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Original poster

When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

619 replies

Dustingdemon · 15/10/2022 10:03

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 15/10/2022 12:18

Open the fridge door every 20 minutes to see if some tasty snacks have miraculously appeared.

badassbaby · 15/10/2022 12:22

Toddlerteaplease · 15/10/2022 11:49

@forlornlorna1 I think you are my hero too!

I'm going to call them and ask them to pick me up from the bottom of the road, yes it's a 5 minute walk but I'm sooooo tired.
Then I'm going to take a poo in their toilet lasting at least an hour, if they bang on the door I'm going to scream "IM IN HERE!!!" even though I know they know I'm in there.
I'll then stare into the open fridge for ages, even though they constantly ask me to shut the door AS ALL THE COLD AIR IS ESCAPING!!!
I'll then say there's no food in, and can we order a mind boggling expensive takeaway, even though I know they did the food shop yesterday.
I'll order the takeaway on my phone, I'll have a spend limit but when they go to pay they will find it's magically increased by a tenner, because pizza has to have a stuffed crust or it doesn't taste as nice.
After I've eaten the pizza I'll bugger off into my room for the rest of the night, but I will text them to ask them for a bottle of water...yes I know technically I could get off my arse and fetch it myself but why the fuck should I? They've been working all day but I've been studying which is soooo much harder.
I'll then fall asleep leaving my tv on, if they don't come in to switch it off it'll be on all night.
That will really cheer them up when they pop their head round the door in the morning...yes I know we are in an energy crisis but I DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE BORN DID I ?!?!

PerrinAybara · 15/10/2022 12:23

Ask them to buy a specific foodstuff for me. Then declare I don't like it any more.

Brokendaughter · 15/10/2022 12:24

Put tissues in all the pockets of clothes in the wash.

Then put some down the sleeves in case the ones in the pockets get found.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 15/10/2022 12:26

Ask if my friend can come with me and pick the most obnoxious, rude person I know to come, we'll turn up, jump up and down on the couch then have a massive fall out. I might even punch said friend a few times.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/10/2022 12:27

SlurpSlooChortle · 15/10/2022 11:41

I'm going to smear my fingers on every window (both sides).

Good idea. Fake tan and face cream handprints me.

I forgot to mention, wipe my nose on DD’s legs when I have a cold like little kids do. I suppose to be fair, I should also do the nice things that she used to do when little. Maybe I could get a head start with that… Like go up to her and randomly kiss her a couple of times on her shoulder, back, maybe demand a kiss on the lips, preferably in public. No 14 yo would object to that now would they? <cackle>

potatoes4all · 15/10/2022 12:31

I shall:

  • take at least 7 showers a day, leaving all my clothes in a heap on the (wet) floor. I will keep adding to this growing clothes mountain until they crack and put it in the washing machine and, the second the wash begins, I will shout that I NEED something from said pile NOW.
  • decide to cook a 4-course meal at 1am, using every pot and pan, and leave it all for someone else to wash up. Obviously I shan't wipe the sides down either or put anything away or in the bin.
  • bring random "friends" home from a night out and sleep on the sofa but not tell anyone so they get a shock when they walk downstairs in their underwear.
  • leave a bra in every room
  • take their make up, use it on their bed and leave it there, without the lids on
  • take every single fork and hide it in bags/under sofa cushions/etc...so they are forced to eat dinner with a spoon and buy more.

There are so many more, teenagers are a special treat! In fact, I'm going to stay in DS's new student flat soon, so may try at least one of these 😂

Mangolist · 15/10/2022 12:32

Use four towels for one shower and then put them all in the wash basket; heap my clothes up all over the chair in her room (youngest daughter) mixing dirty with clean, and then when they get in too much of a muddle, go back round and put evrything in the wash basket.
Never ever dust,his room 'browse' the fridge, Show him 'funny' things on my phone and say 'you won't get this' (middle son)

Lulu1919 · 15/10/2022 12:33

Turn the heating up as high as it will go walk around I'm shorts n t shirts
Leave one sheet of loo paper on the roll ...just so I don't have to change it
Raid their fridge and cupboards and take anything I fancy home with me

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2022 12:34

forlornlorna1 · 15/10/2022 10:44

Lol I love these 😂

I haven't done these things to my grown up children. But I did once go to my daughters house and put new batteries in my grandkids noisy toys. I knew she took them out of the most annoying toys lol

Oh my god - flashback. My MIL did this to me. I am 99% sure there was no malice intended and she thought she was being genuinely helpful… Hmm

whatthefunkisgoingon · 15/10/2022 12:34

Put some fresh clothes on, decide I want to wear something else so dump said clothes in the wash.

Spend 30 minutes in the shower, pour a whole bottle of shower gel down the plug hole and not actually clean myself with it. Dump wet towel on the bed, obviously.

Drink all of the milk and eat all of the bread an hour after they’ve been food shopping for the week.

Use anything - literally ANYTHING - and dump it where I’ve finished with it rather than putting it away. Then kick off when I’m asked to put it away.

