Things you can never say out loud in real life as you'll hurt the feelings of someone you like....

[hatetheplayernotthegame]

...stop buying puppies from breeders FFS.

So sick of people popping up with the latest - inevitably moustachiod dull as fuck doodle - puppy that they've bought from some back yard breeder.

I love dogs. The people who do this never seem to really like dogs much, if they did they'd consider adopting one of the gazillions dumpbed post-lockdown (bought by moustachio-doodle loving twats just like them).

To my lovely nephew -

Your mother was always selfish, I loved her more than anyone in the world but it was always all about her. Rather than growing up when she had you at a young age, she continued to fritter away every opportunity and shit all over anyone who helped her. She had every chance to put you first and make a good life for both of you, but she brought any Tom, Dick or Harry into your life and your home and ultimately died by them both going on a drunken bender one sunny Sunday afternoon while you were (once again) left with me.
Im sorry it was your boring aunty who brought you up, I know your mum was more fun.

@WetLettuce2

Stop using the term "partner" to describe teenage relationships, some guy you shagged twice after drunken pub nights, the cocklodger who resents your kids, the mooch who won't introduce you to his friends and sundry other situations where clearly there is no partnership.

Another one

C, you are a boring twat. You think the world revolves around you and you have to be in charge because you are fundamentally insecure. Be a nicer, kinder, more considerate person instead of painting rainbows on your windows and pretending your wife is an angel. She isn't.
And stop wearing those revolting tracksuit shirt thing while you walk your horrid dogs on a string you look scruffy. And that's being polite.

Aahhh

To colleague - please stop hijacking our team meetings with your political lefty rants. How can you be so tone deaf to not realise we all have different views and we are not shoving it down your throat.

Do you work in the same place I used to??

No, ‘Ann’, you do not have fantastic people skills.
You are able to bore people so effectively they should hire you in the anaesthetic room.
Your green socialism that you display in the staff room is touchingly idealistic but economically and scientifically illiterate. Commenting on the shape of my ankles is in no way an expression of concern for my well-being.
Organising the day to day procedures that constitute your department’s normal function should not be the major event you make it out to be, and things might run more smoothly if you stopped the tinkering and mind-changing. You can’t even explain how you want labels stuck on FFS!
And since when was info gained in someone else’s exit interview admissible evidence for a performance review?
So bye bye Ann, I know you were managing me out. I’ve got a new job and don’t care.

I know you are very attractive and vivacious. I know you were a very successful teacher at your own subject. But IT ISN'T "Him and her are going to Wales", it's "He and she are going to Wales", and yes, I damn well do think ALL teachers should have a good command of English, even if they're not teaching it as a main subject.

I love you but I'm not a Christian, YOU'RE not a Christian, you've never been to church and this isn't a "Christian country" to many of us. Its just a country. A lump of land. And I'm an atheist.

Stop telling people we're Christian because, in your words, we're white.

Newsflash, gay people aren't taking rights from other people, so it's completely different, and they have repeatedly asked to not be weaponised by the gender ideologues.

Yes I get this from people too. When you were going out night clubbing getting pissed up I was paying a mortgage . You flew in to a rage when you realised I had bought a house before you . Because you felt it should have been you . Because you saw it as your right . Because you thought it was your entitlement. You think everything I have worked for is an injustice
So unfair. You have underestimated me big time . You are not the only one and won't be the last .

Look under the DIL's thumb, she sounds a nasty piece of work.

You do have a choice. You just don't get a dog at all then. End of story.

You're an amazing Aunty and if he doesn't yet realise it, I'm sure he will one day

Your WhatsApp to me ‘goodnight, sleep tight’ every night means the absolute world to me . I wish I could tell you how much of a difference that makes to me to know someone out there cares enough . Going to bed alone night after night is so horribly lonely - your text every night for the last few months makes me feel all warm, cosy, safe and loved . I don’t think I can tell you that in case you’re a bit weirded out . You’re not replacing them, not by a long shot, but if it absolutely has to be this way then I’m glad I’ve got you by my side .

Get your poor cat neutered. Yes the kittens are cute but you are an irresponsible pet owner who already had to re-home your dog because you didn't care for her to the point she became a nervous wreck.

Something I wish I could have said to my mum when she was still alive:

I wish you could have pursued your talents rather than be pushed into a profession you did not like very much. Your mother was a nasty piece of work who belittled you every chance she got. You should have cut contact as soon as you left home.

Honestly, I wish I had the life experience I have now when my mum was still alive, it might not have changed the outcome but it was probably what she should have heard every now and again.

.

N, I’m very fond of you, but your standards of personal hygiene and grooming are too low. Someone else once approached me about your halitosis, asking if I could drop a hint, as apparently it would be better coming from me.

