When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

I’ll make sure my hands are filthy and then touch all the paintwork.

Passive-aggressively bring cleaning products round “in case you don’t have them”. I have a cupboard full Mum, what I don’t have is time to use them when I am at work 50 hours a week and ferrying a five year old to activities at the weekend. Be grateful there is food in the fridge.

Walk in with bags, backpacks, sports equipment, sundry other objects, immediately dump in the entrance so it’s hard to move in and out of the house. Invite five friends and all discard shoes randomly around entrance plus all their backpacks, bags etc.

Stand randomly around that house and shout their name at the top of my lungs, non stop until they respond.

Get in the shower and then get out dripping water over the bathroom and yell for a towel. If none is offered, walk naked through house to bedroom leaving wet footmarks on carpet.

Yes!! Payback of the finger and handprints EVERYWHERE!!! Genius! This i MUST do too!!
Including going upstairs with my muddy wellies on, using an entire bottle of bubble bath for ONE bath and using one entire tube of toothpaste for my pearly whites, THEN i'm going to not dry my feet properly and make bubbly wet foot prints together with the mud all over the landing leading to my room where I would have left all of my muddy football gear on top of my bag on the floor before jumping on the PC with my mates speaking at volume 250 so my sons can hear me through the ceiling shouting "GOOAALLL" !! 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 I canny waittt!!!

I will wake them up approximately 30 minutes before they expect me to be awake. I will knock on their door and run away repeatedly until they get out of bed and make me a warm drink.

The warm drink will just be the first of multiple requests I will make before they provide me with breakfast. These will definitely include a request to join them when they are showering.

Pee on their bed, their pillow and them at 2 am.

Sit drinking coffee whilst laughing st them moaning about their children doing all the things they used to do.

Open a new jar of jam every day so they end up with 6 open ones. Turn the heating up to 22 degrees and open the windows. Do my washing on the wettest day possible. Leave it in the machine until late evening. Start tumble drying it at 11pm, with the window open.

The drink bit 😂😂😂😂 omg spot on

Oooh I love this thread ... I shall be leaving all the doors open, whilst ramping up the heating and dropping my dirty shoes and wet coat on the floor.

I'll wind up the dog and definitely not be walking it, or feeding it or letting it out until I've been asked at least 27 consecutive times.

I'll be leaving a good proportion of any meal cooked for me, but then raiding all fridges and cupboards, leaving things out, emptying containers and packets and liberally leaving crumbs and leftovers everywhere ... not to mention empty cups, dishes, plates and dirty cutlery wherever the hell I like!

Oh my goodness I could go on forever .........

Get every shoe I own and put them at the front door, back door, hall and living room and then scream where are my shoes …. What have you done with them?

Raid all the cupboards and leave all the empty wrappers all over the floor/side/chairs/bed/basically all over the house

Spend all my money on crap and then ask them to pay my bills...

Leave clothes in carefully organized stages of cleanliness draped all over my room.

Ignore the alarm and continue sleeping so I miss a ride to work and have to be driven there.

Get "sick" at work and have to be picked up. Come home and make a great big poop and then feel just fine.

@Icantfindmykeys so true. I will beg them for an essential item that I MUST HAVE IMMEDIATELY such as under eye concealer. Lose it in the house after using it once. Keep accusing them of putting it somewhere. After 4 days find object. Never acknowledge finding it or apologize for being suspicious.

I will sit upstairs with headphones on and ignore everything they say meaning they have to shout at the top of their voices to get any response!

Put clean and even clean and folded laundry back into laundry basket with dirty clothes.

Preferably within 24 hrs.

Put the wrong thing in the recycling bin.

Lock myself in the bathroom by turning the key and be totally unable to unlock it again. Have a mini melt down because daddy has to leave to catch a plane and mummy can't help. Wait until kind policeman finds a ladder to climb to the roof to try to break through the velux window. Then unlock the door and come out....

I'll do a huge poo and block the toilet, then refuse to open the window to let the stench out, as I can't touch the blind or the toilet window because it's 'full of poo germs'.

Oh I forgot after they have hoovered and cleaned the entire house I’m going to a 4G football pitch and stuff black rubber bits inside every bit of clothing. When I get home I’m going to take bits of clothing off in every room scattering black bits everywhere. When they have cleaned it up I will leave surprise inside out football socks in the wash, so when they are dry and turned in the right way they’ll get another sprinkle!

I'm going to leave every single drawer and cupboard door open, just because I feel like it.

Half an hour before dinner, I'm going to graze around the kitchen nibbling crisps, fruit & toast and then declare I'm too full to eat dinner.

I will insist to my last breath that toast constitutes a full meal.

I'll suddenly decide to discuss my contraception choices as the waiter arrives to take our order.

Leave empty toilet rolls on top of the toilet, put a wet towel on a dry one. Eat a bowl of porridge and then wait forever to wash it, it won't be really clean but I'll still put it back in the press.

Best thread ever

leave sticky finger marks on everything