When I go to my children's houses when they're grown up I'm going to

[Dustingdemon]

Put a nearly empty milk bottle back in the fridge.
Turn on all the lights in the house and leave.
Tell them at 10pm that I need something desperately for the next day that they have absolutely no way of getting in time.

Your turn.

Have a screaming tantrum because I want the pink cup. Refuse any meal with foods that are touching each other. Not bring any underwear, just help myself to theirs. Take their phone charger with me when leaving.

Hide all the scissors and sellotape!! Cut up cardboard boxes and leave the unused bits over the floor.
Ask them random, unanswerable questions whilst they're watching their favorite show, ramble on about Stranger Things fandom like the characters are messiahs... and ask for Lego sets 24 hours of the day.

I’m going to allow them to cook a fabulous meal for me, then I’ll eat one mouthful, announce that I’m full, then 10 minutes after dinner has been disposed off I’m going to demand a snack.

I'm going to let them get their baby to sleep, then I’m going to sneak onto the landing and shout “MUMMMYYYYYY” at the top of my voice - I shall do this only at my eldests house 😂

I’m going to find every wire that they own and twist and lick them until they stop working.

I like reading the responses to guess what age kids everyone has 😂

Use at least 4 towels after I’ve taken a shower or bath and leave the soaking wet towels everywhere. Try on an outfit, take off the clean outfit and then place the clean outfit in the washing basket.

Sit on the sofa yelling 'I'm hungry' then complain about any snack offered.

Run around screaming at bedtime and then ask for another snack just as lights go out.

Come out and ask for homework help while she’s cooking tea. For something I’ve already been told 72859 times. And walk past another person on the way.

Announce at 10pm that I need an international monument in cake form by 8am the next day. And then scream and cry when they can’t/won’t deliver

Mine are only 5 years and the youngest 3 months but this is hilarious. All I can add is, demanding a packed lunch instead of school dinner just as we're getting our shoes on to leave for school/get out the door, and insisting that x item isn't where they say it probably is, insist that they help me search for it only to discover that it is exactly where they said it would be... and leave toys strewn across every surface in every room, obvs.

Leave all the cupboard doors and drawers open.

Sometimes I feel like I am in the film The Sixth Sense when the mum walks into the kitchen and every single cupboard door is open.

I'll give one word answers all day then want a long chat about my day just as they sit down to watch their favourite programme.

I shall also announce that I've only had my lunch at 5pm when they say it's time for dinner at 7pm (This will also mean that when i go and stay at my kid's houses, I'll stay in bed until at least 12pm so I can have breakfast at 1pm and lunch at 5pm)

Wipe snot all over their sofa, sofa cushions, and their dressing gown

Ask them to bring me something I left downstairs the minute I hear them come back upstairs. Get really huffy if they suggest I too have legs and can walk downstairs.

Don’t forget to eat some chicken drumsticks upstairs and leave the bones under the bed, open a tin of beans and eat them all except ONE bean, which remains in the tin you put in the fridge, then pick your nose and wipe the bogies on the wall

Yes!!!

The crashing sound of the upturned Lego crate still haunts me decades later.

I’m going to do everything that is mentioned on this thread. Mwahahahaha.

Ignore the hand towel in favour of drying my hands on the leg of their jeans.

Kick my shoes off in the hallway and leave them where they land.
Take socks off and sqish them down the side of the sofa.
Bang mud off football boots on front path & leave it there.

As a visiting aunt:

I'm going to 'announce' a nano-second before I need to leave for a night out that I need an advance on my allowance because Mum 'owes' me. I will use a tone that simultaneously implies urgency is required, this is an expectation and non-negotiable, but thank you and you're lovely.

I will sit on the sofa and call out over and over that the dog wants a wee. I won't get up off my arse and walk a dozen steps to open the door myself because then I'll be responsible for making sure I do this in reverse to let the dog back in and it might affect my game/score. I will use the same tone I use to such good effect when I am older.

Do we share the same 7year old??? lol

Take her mascara , foundation, blusher and then deny any knowledge of ever seeing it.
Cook a meal, use every utensil I can find , leave the kitchen looking like it's been ram raided and say I'll wash up later .

Use loo roll like I have shares in Andrex.

Leave clementine peel in little piles everywhere.

Leave empty snack wrappings everywhere.

Go through about 10 glasses or mugs a day and leave them all in my bedroom.

This is so my life just now

At my daughter's I will have a 20 minute shower whilst shouting at full volume to my friend on speakerphone. I will not open the window to let out any steam, BUT I will accidentally leave the shower curtain hanging on the outside of the bath, and liberally splash that and all of the tiles with purple shampoo, use all of the towels to soak up the water on the floor, then leave them in a pile to fester. I will sit on the bedroom floor to do my makeup, so there is a lovely mixture of liquids and powders all over the carpet. I will roll my eyes and say "God, it's only a bit of makeup, it'll come out easily", when questioned. I will then ask for a lift, and ask to be picked up later "probably around 11.30pm, so she can't have the wine she has been looking forward to all week. I will then ignore all texts asking for an exact location and time for pick up and wait until she gives up and goes to bed before texting at 1.30am and asking her to collect me immediately. I will then make her take 3 other friends home who live in all four corners of the town. When we finally get home at 2.15am I will make a cheese and ham toastie and a cup of tea, and go to bed leaving the fridge door open and all of the lights on.

At my son's, I will wait for him to go to work and then when he is on the tube with no signal will text frantically "Do you know where my trousers are?", then "Where is my door key?", then "Have you seen my laptop?", then "What homework do I have to hand in today?", then "Do I have any white socks for PE?", then "The cat has been sick on the stairs, what shall I do?". When he finally exits the tube and gets 15 of these messages, I will refuse to answer the phone when he calls, and remain incommunicado for the rest of the day. Plus I will eat my bodyweight in expensive granola on an hourly basis, using all of the milk.

Burn the carpet with hair straighteners

I forgot about an early years one - constantly wipe my snotty nose on their shoulders or sleeves.

Pick my noser and wipe the results on the wall near my bed that the duvet hides, so when changing the bed they'll discover the Museum Of My Bogeys