When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

So funny had this so many times they were too busy on there phones.

Loving this thread , I'd take all the cups and plates upstairs leaving half eaten burgers etc on plates maybe half a burger under the bed or on top of wardrobe for good measure ( seriously) crisp packets down back or side of sofa and empty cartons or packets in fridge , can't wait lol

Oh forgot the drawing on furniture with permanent marker 🤣

Also watch either a film on tv or at the cinema and constantly ask “who’s that?” “ what are they doing ?” All the way through said film. ORRRR if they’ve already seen said film with other parent tell you what’s going to happen 🥳

Draw on the walls, chairs, floors cushions

Use a clean cup/mug for every drink.
Make a sandwich and leave the knife on the side and the butter out.
"Forget" to close the lid on the toothpaste

demand they turn it off as me and my three mates want to watch YouTube videos of animated marble runs
🤣 had to Google this ! No idea it was a thing 🤣

Leave the lights on when it’s glorious sunshine outside.

Put the heater on and leave the doors and windows open.

Forget to close the fridge door….what possesses someone to do that?!?!

Make myself a sandwich and leave the lid off the butter, not wipe the crumbs off the side and walk around eating it without a plate.

I could continue but I’d be here all day 🤣

Scatter lots of hard, pointy belongings all over their sofas so they can’t sit down without moving them, and repeat very regularly.

I'm going to come to their house for tea, sit down at the table and say "yuck, I'm NOT eating that" cry then make a vague attempt to eat it followed by dramatic heaving sounds... I will then get up and leave 😂..... I have already told my teens that this will be happening in the future...

Say " Is that it?" scornfully when they cook for me.

I'm going to bake a cake - a really involved one that involves roasting then pureeing pumpkin, making the batter, making frosting and a praline sprinkle (that also involves roasting then blending) - then leave every last bit of clearing up to them. (It was good cake though!)

Only half tidy up after myself and when they asked why I’ve left a mess I’m going to look straight through my mess like it doesn’t exist and use all my willpower in to making them think it also does not exist.

I’m also going to draw doodles with toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror during each bathroom trip opportunity and then deny it was me when questioned like some sort of fluoride Banksy.

catch the bus in the wrong direction then phone in a panic asking what to do or even better ask where I am, describe it and expect them to know.

Yes, we had this - phone call to ask

”What shall I do? I didn’t make it to the door in time and missed my stop. I have gone to the end of the route. I don’t know where I am?”

We were a 3.5 hours drive away and didn’t know where they were either! We told DC to cross the road, and look for the stop for the same bus, going back!

Ask what’s for dinner, and when they reply, make an anguished howling/groaning noise.

Not flush the toilet, leave empty tiloliet roll tubes all over bathroom floor, go out of my way to make sure all socks are odd, spill juice and leave it because "I forgot to clean it" walk up stairs with muddy shoes because "I'm just gonna be 2secs" have all week to get football kits ready but then announce at the last second that I need it right now.

I could definitely go on and on

Helpfully walk the dog then let it back in the house with no attempt made to clean muddy feet. Look amazed and dumbfounded when the trail of paw prints over the carpet and up onto the furniture is pointed out. Then ask for my dog walking money.

@BrimFire 😭

leave empty packets in the cupboard/fridge
leave wet towels on the floor
leave 'stuff' in the 'dishwasher zone'
Talk very loudly on my phone at silly o'clock
get some glitter and leave it e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
Have a bite out some fruit and leave the rest
treat all clothes as dirty even if i've just tried them on

I bloody love this thread.

Don't worry you will actually see them more than you think as the holidays are so different from school. Plus they will probably FaceTime you when they are drunk to say they miss you - and introduce you to all their friends who are also really drunk and shout "Hello MiniWeBuilt's Mum!!" from across their lounge at 7 million decibels. This will be at 2am after you've just got to sleep, so you feel guilty for being pissed off as you're actually pleased they rung. It doesn't matter anyway as you won't go back to sleep as you'll be worrying if they will sleep on their side to make sure they're not sick in their sleep. You'll also be worrying about naked flames after seeing all the candles and a bong in their lounge.

Also, just when you start to really properly appreciate all the peace and freedom and everything in the house saying where you left it, especially mugs and towels, they'll be back to stay for weeks on end and really annoy you again 

@lemoncurdling different generations didn’t necessarily have the same freedoms - obviously baby and toddler stage is probably similar, though less waking up to watch children’s shows as they weren’t on!

Thank you so much for all your contributions on this thread, I have laughed until I've cried. Shared experiences of teenage self-centredness always makes me feel better because it makes me realise how many other parents are standing there, like me, in confusion at the "Kevin" (Harry Enfield) behaviour from sons and daughters around the country. I'm going to leave a trail of worn socks around the house like an Easter Bunny Hunt without chocolate at the end.

Wait until they have a toddler asleep and they're on the loo then bang on the bathroom door and call something out. They will say that they can't hear me over the extractor fan so I will call louder. This will escalate until I will get down on the floor to be able to speak under the door (in a loud voice). It will turn out to be something that absolutely did not need to be urgently communicated.

If they make food which is in any imaginable way healthy, hide under the table as soon as I see it.

If they may food which is unhealthy, remark scornfully that it is only my third favourite. And then eat it at a rate of one bite every 10 minutes. Every 15 minutes if we were planning to go out afterwards.

Lull them into a false sense of security by cheerfully doing domestic tasks, unprompted, on Days 1 and 2 of my visit. Day 3: release armageddon when asked to do anything, with only discernible phrases "so unfair" "why do I have to do CHORES" etc.

Wake them up at 6am on the weekend. But lie in till 9am on weekdays.