Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

Wow speechless!!! 🤬🤬🤬 I actually can't believe you have the nerve to write this OP. Some of us could only dream of the enormous income that you and your husband have!!!
Yet you still claim poverty!!!!
Utterly speechless 🤬

make cut backs were you can look at changing energy supplier sell things no longer needed or used change where you grocery shop batch cook or meal plan and only buy whats needed you will be surprised at what you can save maybe invest in a slow cooker

This.

MN should make it that no-one should be able to post until all the OPs posts have been displayed on the device they are using for at least one minute.

People claim they don't have time to read the OPs posts, which is clearly bollocks when they have time to post something that doesn't make sense when the thread has moved on, which it usually has on threads this long.

I'm glad you had a chat with your twatish husband.
Marriage should be 50:50,of childcare,house care,and of the joint income!
Does this mean that you have total oversight of spending now and that money for things for your children are a joint expenditure now?
You still need a budget so that you can spot and frittering of money then maybe you could jointly save for your future or start junior ISAs for your children.
Are you ok though in yourself?

Fucking hell get a grip. People are on the breadline here and can't pay for their next meal.

Come down a peg or two.

I am a carer for my autistic son and I get less than £1000 a month to pay for everything including rent. I think you’ll be fine.

I hate all these comments comparing OP to their own situation.

anxiety is horrible and it’s not a choice and she apologised in the OP. Just because she is on paper better off than many doesn’t mean she isn’t scared!

Would you tell someone with a migraine to get over themselves because you have a brain tumour?

You might have far less, but don’t have a mental health problem! Or maybe you have a decent spouse! Maybe you are better at budgeting. OP is here for help, why rip her to shreds?

And im glad she has posted as so often with these threads, the real issue is not what was first asked.

Stop comparing and either stay silent or be supportive.

I don’t know anything about zakat. Google just tells me it’s 2.5% of wealth over £300 odd. Would you feel better or worse if you paid less?

I wish people would read too.
In Mumsnet terms, she has an OH problem not a money problem!

I’d feel worse, that charity in that amount is obligatory for me. It’s the original welfare state tax (that’s the best way to think about it) there’s some complexity around it, you have had it for a year, it can’t be marked for something else, can’t be In lieu of paying a debt. There’s a base amont too, can’t recall what, it’s more than 300, that’s basically personal allowance. Long story short it’s not a tremendous amount of money, and to le that’s a non negotiable. Obviously if I was going to lose my home or fall into poverty I’m pretty sure I’d be exempt.

Think I have both

700 quid spare and 40k in savings. Wow.. how terrible 😂

Having read the whole thread and now understanding you're both Muslim I think you need to speak to your family and Imam for backup. Your husband has a religious duty to support his wife and children. You are expected to contribute also but having basic needs met is actually religiously his responsibility as a father. I am sure you know this too.

So this latest "no you cannot pay less even though you earn less as marriage is 50:50" is wrong on many levels of course but it sounds like he's the kind of man who won't listen to you but would listen to a male authority. So it being wrong Islamically may be the level that reaches him. So perhaps seek support from your family and wider community on this.

I do think you're anxiety is contributing here but also not having full view of bills and all incoming and outgoing. A joint account is needed.

Sounds like good advice.

Eugh I meant "your anxiety", not "you're anxiety". Sorry! I'm sure folks could make sense of it though.

He’s not arsed. I’ve told him that I’m not obligated to contribute anything at all, and all that I do is charity (sadaqah), he knows that it’s actually his responsibility to cover all of mine and our kids basic expenses and pay all of our housing, food, bills etc. He wouldn’t go to an imam. Even if he did, ive know women who’s husbands have been selling their property behind their back, stealing and with prostitutes and the advice was ‘brother you should pay, and sister you should be Patient’ those kind of men just pay lip service

It really seems like the problems in your marriage are much deeper than just the current anxiety due to rate rises.

You started this thread worried you could lose your house (I'm with all the people who think that is insensitive and hyperbolic - sorry. I'm a much lower earner and some of the financials shared here have made me roll my eyes), could you reframe this now as the time that showed you the possibility of giving up this house and working towards your house.

You have £40k of your own money. Divorce happens and owning a smaller home on your own with your (ex?) husband paying child support is a viable option for you. Your own salary is not poor and your mat leave is almost over.

You have a good salary and are sensible with money yourself. You have so much more options for freedom, security and stability than many women can dream of. You have to take control of your own life.

Also just as always on Mumsnet got to say "find out everything" and you know usual "get your ducks in a row". A sister when divorcing her husband found details of all his land in a non UK country both their families are originally from and used this in negotiations to ensure she kept the house as she had contributed more to the deposit but he was pushing for sale and 50/50 split. Her arguement was she wasn't pushing for half of this land but she could do if needed and so he agreed a split of assets that was better for her as she kept the family home. Her family were pushing her to let it go and not fight him as it was all bad enough but she stuck to her guns. She kept her family home and now owns a second one so has great security for her children. When you have the wealth you do, the good job, your options are vast. You sometimes cannot see that though.

On the question of reading all of someone’s posts before commenting, I would choose to do that but it’s a premium feature.
The other option of reading every post in a thread is not always worth the time investment when the thread is very long.

@Twiglets1 I do not have premium and I can still filter on just OP's posts.

Can't filter on any other poster, just OP.

This is in the app, don't know about the main site.

I can’t do it - I read Mumsnet on my phone and it always says it’s a premium feature 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ve just seen how to do it just for the OPs posts so thanks @Aria999

I genuinely didn’t realise you could do it before so that may be the case with other posters too, which may help to explain why so many people don’t “bother” reading all the OPs posts 😬

@Twiglets1

On the app you just got into any thread, press the icon at the top right that looks a bit like a funnel and you can select OP's username to read all their posts.

Anyone can do that, it's only selecting non-OP usernames that is a premium feature.

Sorry cross posted @Twiglets1

Yeah it is a pretty hidden feature, not very clearly signposted to people user experience wise so I see how it exists unnoticed!

Hope this is not culturally insensitive but could you pause giving to charity if you become financially constrained - just for a short period of time while you are paying such high nursery fees?