Things you can never say out loud in real life as you'll hurt the feelings of someone you like....

[hatetheplayernotthegame]

...stop buying puppies from breeders FFS.

So sick of people popping up with the latest - inevitably moustachiod dull as fuck doodle - puppy that they've bought from some back yard breeder.

I love dogs. The people who do this never seem to really like dogs much, if they did they'd consider adopting one of the gazillions dumpbed post-lockdown (bought by moustachio-doodle loving twats just like them).

Sorry, I really care very little about your family and whilst I wish them no ill, if you died I wouldn't make an effort to keep in touch with any them and I wouldn't make the children do so either. Haven't you noticed how our adult DC has managed to be "working" every single time they've been coming here or we've been going there for over five years now? That's not a coincidence you know.

Stop going on about how fantastic your relationship with Jesus is. Stop going on about religion full stop. It's all a load of patriarchal lies and makes you look stupid.

No your dog isn't adorable. It's a badly behaved smelly mutt.

Your woolly hat didn't fall out of the car. It made you look silly so I binned it. The replacement one is much better xx

Your nothing but a misery and I hate the sight of you.

It also makes me laugh when they say they have been told it looks subtle and others wouldn't know. Even doctors are selling by insisting on "you only see bad cases, you won't notice well done ones".

Nope, it's more obvious than you think it is.

Stop doing balloon releases at funerals. They will never reach the deceased person up in the sky. It's all for show and attention seeking and destroys the environment. Don't complain about living in a "shit hole" when you're contributing to it.

Dear SIL. The reason why I have several friends I have been friends with for 30-50 years and you can usually only keep your friends for 2--3 years is because I am nice and you are not.

@Fimofriend This made me laugh, but it can't be nice having to put up with her IRL.

I call them "Pete Burns wannabes"

Secretly of course.

And what would be bad about having 'Just “rescues”.' only? I've had pure breeds and rescues (and now will only have rescues) and they give you as much love and reward as pure breeds. I'd be quite happy to have no pure breeds until all the rescues looking for loving homes, have one.

We don’t care that she is getting married yet again. We all know she is doing it for money again. She is a gold digger who has no respect for men. In your eyes though, she can do no wrong.

I think I will end up saying the last bit in some form or other. When I go to get him I'll have had 4 hours on a train and another 2.5 hours to get to the next destination; the inconvenience and reason for initially saying no will surely be writ large!!

Being rich does not make you interesting. In fact, it is utterly boring listening to your shopping dilemmas and which brand of <insert pointless item> you are considering - oh, and you seem to have lost your senses in how much you will pay for an everyday item. What do you do with your life? What do you think? I couldn't care less what you bought.

Please shut the hell up and stop talking about your DC and how much better he is than my DC that's 3 weeks older yours. It's amazing at 9 months he can walk, talk and tie his own shoes and has enrolled in to University already but mine almost died and having him here doesn't make it a competition.

The post about a colleague’s random ramblings on the office Teams chat isn’t about me, but I fear my colleagues would say something similar. 😬

Your hair extensions are shite and shocking - the amount of money you have, I would have thought you could afford better.

This thread is hugely cathartic by the way :)

Your boyfriend isn't lovely. He's a violent and abusive arsehole who has managed to manipulate you into believing his lies. He didn't go to prison for 6 years because he 'only' slapped his ex girlfriend - he nearly killed her. You should be intelligent enough to realise this. He will hurt you one day.

Although tbf I have said this but not so bluntly. I'm close to snapping though.

<Feels paranoid>

Wish you would volunteer to do some of this admin crap once in a while...and no, am not better at it !

I’m sorry if I’m the person who talks endlessly about dc I am trying really hard, but I’ve not necessarily achieved much the last few years due to ill health, not currently working to have that to talk about. So dc have been my life, and I’m genuinely very proud of them. However I’m making a real effort, so please bear with me!

Stop whatsapping me videos of your grandchildren! I couldnt care less! There not my family and I dont even like there parents - you are my friend not them but im rapidly going off you. One birthday video, one xmas video, maybe one first day at school video but not every bloody weekends playdoh and park walks - I dont bloody care if they are the most clever and beautiful kids ever in the whole world stop filling my phone with junk.

No, having a Master's degree does not put you above offering visitors a drink. Nor does it make you any better than me, we are in the same role, on the same pay grade. If that annoys you, then it's not me you need to tell.

Oh, you've got a new puppy? How lovely - what breed is it? A what?
No love, no it isn't a Labbywestiejackshitwhippoodle. It's a mongrel.

Your two timing and you need to sort it out !
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Makes me laugh you unblocked me because you heard I finally met someone after being single for so long. Have fun watching my great life get even better, cos you will shortly be getting blocked 😂

That made me lol!
Passing the buck there aren't they ?
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