When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

Spinkle lego on the floor in most rooms
Take some festering sweaty sports kit and ask if I can have it ready to wear in half an hour
Leave bag/sports equipment in the middle of the kitchen
Take off my shoes and leave as a trip hazard in the most used doorway and put several pairs of socks under the sofa.

I'm going to put my dirty laundry on the floor and complain I've no clothes 😂
Draw on the walls
Leave packets ect in the sofa.
Make a mess and pretend I dont know who's done it 😂😂

This thread is hilarious !
I only have a 19mo at the moment so I know I have all this to come 😂😂😂

Although I do have a husband and some of these are ringing many bells for me 🤔

@Cantseethewindows

these threads should come with warning for those who are only in the pre school stage. It's not fair to traumatise them!!

it's funny reading them all & seeing what stage of parenting people are obviously in!

Claim to be unable to find objects that are where they always are.

Scream and make them kill spiders.

Randomly drink 4 pints of milk so there isn't any left for a cup of tea.

Get drunk and wee up the bathroom wall (that'll be a challenge as I'm the only female, but I'll try)

For the bathroom alone, I'm going to open every bottle of shampoo and conditioner, squeeze them so it runs down the sides and then leave them on every available surface.

I'm going to do the same with the toothpaste too, and if they keep spare toothbrushes in stick, I'll open them all, use them once and spread them around.

I'll write in the steamy mirror but then smear it off with toothpastey hands.

I'll spit toothpaste in the sink and not rinse it and as for the toilet, we'll things are about to get really grim!!!!

Use as many pots as are in the kitchen to make a meal but not wash them up.

My DH does this quite regularly, it drives me insane!

Have a row with my partner at 2am, followed by loud enthusiastic sex at 3am.

get dressed for the day by taking all the clothes out of the cupboards and leaving them on the floor!

Leave a much treasured item in an unknown location and bawl my eyes out until someone finds it.

Forget to flush the loo, constantly

Whine incessantly that I don't like x item of food even though I troughed it down happily last week.

I'm going to say " it's so cold in here " even when it's not , every meal will be " bogging" the settee will be " uncomfortable " and the towels will be " crap"

I'll snack till dinner time then say I'm not hungry
I'll leave on every light , boil the kettle 4 times before I get around to making a tea , leave the back door open then have the dog up on the new couch , I'll turn up unexpectedly

Oh so many more ...
😂 love them really

Oh God I'm not ready for this parenting!!

I will go round, go upstairs for 6 hours, then, when they have settled down with a big glass of wine to watch the rain through the windows, I will tell them I need a lift to the other side of town to meet my friends. I will HAVE to go, now, although I won’t be exactly sure where I am meeting my friends. I will definitely need a lift home but not sure when I can’t ring my friends and check how/ when they are getting home because oh my God that’s so embarrassing nobody calls and anyway I don’t have their phone numbers. Why would I?? That’s so dead.

Leave crumbs everywhere!

I’m going to spend every second in front of a screen, ignore all attempts to engage me in conversation and then throw a fit because they haven’t spent any time with me.

Ill also interrupt an important Zoom meeting to ask if they can find the charger for my phone, and then huff when they kick me out of the room.

Lol

Leave crumbs and food on their sofa
Splash water all over the bathroom
Eat all their food within a day of going shopping
Leave random bits of paper all over the house
Run into their room at the crack of dawn and stand on them
Continually disturb them while they are in the bath
Shout on them 300 times in one hour
Use all their toilet roll
Sit on them, lean on them, dig my feet into them
Follow them around the house
Leave all their cupboard doors open
Leave their front door wide open

Take down 2 plates, 1 bowl and assortment of cutlery after its been in my room a day or so.
Drink ALL of the fruit shoot type drinks and bring my mates round to have some too!
Act incredibly possessive of my Bedroom

eat something in the cupboard (eg biscuits) but leave the last one and then arrange the packet so that it still looks full.

Spray toothpasty spit over their bathroom mirrors on purpose (which is what it looks like they have done every day!).

Complain that the meal they've made for me is DISGUSTING and going to MAKE ME DIE OF A BAD TUMMY

Water down their vodka.
Smear mascara into any new carpets.
Have a party when they go out, so the neighbours have to ring them at 4am in their hotel about the noise.
Get tattoos(big ones) but keep them secret

I'm not going to shut the fridge or freezer door properly. I'm going to just let them close themselves magically behind me. I'm going to do this very late at night so that by morning, when someone else notices, the freezer has been working overdrive and is so iced up the door won't shut properly. I'm going to bring weed into the house, even though they'll repeatedly ask me not to and I'll deny everything, even though the pungent smell of weed will be a dead giveaway. I'm also going to vape secretly in the bedroom, again, even though they'll ask me not to. I'm also going to act totally helpless and lose all ability to change a toilet roll, wash up, empty bins, use the washing machine etc whilst at the same time be clever enough to stay up gaming all night and ill have a sarcastic, cocky answer every time someone tries to make polite conversation with me. I can't wait!

Shove empty crisp packets down the side of the armchair cushions so when they actually get round to cleaning there's about 150 of the buggars down there 🤣🤣

Insist on them watching every single episode of Strictly with me, but then chat with other people on WhatsApp or watch YouTube videos on my phone throughout and barely glance at the TV.