When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

Stand up at family party and tell their inlaws how much they don't like them and when they try to shush me I'll shreik "but you DID say Linda's a cow. I heard you!"

Have a very full steamy bath, splash around so 65% of it is on the floor and then, when challenged, shout "BUT I'M BEING A MERMAID"

Decide my name is : Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Charlotte, Florence or Beatrice but not tell anyone and then refuse to answer to anything else. Keep em guessing!

Develop random age-inappropriate obsessions, like oooh I dunno, the current PM, and ask to watch videos of that as a condition of going to bed, brushing teeth etc.

Refuse to eat, sleep, bathe unless I am holding a specific, totemic object with no instrinsic value, like an old coffee scoop, broken comb etc. Treat this object with gay abandon and unconcern all day - lose it at least 5 times - but then insist I cannot possibly go to the loo unless I am holding it.

Help clean their house by carefully washing all the powerpoints with a sopping wet rag that is in fact their best face cloth.

Totally ignore them when they come home but cling around their ankles when they are going out
, saying things like "why do you HAVE to go to work" and "I won't get dressed if you leave". Bonus points if they are already late. Recover as soon as they get out the door and wave cheerily from a window.

And then make it apparent it was really the binman or NDN cat I was waving at, as I have, in fact, already forgotten their existence.

Re baths, I’ll step out of the bath and leave the water because “it makes no difference” of leaving a full bath with dirty water.

I shall have an imaginary friend called "Dave" who is a kitten and yell "YOU'RE STANDING ON DAVE" every time anybody (whether I'm related to them or not), dares come within 3 feet of me and leave them to explain to their bemused friends who Dave is.

Another one id forgotten

Wake her up several times a night because all my cuddly toys are not in the correct order in my bed

@bashual - when I did my child care degree in higher education (after high school), my teacher told us about when her 5 year old asked her what s-e-x is whilst she was navigating the freeway! She said she nearly crashed the car, lol!

She later ascertained that the word in that context (on a school form) meant 'gender!' :p

Buy them lots of noisy toys for the young children and/or pets! ;)

I’ll scatter all my snacks onto your Egyptian cotton white sheets and scoff em face first. Chocolate, skittles, crisps,wotsits. A nice melange of colour and texture all over the bed. Finally,when politely asked what I’m doing I’ll look at the kids like they’re the most stoopid people alive and answer really slowly I am eating like a fox

I'm going to go out and leave the front door wide open, just to make it easier for burglars. Then I'm going to say it's not my fault when they are burgled and can't claim on the insurance because the door was left open.

Play video games really loud after they go to bed.

My Dad did that to me the first time he came to my house

Take the clean, ironed clothes out of my wardrobe, store crumpled on floor for a week, then put in the laundry basket. Then repeat.

stay in the shower for a minimum of 30 minutes.

I only have a 19mo at the moment so if I'm going off the 'here and now' I will go in the kitchen and tip the dogs full water bowl up all over the lino.
Then I will go into the bathroom and unravel a whole toilet roll into the hallway and living room.
Then I'll go upstairs and tip mums makeup bag up, might even through her eyeliner down the loo.
Then I'm going to give DS a big hug but secretly wipe my snot all over his fresh shirt before he goes to work.
Then after they've hoovered, I'll eat a messy biscuit and leave all my crumbs in the shaggy rug in the living room
😁

Throw*

Based on her behaviour today.

I'll look after her when she is ill
Cook her dinner

❤️

I think I've got your child's twin living here. Feel free to reclaim him whenever😂

@Cantseethewindows 😂😂😂
We love it really don't we 🥰🙈😂

Did anyone do
walk in from school/work and state your starving as you haven’t had breakfast or lunch then proceed to eat something big and declare your not hungry when a full cooked meal in put in front of you 21/2 hours later.
steal their makeup, hairdryer, hairbrush, shower cap, hair towels.
Borrow their towel because you’ve left yours wet on the floor in your room.
not put lids on products and leave them on their side so they drip out onto whatever surface/carpet they are near.
Leave rubbish near the bin, not in the bin.
leave plates near the dishwasher, not in the dishwasher, unless they are in the bedroom in which case leave them to fester.
take all the glasses/forks or spoons to my room and swear there isn’t any in my room it was your brother/sister who used them.
stay in my pjs all day.
Destroy their kitchen trying some TikTok food trend.
walk around in underwear/just joggers/skimpy clothing and expect the heating to be put on because you’re cold, and balk at the idea of putting a jumper on.
throw them 1 item of clothing that you “need” cleaning/drying for tomorrow at 10.30pm.
seems I have a lot of gripes!

I would take a massive poo in the toilet then not flush! I might wee on the seat and a little down the wall too.
I'll also take my trousers off and leave them inside out with my pants still attached to the outside them as them to put them in the wash.
I'll also sit on their lap to give them a hug and do a hugh fart and then run away laughing.
Can you tell I'm the mum of boys?

Just told my mum about this thread 😂
She said ohhhh If it were me I'd put that I would go to my DD house, sit and eat a big meal then just go without offering to wash up 🫢😳🤣

I will say I'm not feeling well and lie on the sofa playing Fortnite all day demanding snacks.

When I go my eldest dc house, I will offer to cook dinner, leave 3 months worth of washing in various piles (not sorted into the laundry basket), drink all the expensive wine, not the cheap stuff as I've got discerning tastebuds apparently 😬🤔! Go out all night , sleep all day, let my friends stay over in the spare room and not tell anyone. So everyone gets a huge shock in the morning.

Go out at 11.00 pm without telling them and not come home till 4 am!

This actually made me LOL 😂

Sprinkle false eyelashes all over the floor, wipe my lipstick on tissues and throw them on down too, take every phone charger in their house and leave them at my friend’s house. Be sweary and rude then ask for money!