Moan incessantly about being bored when I’ve got a tv, games console, iPad and mobile phone in my bedroom.

Mangolist · 15/10/2022 12:34

Oh, and obviously, have boyfriend arrive at random hours, cook everything they possess and make as much noise as possible getting upsatirs (youngest daughter). Next day say 'we WERE going to wash up this morning' after having emerged at 11am

Wotrewelookinat · 15/10/2022 12:35

I will text to ask them to pick me up from a friends house asap at 11pm just when they were hoping to go to bed, fail to give the address and studiously ignore all follow up texts and attempts at phone calls to establish exact location. Then blame it on my phone being ‘out of charge’ despite being able to use Snapchat.

JudgeJ · 15/10/2022 12:36

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2022 10:19

Scatter frozen chips and nuggets in the bottom of freezer draws.

Oh! This is a good one. I’ll leave the empty nugget packets, though.

Use the last of something and put the empty packet or box back into the fridge or freezer.

ivykaty44 · 15/10/2022 12:38

my children are grown up

I go and eat their goodies...

JudgeJ · 15/10/2022 12:38

Dustingdemon · 15/10/2022 10:26

Glitter - I'm going to drop glitter all over the house in little bits that they'll be finding for years.

Tiny bits of paper everywhere too.

Run grubby hands on the walls up the stairs.

And one sticky finger print on the tv.

And stick stickers on windows.

I'll mix the first and last, I will spray glittery pictures of snowmen etc onto the windows at Christmas, good luck on getting those off 100%.

LeeHarper5 · 15/10/2022 12:40

Nag them to make me a drink then cry and wail that it’s in the wrong colour cup.
Fill their trouser pockets with gravel, twigs, soil and leaves.
Leave kinetic sand on their lovely light laminate and watch as it stains a lovely shade of purple. Put 10 hot wheels cars down the loo then flush. Use an entire bottle of shampoo to make a bubble bath.
Have a shower, draw multiple c**k and balls in the condensation on the shower screen for them to see when they next have a shower.
Cut my toenails in the living room leaving the cuttings on the footstool.
Fill their lounge with Lego models and insist they are left to gather dust for a gazillion weeks.
Take one bite out of all their apples and chuck them in the bin.
Lick all the icing from their cup cakes and leave the cake.

bakehimawaytoys · 15/10/2022 12:40

Wait until the first forkful of dinner is about to go in their mouth then announce that I've done a poo and need them to wipe my bum.

TimBoothseyes · 15/10/2022 12:41

ivykaty44 · 15/10/2022 12:38

my children are grown up

I go and eat their goodies...

Not just me then 😅. I also text DD from her spare room asking if she's making a brew and could she make me one as well, oh and to bring it into me because walking 18 steps from the spare room to the living room is just too much. 😂

strangelyenough · 15/10/2022 12:41

Go into the cupboard and get their favourite special treat down day biscuits, eat them, leave the packaging on the counter and then when they ask who ate them......lie and say it wasn't me!!

Open all the bottles of fizzy juice and put the cap back on but not close it properly so the juice goes flat.

Every single time I have a glass of anything spill it and just leave the spill.

Blocked · 15/10/2022 12:41

When they make me dinner I will say 'I don't like that' and after they've coaxed me a bit I'll spit it out, whinge and ask for plain pasta. I will then eat two bits before declaring myself full and then inform them I'm hungry again just as we are about to begin the descent upstairs to bed.

YouOKHun · 15/10/2022 12:43

I will stack the dishwasher with dirty crockery in the most inefficient way possible. I will only do this once a year but I will be pointing out how much I contribute based on that rare occasion. That rare stacking of the dishwasher will only happen because I am about to ask for money for the bus or to soften the blow when I confess I’ve lost my trainers again. I will find my trainers within 24 hours of my children grudgingly buying me a new pair.

I will also make it my job to hide all teaspoons and put empty packets back in the fridge. I will open their fridge door, look at the full shelves and declare in exasperated tones that there is nothing to eat.

And obviously I will be throwing my pants about instead of putting them in the laundry basket next to me so that when my children move house they will find removal company employers gingerly picking up cobwebby pants they’ve found behind the wardrobe and asking if they should be packed and moved to the new house 🙄

PopcornChewingGum · 15/10/2022 12:45

Open three jars each of of peanut butter, mayonnaise and jam, and take a couple of spoonfuls out of each. Leave all 9 jars in the fridge.

2pinkginsplease · 15/10/2022 12:45

Im going to stand at the living room window and press my hands and nose all over the window then Im going to walk in the house, throw my jacket and bag on their couch, flip onto the couch myself, take my shoes off and leave them on the rug then run and stomp as fast as I can while running up the stairs and leave everything at my arse!

yeah that sounds about right! 😂😂

badassbaby · 15/10/2022 12:45

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 15/10/2022 12:26

Ask if my friend can come with me and pick the most obnoxious, rude person I know to come, we'll turn up, jump up and down on the couch then have a massive fall out. I might even punch said friend a few times.

😂