isn't your friend, she can't actually stand you (for all the above reasons and more) The only reason she keeps in contact with you is because she is scared that if she cuts contact you will tell her Dh about her secret life, and he will kick her out.

There is so much more I could tell you, but I've decided to write it all down in a diary instead, as this has been hugely cathartic.

I can’t stand you and your pathetic excuse for a son. You think your precious boy is God’s gift to the world but he’s a drug dealing scum. He’s also a grown fucking man who doesn’t work and doesn’t provide financially for his two kids. But as long as he’s running back home to mummy dearest everyday then I guess all is well.

You should have just slept with him and had kids with him!