Terrified I’m going to lose my house

[Hangrysaurus]

ever since this shit show of a mini budget and the economy and mortgages spiralling into chaos, im so so worried about losing my home.

2 kids in childcare to work, will be switching providers to save but dh and I take home about 93k before tax and about 65 after (thanks student loan)

mortgage is due next late December. We have help to buy too, which comes to the end of the 5 year interest free end of next Dec too. We looked at switching when lloyds had their 3.7% rate but with the 4.5k erc it was an extra £700 per month, close to 1500, aka totally unaffordable, even the broker wasn’t sure it was a good bet.

if we pay off the htb (we have about 40k in savings for this) and depending on house value htb is about 75k, if we did this we’d need to add 30k to mortgage or borrow it from parents (although that’s the cash draw down from a pension that the government have also fucked). Then we’d have a 60% ltv provided the house price doesn’t tank too much as we lose our equity.

when we did our mortgage they stress tested to 4.5% as that was the highest rates mortgages had been in the previous 10 years. We were very comfortable in terms of affordability and we’ve done all the right things in terms of future proofing, aside from having kids. It shouldn’t be this way.

i know the banks last resort is to take the house but honestly I’m spiralling. We both recently got new jobs, a combined about 15k a year increase but it ‘only’ amounts to be 400 after tax. Will it all be ok?

(if this comes across as insensitive im really sorry don’t mean it to be)

If he wants everything to be equal then 50/50 disposable income and time to spend on self/hobbies is fair. Pay all bills, including all clothing and household items then split left over money.

Im guessing he won’t think that’s fair though.

Well it does make sense. I have 2 children currently not eligible for any free hrs in nursery full time. The nursery charge £65 a day, no childminders in the area and £65 is pretty much average.

the nursery, if she stays there, take the 30 hrs and average them out over a year which is 22, the nursery is open 10 hrs a day, so if they are in a full day (even if it’s not the 10 hrs) the nursery take that was a full day, so it’s actually 2 days and 2 hrs free and then a surcharge of £17 a day for food. No option for packed lunches. I’ll be moving the kids when 30 free hrs kicks in

at 1500, as a house hold we’d have £700 to cover, clothes, food and petrol… but most of that I have no sight of, in fact I’d be down to the line on my od.

so why don’t you shut up when you haven’t read the thread

Sorry, haven't read the full thread but might be best just paying interest on the HTB. I think it's currently 1.75% yes it increase with price inflation (plus 2%) but say, price inflation is 10% that's 1.75*1.10 = 1.925%, which is much lower than current fixed rates.

You expecting people to read 13 pages of drip fed info is as entitled as your post 😂🤷‍♀️

Downsize your house.
Get your husband to contribute a fair share and not be such a bully.
You're on Mat Leave? Keep the toddler at home with you and save the money.

You've got options. Use them.

tedious, not a drip feed, horrible moment of realisation, thanks to the thread.

im talking about childcare costs with 2 kids in nursery, ie imminent costs as my leave is pretty much finished.

downsizing is literally me not being able to afford my house, aka the point of the thread. Plus wouldn’t really be cheaper given how house prices have sharply risen in the area, and even if they fall, it’s predicted to be by max 15 (less where we live) so what we paid for a 4 bed could barely get a 3 bed for now

as to who’s a bully here, i wasn’t the one who started off with the bullying language

Your joint salary is £93K. You will be fine. More than fine. Relax.

So,OP are you feeling strong enough or angry enough(useful to see you through things)to talk to your husband and stop him using you?

£700 free and clear to spend is not bad. First thing is to see how you can save money eg cheaper foods, walking rather than driving, shop around for insurance (never give up house or content insurance), memberships etc. I used to look at charity shops, get shoes repaired, look for books there or library, just think about what you buy. If you came back tomorrow and it's gone would you be disappointed? We would take the kids to a play area for a day out with a picnic in the nice weather or pretend in the not so nice. Just look around to see what you can do to help yourself, you will be surprised.

We had the conversation in which he was a twat (see above) so I’ve cancelled all my direct debits and will only be paying 40% of all the bills when I go back to work.

OP I’ve read the whole thread and feel so sorry for ylu :( your husband sounds like a cunt

if he wants it 50/50 then everything has to be 50/50 including housework, childcare and free time. And paying off the HTB and kids clothes. His pre existing debt is his problem not joint. He also owes you half the original deposit.

However, instead and more realistically , all of both your income should go into one pot, all savings and bills including his debt and your counselling come out of it, and then you each get some ‘fun money’ if there is any spare.

It’s not fair that you have this anxiety because he is financially abusive. Why not put the two above options to him and see what he goes for

Sorry but not sorry. Our income is £18k after tax and we are behind with everything. We have prepayment meters for electric and gas which we’re here when we moved in. We’ve not got money to top up the gas currently really poorly in bed with covid and no heating so forgive me if unsympathetic

Sounds like you might feel more comfortable if you learnt some being frugal techniques.

You can get kids clothes in job lot bags at bootsales that are typically on Saturday mornings. Charity shops often have toys which are good for treats for kids

You'll be fine but there's lots of possibilities for budgeting and saving money 700 will go very far if you do

But your 4 bed will be worth more now?!? So it's you sell it for something cheaper, then it is likely that the difference between the house prices is greater than it was and you would pocket the difference..... Which is more than it was before.

It sounds like you seem to think that if house prices have risen then you won't save money when you downsize. Clearly this doesn't make sense. If this is what you mean, how do you have a "good job"?

Sounds like you might feel more comfortable if you learnt some being frugal techniques

she doesn’t need to learn frugal techniques.

her husband needs to step up and contribute fairly to the household.

she has plenty of options such as cancelling private healthcare and childrens life insurance before any sort of frugality is needed.

@Hangrysaurus ce back to see your updates - sorry to see your DH was a twat during the convo. And to say everything should be 50/50!! That’s percentages of effort/contributions not necessarily an ‘equal’ split!!! How do you feel about him? I’m not going to start saying LTB but being treated like this would make me feel disrespected and used. If it’s 50/50 doesn’t he value you as an equal? You could say that to him. Good for you reorganising you’re direct debits. I was wondering about your thread and where people think the line is for financial abuse- I mean in essence he refuses to pay his share, you are forced to make bigger contributions to the necessary household expenses than you can afford, and it traps you there because you are putting the kids and family unit first. If you say no I’m not happy accepting this, and he refuses, what then- is it just up to you to leave? Or not? For me to be honest it’s on the edge of financial abuse/financial control, especially if your contributions are paying for his debts and you’ve got no oversight on the bills etc. You know if You left him, he’d be paying his bills (just for himself, like he is today) AND he’d be contributing CM for the kids. In reality he’s not really doing that today. Wishing you the best of luck whatever path you take Xxx

Also I hope you ignore some of the shitty replies on this thread. Everyone is entitled to worry about things and post them online whatever walk of life you’re in. One last thing I thought when I reread your thread for updates - I think you should give yourself some credit for managing to balance the books for such a long time when you’ve got essentially an unsupportive DH in tow. I get the impression hes underestimated your strength actually. x

OP sounds like you’ve got room for cut backs & using disposable income if worst situation arises. I would recommend you and DH putting all of your money together, paying all of the bills incl food, childcare, car costs etc and then putting leftovers into savings and some money (equal) for both of you. All about a bit of give and take, he may earn more but once upon a time you may have, or may in the future or have put your bonuses into the family pot.

Everyone saying she’ll be fine because of joint income need to be realistic, just because people earn more than you doesn’t mean they’ll be fine, different commitments etc. Cost of living, mortgage rate increases don’t just affect lower earners or mean that because someone earns more they have no right to be worried! Rightly or wrongly, people have got large mortgages, have pushed themselves to the max and rate increases (which aren’t just a UK problem, US interest rates are at a 30 year high!) will see people NOT being able to cover repayments when remortgaging. People have a right to be worried regardless of their earnings, cost of living crisis affects those on higher wages too! Belittling people or making them feel shit because they earn more than you is crass, misguided and unnecessary. This place is like a school playground sometimes.

I have £50 in my bank account right now and there’s still two weeks left of the month. If I had £700 spare a month I’d be over the moon.

I get your lifestyle may take a hit or have to change slightly and I know that’s hard, but please see the bigger picture. You’re fine

I think this is the most absurd comment I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. OP has, not once, moaned about the childcare cost she has just stated what it is. I am astounded that from this post you've surmised that OP is a bad parent. I think you are the one who needs to get a life, and quickly!

Sorry your husband has been such a twat, and hope you manage to sort. To put things into perspective though, neither me or any of my friends own 4 bedroom houses. Not one of us and most are on professional incomes. I’m my in 50’s too, in the big scheme of things you’re very well off comparably to most people still. Pointing this out because often people live in their own little bubble. Most professional/working parents live in flats or terrace houses. Long term, I would do anything to keep hold of your house and don’t be persuaded to ‘up grade’ again to something bigger/better or you’ll be chasing your tail for years.

I would absolutely love to be in your position. We have no spare each month, no savings, we have 2 children, we both work full time and im
a student also, still need the top up of UC, still doesn’t cover all our outgoings.
24K is our annual income, this is reality for most

you’re fine

We don’t own a home, we private rent, all money goes into one account it’s not his or mine, I find it really odd when people have separate money

Why not try living for the next couple of months with the £700 and see whether you can do it?

It may mean adjusting how you spend, swapping foods and shopping etc

Meal planning with strict lists

shopping in different places for clothing for the children

Do you and your dp need clothing regularly?

Wind up merchant. No way is this a real post.

£700 a month left is absolutely enough. Christ after all my bills I’m left with nothing extra. Your life style will change that’s all.