I will insist on coming with you to the toilet, you thought you were sneaking off for a quiet poo and a look at your phone, don't be stupid, I WANT your attention NOW!
Compliment you loudly for the wee you have done in the toilet then ask why you have a hairy foof in the loo at Asda, while the other stall occupants snigger. Try to open the door before you pull your trousers up so everyone can see your hairy foof.
Existential questions while trying to drive the car, scream if you are being murdered if you don't answer immediately even though you are trying to navigate a busy roundabout.
Slip piles of crap into shopping trolley, and then make huge fuss at checkout because you are a horrible mummy who tries to put stuff back.
Steal sweets from corner shop and have to listen to why it is wrong to steal sweets etc while sobbing loudly with snot dripping out of your face.
Go through your handbag and whatever is in there of interest, say tissues, drinks, sweets or handcream, declare it yours and throw a strop when trying to stop you from hiding bank cards, cash etc.
Fart on you at random intervals 'because I love you'.
Cry lots when you are told to not to do something in mummy's work eg taking the bin bags out, demand to speak to everyone in mummy's work and then go into the loo in mummy's work as it's a new place to pee in, tell everyone what you did in the toilet and expect compliments.
Hog the bed and snore while sleeping on top of mummy as you can't be apart from her, wobble mummy's boobies prefably in public even though we are far too old for breastfeeding and try to flip them over mummy's shoulders when she isn't wearing a bra even though they don't go that way and mummy is threatening you that she will take all your money from birthday, Christmas or any other event and pay for new boobies/hip replacement etc.
Toss all sofa cushions around the room, use as stepping stones, eat only chicken nuggets for dinner and generally act like a twat at all times.