When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

Leave a pork pie in a mug under their bed for so long that it goes completely green and turns to dust

Wait until my children are in the middle of Hostage Negotiations, or Tightrope Walking Across The Niagra, and stroll in complaining loudly about a spot. Then say, 'What am I going to Doooooooo?'

Actually a good point, mine have never been in my home.

They couldnt if they wanted too as its completely inaccessible (on a steep hill with uneven moss covered concreat steps, sharp narrow turns and even more steps... so many steps) and my parents are both physically disabled so wouldnt be able to get up the steps.

Stuff banana peels in their good suitcase, buckle myself on top, and shout “GO AWAY!” every time I’m in the slightest need of a poo and a bit cross about it.

I will have a face like a slapped arse for no reason at all, shout “just stop will you” at whatever is said to them, and generally act utterly inconvenienced by every thing anyone else does, no matter what it is. And then demand takeaway/to go to something/some more clothes/some more makeup.

I’m going to walk through the front door, dump my shoes in the middle of the hallway, take my coat of and just drop it there. Leave my clothes lying all around the bedroom floor, as well as the living room. Use stuff and then just leave it there never cleaning or tidying up. Essentially a constant stream of clothes lying around everywhere.

Eat food and never throw empty away, - someone else will do it.

leave dirty plates and cups lying around the place, oh yes, and also plates under the bed. Etc etc

I’m going to go round their house and have a shower with my boyfriend in the bath which obviously is only able to hold one therefore making water pour through the ceiling.

im going to be last in bed and leave the front door unlocked.

im going to be the last to leave for work and leave said front door unlocked ALL day.

im going to say I’m going to shave my (insert whatever hairy item here ) go and do it and leave all the trimmings down the plug

im going to get my teeth straightened with a brace involving many trips to the orthodontist. Then after a year not bother with my retainer so my teeth move.

I will make them feed me dinner, then stuff a few bits of it down the back of the radiator when they aren’t looking.
I will start shouting rude words like wee wee and willies when they have friends round.

Leave huge shoes in the most inconvenient trippy place and walk past the empty coatrack and put my huge bag and huge coat on the kitchen table

steam up bath\shower room and draw huge boobs n nipples ,that willy\balls on window/mirrors/ showerscreen when conditioner(please-let me believe its conditioner ok) on hands\drawing finger

I added to this thread and see so many of us have the same untidy, careless DCs. The bit I am mulling over is that I would not have dared do this when I lived at home. I was always scared of getting into trouble. Not only were all used clothes put in the clothes basket, bedrooms tidy adnbeds made, but we were expected to do all sorts of chores just as a matter of course. Laying the table, drying up and putting away, dusting, hoovering, ironing.. Only thing I ever got paid for was wasjhing the car, and the money very rarely appeared!
So my thought is - how did we raise this generation of (often nice and friendly) slackers?

I will lock the front door like I’ve been asked to when I’m the last to leave the house, at the same time leaving the back door wide open after deciding the cat must be brought inside. Then get angry when I’m told anyone could have walked in and insist it wasn’t me that left it open

Ooh another…
go to bed and lock the front door (even though they’ve said they’ll be home late) locking them out. Then sleep through the phone ringing, door bell, dog barking for 30 mins before letting them in!
Then be really arsey and cross at having to get up.
Yes this role reversal did happen to us after a night out 😂

I will arrive with a suitcase full of clean clothes. I will then dirty them by wearing them, rolling around in the garden and wiping my hands down them while I’m eating (eating with my hands, obviously, even though cutlery has been provided).

Then, even though I have more clean clothes in the suitcase and my children are frequently running the washing machine and happy to do a load for me, I will hide my dirty clothes back in the suitcase, wear them again and then look confused when my children ask why I’m wearing filthy clothing.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Best thread!!!!!!!

Sit on the toilet with a kindle and headphones in, listening to to music. For an hour…..

Take straightners round to their house and burn their bedroom carpets.

Get wasted and vomit on the most recently bought carpet.

Order a massive takeaway say it's on me and then realise I've left my card at home.

Invite some of my friends over and keep them up all night whilst we converse, giggle and scream.

Block their toilet with babywipes and deny it was me 😈

Get wasted and vomit on the most recently bought carpet.

We had that with DS. DH got him up at 7.30 am, and told him, if he didn’t get it clean, he could pay for a new one!

Or because they couldn't be bothered to put it away and 'there is NO STORAGE IN MY ROOM' despite the fact that nothing is ever put away anyway. I would leave a pile of my 'clean' clothes next to the washing basket with my dirty underwear still inside my trousers! Even 21 yr old DD!
If I was invited to eat I would answer the question about meal preference with 'whatever' or 'anything' and then proceed to tell them I didn't eat what they had made as I am now pescatarian/vegetarian/vegan/on a juice cleanse/detox/macrobiotic diet/on the vision diet or the clip your nose while you eat diet (honestly...it's real).😂

Cry over a small scratch on my finger or my knee demanding a plaster and life saving first aid to then take said plaster off and stick it to the carpet and then demand another plaster because the first one was too girly and i'm a boy so i need a boy plaster 😫

Stick something dark in the washing machine when i can blatantly see there are all whites in there and say sorry, I forgot with an unbothered face! 💀💀💀

Leaving trucks, cars and random bits of lego on the stairs even though the rule is not to play on the stairs and then laugh and giggle uncontrolably when they stub their toe or step on the corner of a lego or try to save themselves from falling over only to show more concern for the toys than them!! 😃😃

Sit on my arse and not lift a finger to help anyone else in the house even though I'm a capable adult because 'I am not a maid'.
Grrr

Wait until they are asleep then I'm going to stand beside their bed in the dark, declaring my eyes have broken or won't work so I can't sleep. Or my nightlight stopped working, or I need a drink, or I am cold, hot, hungry, tired, not tired.

I'll leave clothes all over my room then complain it's messy. Complain I can't find my PE skirt which is in the pile on the floor.

Complain my iPad ran out of charge hours ago and I now want to play on it but it's not been charged because I didn't plug it in or tell anyone.

Have a massive end of the world tantrum because they want me to wear my blue pants but I want to wear the red ones which are in the wash.

Ah this resonates! Another MOB here.

You’ve reminded me of another one. I’d wait for a rainy day so the sleeves of my coat are really wet (a shiny anorakky type one), then take it off leaving the sleeves inside out, then make them help me put it back on so they have to put their arm inside the wet sleeves to turn them the right way again. Although the revenge doesn’t really work unless it’s every flipping day for about 5 years.

I will scatter loom bands and hair bobbles liberally around my DDs house.

I will also do excessive amounts of baking and clear up very badly, so she has to go through all her cupboards, find all the baking equipment and re-wash it herself.