Things you can never say out loud in real life as you'll hurt the feelings of someone you like....

[hatetheplayernotthegame]

...stop buying puppies from breeders FFS.

So sick of people popping up with the latest - inevitably moustachiod dull as fuck doodle - puppy that they've bought from some back yard breeder.

I love dogs. The people who do this never seem to really like dogs much, if they did they'd consider adopting one of the gazillions dumpbed post-lockdown (bought by moustachio-doodle loving twats just like them).

Saying remembering my great great Grandad Alfred on what would have been his 136th Birthday or whatever on FB is just stupid. If he hadn't have died when he did, he certainly would be dead by now!

Doesn't sound like many people actually like the people they are slagging off. Perhaps I misread the OP.

Puppy farming is immoral

@ByViolet is right. There are too many puppies being bred by unscrupulous people. Not all home breeders are bad breeders - but anyone breeding because they are motivated by money is, by definition, a bad breeder.

They put any two dogs together without a thought for compatibility or possible health problems, rarely take care of the bitch and puppies properly (because they want maximum profit for minimum outlay), and don't give a damn who they sell them to.

"Doodlisation" was the worst thing that ever happened to dogs. Even the man who first bred labradoodles - and did it for a purpose - has said he would turn the clock back if he could. It's been a license to print money for many horrible people.

Don't for one second think you are. Many of us walk this walk. Every time you write statements like the one you wrote above is a moment of clarity, or that's how I read it anyway. You are an adult now, not their child, so do what you need to do.

I can't stand you. I resent that your care has fallen to me by default and that you're just a horrible vile person. I dread seeing you but feel guilty when I don't. You have nothing nice to say about anyone and you lie constantly to paint yourself in a positive light and everyone else as inferior/wrong in some way. You're just not nice and I wish you'd just die so I don't have this burden any more.

This. And I find the hashtag #myfamilymyteam for some reason really unpleasant, like you are pitting yourself against the world.

Please stop pretending that you're a social justice warrior we're meant to admire for saving us all from whatever your latest obsession is and accept that you're a deeply anti-social person who gets a kick from glueing or chaining yourself to things in order to cause as much trouble as possible. You've been like this since childhood, even when you had no causes.

You love screaming into the faces of people you call fascists because they don't agree with everything you believe. You hate the police and want to defund them, but when your bag was stolen they were the first people you turned to — and then shouted at them because they didn't prioritise you. You say you're an anarchist but you go berserk if your Amazon orders don't turn up on time or the washing machine breaks down.

You get your self-esteem from thinking you're right and everyone else is a blind moron. You dream of a fantasy world where everyone will have everything they need, the royal family and the rich (including me, because I'm buying a property) will be shot and the government will supply everything you need, including recreational drugs. You think that's nirvana, but it won't be, because there'll still be angry, oppositional, looking-for-a-fight type people like you around.

And Bob, I'm sorry about your colitis but I don't want to hear about it while I'm at lunch.

Also - why do you feel the need to wish a happy anniversary or birthday to your DP or your kids on Facebook??!! With lots of gushing messages. Can't you talk to them, and tell them in person, why do you need to broadcast it to the world?

You've become bitter and grabby. I've lost all sympathy for your poor financial decisions. You know how planning our last holiday together you claimed poverty, so i covered the cost of your hotel room for you? - well, i did that happily thinking you were genuinely struggling for cash. The fact that you then went and blew £450 on yet another designer handbag during that same holiday showed me how very very selfish you are. It was the final straw. Your hotel room cost £300, if you had money to spare for a bag then actually you had money to pay for the room. You didn't need the bag.

We've been friends since primary school but I'm now happy to let this 'friendship' fade away.

I know you are just sitting it out until you inherit from your wealthy parents-in-law, while your wife works herself into the ground and you claim to be too fragile to ever actually go out and get a proper job. And when you do inherit you will piss it all up against a wall.

[To the useless partners of two women I know.]

We know the same person it seems. 😀😀Mine has no idea of how much of a bore he is. Never takes a breath. Endless monologue. And stop the was it Monday? No hang on, it was Wednesday. Who cares!! Argh. 🤬

This. Clients who want me to talk to them for hours about their dreams of fitting some complex high-end system, get me to do surveys and quotes, then tell me they've purchased cheap incompatible components online and they'd like one of my 'chaps' to come and install their Frankenstein system. 'I won't take more than a day, will it — £200?'

You ruined all your four children, so much so, that they all started to drink. Two of them dying early as a result. Due to this, you have deprived me and my siblings of a mother and my niece and nephew of a grandmother.
You were a narcissistic old cow and you got what you deserved when everyone cut contact with you.

Please lose weight, you are both slowly killing yourselves and your inability to do anything physical is having a negative impact on your child.

Frankenstein system made me laugh @pattihews

I'm pleased. We all need a few laughs, don't we?

Telling everyone that you were abused is bollocks. You treated your husband appallingly and I don't blame him one bit for going off with someone else. For once in your life you didn't get your own way and you call that "abuse".

Oh and it would be nice if you enquired about my life occasionally. Last time I saw you I was really struggling to cope but - like always - I didn't get a word in edgeways. It's why I don't see you any more.

You are the most wonderful friend but I've had to block you on SM due to you constantly sharing sad news stories. I know the world is in a sorry state but I go on Instagram to see cute cats and amazing cakes. When I want to catch up on the news, I will watch the news.

Oh God yeah! And...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY AMAZING LITTLE MAN, YOU ARE THE SWEETEST KINDEST FUNNY BOY.....

He's 2, he can't read, 'little man' is weird and yeah yeah yeah they're all sweet, kind and funny aren't they? Except, maybe he wasn't when he bit you and drew blood. I love you but please, #claramaxandmammy (names changed) is really annoying.

I didn't say this re bronzer but said this to an ex younger female colleague re highlighter, just mentioned it really stood out under fluorescent lighting in our team meeting, we did swap make up tips though!

I absolutely hate you and can't stand the sight of you. You're controlling and abusive and you're making my best friend miserable. I find it almost impossible to speak to you civilly after seeing the messages you've sent her and hearing about the things you've done. This wedding should not be going ahead but I can't make my feelings known because you'll stop her talking to me, like you did with the bravest of our friends who stood up to you (and phoned the police!), and then I wouldn't be able to be there for her at all. I'll be by her side whatever she chooses but I hope she gets the strength to leave you before it's too late. Please.

If I thought she would back up my story I would phone the police too, but I know they'll get there and she'll just stand up for you. Through fear, not love.

To a friend, "yes I know you're a two faced bitch who talks shit to other people and then denies it to me". This person will deny doing it until she's blue in the face, I don't really see her now.

Ex best friend - "yes you're a gold digger, a close friend of your ex's told me so and even your current partner and parent to your child said the same".

You do need to wash your hair more than once a week, and you don't have a healthy diet (niether do I but I don't profess to)

You are a bully and have no business being near children, let alone being a headteacher. Stop pissing away parent donations on things that the kids don't need or want but make your school look good on paper and deal with the disruptive behaviour problems that are making kids and teachers alike leave.