When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

Look after their babies, let my kids rest. Be as present as needed. Tidy, cook and be the best gran I can be.

Take myself off up the stairs for a bath that uses up all the hot water while yelling "what's for tea?"

I’ll frequently and excitedly announce a piece of news they already know, as if they aren’t aware.

”guess who’s the new PM”

a week after the actual event

I confess to not having read all 18pp but why do you all assume you'll be allowed in your children's homes in years to come?

I only get to go to my grown children's homes to feed their animals.

Yes it is sad.

@MassiveSalad22 so when your parents visit you as an adult in your own home you expect them to do your housework for you ?! Even worse you expect them to 'use their initiative' to do this .

No words.

But out of interest - and thinking of all the interfering MIL threads - do you expect the same from your partner's parents ?

@BellaTheDarkOverlord to be fair to the kids it’s DH who eats half a chocolate and puts it back in the box “in case anyone else wants it”.

Ohhh first things first, open their favourite crisps, eat a third, pour the rest on the carpet then stamp on them. Cushions will be thrown on the floor, if they're picked up I will throw them back on the floor before lying on them. Ask for my favourite meal, eat one mouthful then demand chocolate. Take over the TV all day. Steal his things and scream mine. Pull the plants out of his garden. Fill the toilet with loo roll. Eat something messy before rubbing my dirty fingers on every single surface. Stand in front of him and wave while he hoovers.
Then I'll get scrubbed up, ask for a story before pulling him in for a hug which makes all the above not matter in the slightest. Then I'll sleep soundly while he cleans it all up.

Pee on them.....

Mother of 4 month old baby boy 🤣

Wipe bogies on the wall, cry and shout as soon as they are on a phone call. Shove my crap wrappers behind the sofa, throw my coat on the floor when I walk in. Turn out the laundry basket all over the bedroom floor. Go for a poo and miss the toilet with the wiped on tissue paper and leave it on the floor. Leave drinks in cups for weeks in the bedroom, shave my legs over the bathroom sink and leave all the hair there. 😂

Sleep in their room and make it messy
Eat food all over their desks (if they have one)
'accidentally' spill orange juice on the carpeting

I'm going to pick my nose and wipe it on... anything. Literally anything.

Watch YouTube videos loudly while sitting next to them on the sofa while they’re trying to watch TV then tell them very boring ‘did you knows?’ from aforementioned videos.

Take all the shoes and scatter them liberally across the house.

Insist they play a board game with me and lose my shit/cry/storm off/all three if I lose.

Shout ‘DS2’. Stop. Wait for ‘yes?’. Then ask questions or better yet, just shout ‘I’m hungry’.

Demand to know what’s for dinner then say ‘Oh I didn’t really fancy that tonight’.

Wake them up every night by screaming the house down and then insist that they carry me while walking up and down.

Fling food in all four directions and then expect them to praise my aim.

Throw random stuff down their toilets.

I'm going to take a long shower and slather my hair with conditioner . Then I'm going to leave a film of conditioner on the shower tray so it's slippier than an ice rink. I'm going into their bedroom to dry my hair and flick water droplets on the mirror and leave the wet towel on their bed. And I'm going to pull the hair off the brush and throw it out the window so it sticks to the conservatory roof below. And I'm going to deny it's my hair.

when travelling by car, I will hand them a sweet wrapper, an apple core, a banana skin or an empty sandwich package at regular intervals.

This cracked me up, both of mine do this, like I have a secret bin in the front of the car!

Some of these are so funny.
I'll make them iron my clothes and instead of putting them way I'll leave them on the floor and walk over them. I'll throw dirty socks behind cupboards. I'll pour a massive bowl of cereal and cover it with milk, but I'll only eat half of it, the rest I'll leave on the side to congeal all day. I'll use a clean glass to get a drink every half hour, even if I haven't finished the last one, and I'll leave glasses all over the house. I'll use their razors to shave my legs and leave hair and soap scum all around the bath. I'll leave crisp packets and sweet wrappers wherever I please. I'll say I'm hungry every hour on the hour but I'll reject every suggestion of snack or meal, saying "there's no food in this house" even if there is.

@Whistlesandbell - yep, this!

Love the difference in stories from wiping bogies off the wall to swiping vodka from the freezer😄

I'd screech to get their attention, leave half my dinner on the floor then do an enormous poo in their toilet and go home without flushing it.

Lord, this thread cheered me up no end with kids still at home! So glad to hear I'm not alone in dealing with all sorts of, um, shit, even from adult kids!

But I think I might be passive/aggressive and pointedly dust shelves, do the washing up, hoover (at midnight?), move ornaments, rehang pictures straight, and leave loos swimming in bleach...

Can't wait

When I was a baby/toddler I didn't sleep a full night til I was 3 and often used to sleep less than 4 hours at a time. I remember growing up, my mum used to often say "when you grow up and have kids I'm going to come round,and if your kids sleep all night I'll pinch them to wake them up so you know how it feels!" As it turned out my DD was a shit sleeper as well, and didn't sleep a whole night til she was at school....but my mum was absolutely besotted with her, and felt quite mortified when I reminded her what she used to tell me!😂
Similarly when DD used to wake me every night, I used to imagine all the ways I might wake her when she was a teenager - banging saucepans, loud music, wet flannels etc.....but now she is a teen and I couldn't do it. She looks beautiful when she's sleeping and if I ever have to wake her up I do it gently (although she hates that as well! ) as opposed to DH who shouts and pulls the blind up.

When they’re having a supposedly discreet little romantic moment I’ll shout ‘wait for me’ and run over and insert myself in between them 😂.
But mostly I’ll be getting something out to play with/look at/abandon every ten minutes until all my stuff is everywhere yet somehow when they ask me to tidy up, I won’t be able to see anything that needs to be tidied up!

I shall fake tan my bottom and sit on their toilet for 30 mins watching tiktoks...then get off and admire the now-orange seat

I will lie in a stale fart filled bedroom until 4pm and then moan about the roast dinner inconveniencing my afternoon.

I will wait until you put the washing out before producing my skanky 2 week old used underwear.

I will leave all electrical appliances on unnecessarily when you freeze to save money.

I will order lots of bougie shit to take insta pics of before I leave them strewn across the house for the rest of their useful life.

I will fall out with any friend the moment you remember their name.

take all the books off the book shelf and throw on the floor, remove every cushion from the lounge and make bridges to run over and constantly demand snacks.

also nibble every apple in the fruit bowl and leave at random places around the house.