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Original poster

Posting for traffic - what do I do? Husband not come home

178 replies

ColdduckOddfish · 14/10/2022 17:26

DH and DC not come home. He was picking them up from after school club. Should have been back an hour ago. His phone is going straight to voicemail. I’m an anxious person anyway, but when would you panic?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 14/10/2022 20:10

KendrickLamaze · 14/10/2022 20:06

@girlmom21 so does it happen in any car? Mine knows as soon as I get in my car and my watch seems to know where I'm going and tells me journey time. Assumed it was because it was connected as doesn't happen as a passenger in other peoples cars.

Yeah it happens in any car. You can just press 'I'm not driving' and it lets you access your phone as normal

BigFatLiar · 14/10/2022 20:11

KendrickLamaze · 14/10/2022 20:06

@girlmom21 so does it happen in any car? Mine knows as soon as I get in my car and my watch seems to know where I'm going and tells me journey time. Assumed it was because it was connected as doesn't happen as a passenger in other peoples cars.

Not in ours, we drive old cars where you twiddle the knobs for the radio.

butterfliedtwo · 14/10/2022 20:18

Glad he's back safely.

ThirtyThreeTrees · 14/10/2022 20:24

ColdduckOddfish · 14/10/2022 19:55

Yes DH was apologetic but also slightly perplexed with how upset I was when he got home. Definitely need to work on anxiety!

@ColdduckOddfish I think you need to give yourself a break on this one. I don't suffer from anxiety thankfully but reading your post, I thought 99% certain it's probably a car breakdown or stuck behind a traffic accident but there was part of my that was worried for you too.

An 8 minute journey taking over an hour, uncontactable, children there too and his mood hasn't been great recently. I would have been worried too. Mildly but still worried.

Glad everything worked out.

MiniRobin · 14/10/2022 20:30

phew! Glad everything ok

chocolatebuttoneyez · 14/10/2022 20:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BobLobIaw · 14/10/2022 20:59

I'm glad he's home.and all are safe.
I'd have been worried too.

billy1966 · 14/10/2022 21:01

Great update. Wishing you well.

NoGoodUsernamee · 14/10/2022 21:49

OP can you give us some information here so we can report for you? To womens aid or your local GP? I don’t know… we can help you. Give us some information?

NoGoodUsernamee · 14/10/2022 21:50

sorry wrong thread

WTF475878237NC · 14/10/2022 22:52

Seriously I think you're joking but this level of anxiety after an hour is something you won't help but pass onto your kids. Self refer to IAPT. For their sake. It isn't healthy. In a healthy secure adult mind you would assume the best such as he's gone to the shops, to get something to eat, bumped into a friend so taken them to the park. An anxious mind goes to a darker (he's not happy about the pregnancy) place. What happens to us in childhood and the level of stress and anxiety we are around has lifelong consequences.

I'm glad all was well.

Isthisexpected · 14/10/2022 22:53

He was an hour late when you posted!

Novum · 15/10/2022 00:46

KendrickLamaze · 14/10/2022 20:06

@girlmom21 so does it happen in any car? Mine knows as soon as I get in my car and my watch seems to know where I'm going and tells me journey time. Assumed it was because it was connected as doesn't happen as a passenger in other peoples cars.

Yes, it does. When I travel by bus or train, my phone asks me accusingly whether I'm driving before it will let me use it.

LikeTearsInRain · 15/10/2022 00:49

Have the kids verified his story?

girlmom21 · 15/10/2022 06:25

LikeTearsInRain · 15/10/2022 00:49

Have the kids verified his story?

Are you seriously claiming he's lied about his car breaking down?

startfresh · 15/10/2022 06:56

I can't believe all the people saying you need to work on anxiety. I have worked on mine but over an hour late for an 8 min drive and no way to be contactable - I would have been on a state!

Glad all is ok OP

charabang · 15/10/2022 07:20

If I had broken down I'd have phoned my partner to let them know. Don't let him tell you you're the unreasonable one. Does his breakdown story check out? I'd be very suspicious.

threegoodthings · 15/10/2022 07:55

startfresh · 15/10/2022 06:56

I can't believe all the people saying you need to work on anxiety. I have worked on mine but over an hour late for an 8 min drive and no way to be contactable - I would have been on a state!

Glad all is ok OP

Me neither. Would all these posters really not care in this scenario? They must have pretty unreliable rubbish thoughtless DHs to see it as normal imo.

BigFatLiar · 15/10/2022 08:10

charabang · 15/10/2022 07:20

If I had broken down I'd have phoned my partner to let them know. Don't let him tell you you're the unreasonable one. Does his breakdown story check out? I'd be very suspicious.

I doubt he was taking his kids to meet another woman.

He didn't have his phone and public phones are almost non existent these days. If I didn't have my phone I'd have problems calling OH as I don't know the number of his mobile, its stored so I don't need to remember it.

Choccolocko · 15/10/2022 08:35

threegoodthings · 15/10/2022 07:55

Me neither. Would all these posters really not care in this scenario? They must have pretty unreliable rubbish thoughtless DHs to see it as normal imo.

Show quote history

It’s not about caring it’s about putting things in perspective and not catastrophising a fairly normal occurance

startfresh · 15/10/2022 08:57

I wouldn't say over an hour on an 8 minute journey when the OP has said her husband is reliable and always tells her of detours, is a normal occurrence.

threegoodthings · 15/10/2022 09:08

Choccolocko · 15/10/2022 08:35

It’s not about caring it’s about putting things in perspective and not catastrophising a fairly normal occurance

Show quote history

But that's exactly what I mean - for most people this wouldn't be a normal occurrence. Because if a DH was going to be an hour late he would let his wife know. Those who see it as a normal occurrence for people to be randomly late with no contact have rubbish DHs.

Cornettoninja · 15/10/2022 09:12

startfresh · 15/10/2022 08:57

I wouldn't say over an hour on an 8 minute journey when the OP has said her husband is reliable and always tells her of detours, is a normal occurrence.

Me either. The OP’s anxiety might have started earlier than others but as time goes on most people would start worrying. If anything, she did well to not act on anxieties and start ringing hospitals/police. I probably would have given he had dc with him.

In this case I think her reaction was reasonable and possibly forced her to under-react. I don’t think I could have lasted that long just waiting.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 15/10/2022 12:09

girlmom21 · 15/10/2022 06:25

Are you seriously claiming he's lied about his car breaking down?

Show quote history

You have to admit it is slightly odd, no phone, broke down in the supermarket, how did he contabct someone to come and fix the car and how did it get fixed so quickly

I've never had the RAC reason so fast.

What did he do with the children while waiting?

No harm in checking it out

Original poster
ColdduckOddfish · 15/10/2022 12:51

Just to clarify - he definitely did break down. Kids were very excited about the whole thing. It didn’t seem like a major problem with car - it needed jump starting and someone helped him with that. I am still feeling annoyed this morning, partly because I think if DH wasn’t feeling low about the pregnancy he would normally have found a way of letting me know. I don’t know if that’s paranoia or not though. Our relationship is in a difficult place

OP posts: