Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

@Annoyingkidsmusic why would you say that? You do realise that some people have £4 left at the end of the month, other people have £2000 and some people have way way more than that. There’s all walks of life on the planet and online- I don’t see why you’d think it’s a wind-up. I expect actually quite a lot of women on ‘decent’ household incomes are in the situation where DH doesn’t contribute enough and the woman pays more for things like childcare, kids stuff, clothing etc. Don’t be so dismissive x

You have been given a bit of a bashing due to amount you earn , what you have in savings (tho know that’s to pay the loan off or mortgage be even more) and have £700 spare - which is more then many have

sounds like dh spends extra on top ups and biscuits etx. Not needed

you do have things you can cancel if really have to - insurances

ans you have rounded things up so again have some extra a month

you won’t lose your home

and £17 a day in food seems way over the top and greedy of nursery

assume dc is now 3 but obv 30hrs is term after they are 3 so she will start school sept 24 is that right ?

so childcare costs will go down a bit then as well

So your actual problem is the fact that you have a husband who is bad with money (he had debts despite being a high earner, you had savings despite earning less) and is at best selfish, at worst financially abusive.

Do not give up the counselling.

Read this thread and think yourself lucky!

I don’t have enough money for food for the rest of the month 37
Tiredasamf · Today 07:28
I know there’s lots of threads about this at the moment. But what the hell is going on. What is the world coming to. I’m stressing out!
we’ve lived quite comfortably for the last few years - not wealthy at all, working class family (total income of around £2,700 a month after tax) but have always been able to afford all bills, food, clothes etc for the kids and always done 1-2 days out a month, and been able to save a little.
with the rising costs of everything we are now in a situation where we’re struggling.
as of today, I don’t have enough money for the food shops for the rest of the month. Bills are all paid and there shouldn’t be any extra expenses this month. It’s just food shops and petrol left
we’re literally going to have to eat beans on toast or other things equally as cheap.
if it’s going to be like this every month I don’t know what we’ll do. How are we going to afford Christmas? No more days out, no more fun things, no treats, no new clothes (kids are young and grow so fast so that’s a necessity that we can’t even afford now)
It’s set to get worse too isn’t it. what the hell? What are you doing to save money or cut costs? Please give me all your advice

You have plenty of money left over! Relax!

Regarding help to buy- we bought out ours last year ago however I looked into the options. For us if we had kept it past 5 years we would have been paying back 1.7% interest, which would increase slightly each year.
If that’s still the same it’s a really good deal, and surely if interest rates are say 4% next December you can just keep the help to buy loan at 1.7%, and pay an extra 40k off your mortgage. You’ll save about £3,200 yearly on repayments (half interest, half capital) and it will cost you £680/year.
Put the extra somewhere it’s making you lots of interest, and if / when the HTB interest overtakes the available mortgage rate then is the time to pay it off.

This might not be much consolation but I know it would have helped me...

We lost our home this summer. Two years ago, when my disabled child was 10, he needed full time care so I left my job.

We sank into debt and eventually, had to sell up and use 50% of the equity to get debt free.

We are now in rented. The rent is astronomical but we are supplementing it with some of the left over equity.

I never thought this would happen to us but I also never though we would have a severely disabled child.

I can't change what happened but it's ok. Nobody died.

OP, I don't think you need to worry. Be cautious, but there's nothing to spiral about (and I know about spiralling).

However, as PP have said: why aren't all earnings paid into a joint account? Marriage means that everything is shared. Whatever you and your husband do now in terms of you paying for X and him paying for Y: if you split up, it won't matter a single shit who paid for what. Everything will be regarded as part of the joint pot. This is the one reason to get married in the first place. Why carry on with a financial farce of acting as if you were not actually married, when you are?

I just don't get this.

💐

That App is a subscription of about £12 a month.

Go on moneysavingexpert for free templates and advice. You shouldn't need to pay a penny to budget and track your income and outgoings.

No! Marriage is not 50/50 it’s a team!

All money is family money and all “chores” are family chores.

It's very clear over the course of the thread that the biggest issue you have is marital imbalance and potentially financial and psychological abuse. Your husband is gaslighting you by saying marriage should be 50/50 to carry on with the situation as it is, with him holding the financial power (no bills in your name). He's holding you hostage, as years progress, and the marriage gets longer, he will get worse. You need to step back and think about what you personally have financially contributed to the family, and then think about what you would have if the marriage breaks down. Absolutely DO NOT pay your 40k savings into the mortgage as that is your security against future possibilities. So many women who thought their marriages were sound have the financial rug pulled away from under them, don't be one of them, be smart and always cover yourself for that eventuality.
As for him covering the house whilst you were on first maternity leave, so he should! He literally signed on for better or worse yet is trying to make you feel guilty for earning less while carrying and caring for his child!!! Honestly, I think you have far bigger worries than losing your house. With 40k you can pay 2 years rental outright if necessary.

My husband and I have always had a joint account even all the years I was working part time or not at all. It’s because I was caring for our children which is unpaid work but just as important as paid work to him and me. This is a conversation more women need to have with their partners as it’s unfair in an equal relationship for one to have significantly more money to spend than the other.

This thread is not about the cost of living crises, but about a husband who is a greedy pig who does not pay his fair share into the household bills.

How old are the kids? Fix mortgage until then, after that you will have lots of extra when kids start school. Hang in there...

It's remarkable to see the number of people who don't read the thread.

As a matter of routine, it's always worth reading all posts by the OP before posting even if you don't read the entire thread.

Its a lot more helpful.

God there is so many people struggling isn’t there.and I know it’s not allowed on here but hope everyone is ok today.and get some breathing space or moment of okayness this week.

Oh love.

First a hug. I’m one of those you’re worried you might offend but it’d take an empathy vacuum to not understanding that you’re scared and that’s a horrid place to be.

You obviously need to speak to good financial advisors asap, around the HTB / cost issues.

The rest though- you’ll be OK. Plenty of families have £700 for everything after rent, they survive and so will you. It’ll be a learning curve but you’re more than able for it. You have time to prep- get clothes with a bit more wear in them and a bit more growth for example, do swaps with friends etc: and remember their growth really does slow with age (until you hit the teen boy stage anyway!).

Easy things like asking people for memberships for gifts at celebrations can keep
life fun, we make sure we get petrol etc at Tesco and use our Clubcard points like that. You’ll work it out and you will be fine.

Hi OP,
I have read some of the discussion and all of your posts. Whats missing is a simple income outcome budget.

This is what I remember if I am rememering rightly:

Take home
You: 2.2k husband: 2.9k = 5.1k total

Outgoings:
Childcare approx 2200
Mortgage 1500
Private health 200
Income protection 200
Utilities 200
Council tax 200

This is £4500 so far with
Water, tv, phones, food, fuel, car maintenance and MOTs, home maintenance, birthdays, christmas and holidays to go.

Is that right?
I think you need to look into paying the interest only minimum on the help to buy and using your 40k to supplement your income for a while. E.g. 40 months of a grand or 80 months of £500.

It doesn't look like your husband is swimming in money from these figures. In fact I would check he isn't running up debt and trying to protect you from that fact.

You need to get through these years of high childcare costs and high mortgage costs. This is your rainy day. When your kids are both in school your childcare will probaby be £1200 or more cheaper and you will have that money available.

Do either you or your husband or both have any flexitime options to cut a day at nursery e.g. if you could each work compressed 4 days so only needed nursery for 3?

You will need to get a good handle on your budget and watch mortgage rates nearer to your fix ending so you know what amount you can manage in the short term including using up your savings.

Don't borrow your parents pension. The fact it is their pension suggests they are not wealthy and your finances look like you will struggle to pay them back.

You need to be looking at when will childcare fall substancially i.e. school and can you bridge the gap.

You don't know your help to buy options - you need to find out.

Wow

Actually speechless that someone with £700 spare a month and £40k in savings has even written this to be honest 😳

I think you’ve realised your set-up is not ok. I don’t know how anyone could sit and see their wife and child struggle while they were spending what they want.

there is a large wage gap between me and my husband. Our finances are fully pooled and he was the one who insisted on it.

I’m not sure if this is a helpful thought: Some those who are reading this thread and painfully aware of the OPs relative affluence and good fortune might wonder ‘Why is this person so anxious?’

I believe they are and I’m not convinced that the anxiety is simply a personal failing, an ‘entitled’ husband or inability to do the sums.

How is it that someone in the top whatever % of wealth and income feels so insecure about the future?

We are all being ‘nudged’ whether deliberately or not by wealthy and powerful forces that are convincing us that there isn’t enough to go around and coming down hard on the climate, non wealthy people, vulnerable people, non productive people, human rights etc is the only way to give ourselves and our children a good life. I believe this is flawed reasoning benefitting only the extremely wealthy and ultimately not even them.

I think the OP might feel a lot better if she made a commitment to donate £1000 (or £100 per month) to a food bank. If she and her husband can’t afford to do it who can?

In my experience it is mostly other people with little who give generously to those with less.

Dear OP, however fortunate you are financially, anxiety -especially about losing your home - is a horrible feeling and I do sympathise. It’s not your fault we live in a society with broken safety nets. As with your health insurance I am sure you will find a way to arrange things to keep yourself and your family as safe as any of us can be in an interconnected world.

Hmm, wanted to show this part of the quote otherwise what I wrote doesn’t entirely make sense…

· 14/10/2022 14:09
Some people are literally struggling to afford to feed their kids, and you're worried that your worst case scenario of £700pcm and £40k in savings isn't enough??!
Enough for fucking what??

Some of your stuff just doesn't even make sense, with the figures you've given for your nursery fees, how is it costing you 2k a month?? And how does 30 hours only cover 2.5 days a week?! How many hours do you send your kids for a day!

I know everyone's problems are relative, but FFS, do shut up 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

If people are going to be spiteful at least read the tgread so you know what you are talking about.

Income 5.1k,
Outgoings 5.4 for example including 2.2k nursery and 1.5k mortgage
= result misery

I already give 2.5% of my taxable wealth to charity every year in zakat, DH should too. It’s an individual thing so it’s paid from our own individual wealth.