When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

I'll solemnly promise to walk a puppy and take it to puppy training lessons and discipline it and do all the right stuff but just sit and cuddle it while I go on mumsnet for hours on my phone .

I'm going to leave crumbs over the floor. My hoody in a really random place so I can't find it when I need to leave. My sweet wrappers all round the house, my empty glass next to the computer where hopefully it'll stay for a few days. I will riffle through my drawers like a mad man looking for some clothes and leave it all in a mess. I will leave my shoes in the hallway so someone can trip over them. I Will leave my dressing gown strewn on across the floor. And that's just for starters.

Bring home friends at 11:30pm when everyone is asleep. Laugh loudly and then say “shhhhhhh” numerous times in a stage whisper. All greet and cuddle dog really loudly. Whip up numerous snacks and meals without cleaning up what had been a clean kitchen. Dump large amounts of laundry in hallway, invite friends to do the same. Watch horror movies until 6am. All sleep in the family room surrounded by empty cans, crockery and wrappers.

Complain that they are too loud when they get up for work and make tea.

😂😂😩

Pick my nose and wipe the bogeys on the wall. Looking at you DS1!

Whine loudly and inconsolably that I’m huuuungry but decline all food I’m offered

Eat all the yoghurts and leave the pots tipped over in a sludgy mess on the table with an individual spoon in every one of the six pots

Eat all the delicious snacks they’ve hidden then leave the wrappers lying around like a memento

Climb Into bed between them & their partner shouting “huuuug. Want huuuuggs”

Leave buttery crumbs on the worktops and sticky handprints on the cupboards

Oh wow, I have had the locked bathroom door but thankfully no police involved😁

You’re my role model! Except for the last para as absolutely no defence needed 😂

Turn the lights on in the middle of the night and complain it's too light to sleep, demand my favourite food then refuse to eat it, leave socks everywhere, leave hand prints and tongue marks on their clean windows, put cereal between the sofa cushions.... oh, the list is endless!!

Haha, love this thread.

Insist on sleeping in their bed. Beg for hot water bottle as I still won't be warm enough.

Tell them to get a better job every time they say they can’t afford something.

Close all the curtains and put the lights on in broad daylight.

Raid the snack cupboard every 30 seconds and leave all the wrappers in various places around the house.

Take all their clothes that I like into my room and refuse to give them back.

Yes, yes, definitely the bed.

Hide things I do not wish to deal with in a cupboard or two. Let them grow mould and attract beasts.

Leave only 5 or 6 chips in frozen chip bag. Not enough to make a fucking meal. Tbf that's DH. The bastard.

DD, ask for a hot chocolate with milk hot water and marshmallows. Then say I don't like it without trying it.

When I'm going out in "their" coat, which I will refuse to take off, and they ask me where I am going, I will reply "nowhere" and if they ask me what I am going out to do, I will respond "nothing". If probed further for a destination, I will scream at them "just out". I might add "God !" just to show how unreasonable they are for asking.

I will buy them a huge slab of Hotel Chocolat chocolate for their birthday and present it to them proudly.

When they are not looking, I will drag a chair over and reach the high up kitchen cupboard where they have put this birthday chocolate slab. I will then take the chocolate and eat over a third of it.

When I hear my DC suddenly coming down the stairs, I will hide the chocolate behind their living room curtains.

When my DC's puppy finds the chocolate slab and drags it up the stairs and onto the first floor landing where it is found by my DC, I will swear blind that I have no idea how that came to be.

I will be all wide-eyed and suggest that yes, maybe the dog did actually manage to climb onto the kitchen counters, stretch up twice her length to reach the cupboard door, open the cupboard, retrieve the chocolate and get back down again.

Only when my DC sit me down and solemnly say how concerned about how much chocolate the dog ate and may have to take them to the emergency vets will I confess.

@BellaTheDarkOverlord I shall one up you by getting up for midnight snacks and eating loads of cereal but leave just enough in the packet for a third of a bowl for one person the next morning and put it back in the cupboard.

Take all my clothes off inside out and leave them on the floor, whilst splitting up pairs of socks and placing them about 5 miles apart with no chance of ever being paired up again 😑

Put a pair of dirty football boots on and stamp on their kitchen floor to get the mud off and put tissues in the washing machine - early on a weekend morning!

Hide a half eaten mango in the middle of a pile of freshly ironed clothes...

put their car keys in the toy box and yes to eating/using the last one of anything and putting the empty packet back into the cupboard.

Actually this explains a lot of everyone’s in-laws’ behaviour…

Open parcels and leave the packaging on the sofa
Drop wrappers to snacks anywhere I please
Leave the back door open to heat the garden
Block up the shower trap with hair/labels/gunge so it overflows and pours into the kitchen
Leave one sheet of loo roll
when the bin is full, balance rubbish on top of the lid
spill milk and not wipe it up
put tuppaware next to the toaster and melt it when I make toast
Have an enormous smelly poo and not think of opening a window or using a brush!

Eat all their nice biscuits and leave the empty box in the cupboard so they feel like crying when they go to get one to have with their tea

I certainly will not answer an easy direct question with a direct answer.
I will make the process a long, drawn out affair.