If you have food in the corners of your mouth (and you often do), wash it off. Don’t just wipe it on a towel 🤢. Shower every day, and dry yourself ON YOUR BATH TOWEL, not on someone else’s hand towel or the bath mat. What’s the matter with you, for goodness sake?

Brush your teeth twice a day and shave thoroughly. Growing a beard would be better than leaving small random patches of hairs here and there.

I’m convinced that if you do this, your career and your social life will improve.

Oh this one has really upset me x x 😞
What a poor child and how must they feel X x 💔

ExH: I understand you have Depression. But we have 2 young people with additional needs. If you are going to leave ALL their upbringing to me, as you have for 18 years so far, then, oddly enough, I don't have time or energy to pander to your needs too.
So I'm not interested in text updates about politics as you sit & watch TV whilst I drive the kids to appointments, as well as do all the other single parent jobs that come with 24/7 Carers responsibilities. I don't respect your refusal to take responsibility & your self pity. And I'm not able or willing to smooth things over any more when they don't much want to spend time with you. I can't help you any more.

Stop abusing your son. He is a sensitive artistic boy, not a girl. You have made him believe this lie since he was only 4 years old, now 11, I see him walk around our shops in high heels, my own daughter his age never takes her trainers off.

I don't know how you sleep at night, you must know this is all your own doing. The path you have sent him down, the abusive lies.........I hope he never forgives you.

Another one, sadly to the same person.

Whenever I call you out on your rudeness to me, your excuse of "We're sisters!" does not excuse your behaviour in the least. If you weren't my sister, I certainly wouldn't choose an ignorant bitch like you for a friend. Of course, you're never like this when it's just the two of us, but in company so that it would make an atmosphere if I were to say something and nobody like to do that, do we? You rely on that to get away with it. OTOH I'm sure that others are silently appalled even if they also remain silent. Ultimately the only person you show up is yourself.

Friend, I wish you'd listened more when we were teen-agers when you asked me why people didn't seem to like you. You put every man you've dated ahead of everyone else and then when it blows up, come running back to those you dropped. Well not this time. The man you're dating is lovely but please stop posting constantly on social media about all the expensive, exotic holidays you're having with him. It's boring, tone deaf and tedious. Also since you now no longer make an effort with me, you will never be a close friend again as you've hurt me too much now. You used me when you were single to go out and do things and now have dropped me like a hot potato. Well this time it's irreparable and you will never know because your heads so far up your latest boyfriends arse you don't realise. Unfortunately a lot of others clocked onto this year's before I did and don't like you. I'm not far off feeling the same.

Relative, you're the most useless family member I could wish for. When I was a teenager and suffering a terrible loss, you did fuck all to support me, not one thing to help. Your fat bastard husband did manage to come around and harassed me for money when I was pretty much a kid despite him owning a successful business worth half a million. You're both disgusting, and I actively avoid being around you now. And stop saying you'll come and visit me as we know it's a lie, you'd only come if pound signs were involved. My deceased family member would have hated you.

To my old best friend from school:
You hurt my feelings when you sent me that Christmas card with the messages in that you didn't have time to listen to my problems. I'd been through a lot of health issues after the birth of my daughter and it was taking its toll in multiple ways, emotionally and physically. I actually read something about postpartum hormones being similar to a mini menopause, and coupled with my low iron and worse movement disorder, I was a bit of a mess.

Yes, you were telling me tough love but it still hurt to hear that you didn't want to listen to me much and I'm still hurt by the fact you have little patience for others' physical pain in spite of being a medical professional.

I'm still struggling with different chronic symptoms and illnesses but haven't updated you since we last spoke. I know you didn't get my reasons for wanting to go to your birthday party last year with my daughter, but you said it was adult only and she had to stay behind if I came.

I guess we're just growing apart and haven't got as much in common any more. So sorry we have got to this stage, I guess you probably won't know how I really feel 😔

The idea of breeding dogs to be pets is unethical to me, doesn’t matter if they’ve been doing it for years, a puppy whines for its mother when you take them away. In my opinion owning a dog is entirely selfish. Sorry if you don’t like to hear it, I’m hope your dog is very happy being your pet.

They were strays living on the streets, and now they're spoiled beyond all belief and live very enjoyable lives, so yes they love being pets. It doesn't make me feel any kind of way to hear it, you missed my point entirely from up there on your high horse.

Most dogs do (or would) love being a pet. Most breeds have been specifically bred to enjoy being around people, and dogs in general depend upon people for their survival. I don't agree with dog breeding for profit or pure pretentiousness either, and wince every time I see one of my friends buy a puppy that's been bred as a fashionable breed or cross-breed, but that's not the same as saying no dogs should be kept as pets. They clearly should be pets, but people shouldn't be treating them as disposable possessions or lifestyle accessories.