Who taught you feminine hygiene?

[Chloefairydust]

Inspired by another thread a poster started about concern over feeling grubby as a child, it got me thinking. (And yes I was definitely a grubby child looking back, which btw no one should have to feel ashamed of, as a child your dependent on your parents for care)

Growing up I was never really taught any kind of feminine hygiene. As a young child I would often feel uncomfortable down there from lack of hygiene and I think I had a few issues with UTIs if I remember right.

I kind of taught myself the hard way as I got older, like not knowing that I shouldn’t be using normal soaps on intimate skin, and not having anyone to explain tampons properly as a teenager, or even hair removal.

I never really felt comfortable asking my mum about these things, I felt it was a bit taboo and just not something to talk about. I don’t have any children, but always thought to myself if I was to have a daughter. I would talk openly about these things, and not make her feel ashamed.

So who you taught you feminine hygiene? Did you have to teach yourself like I did? And if you have a daughter do you feel comfortable talking about these things with her?

My mother did. She was very hygiene-conscious (had trained as a nurse) and explained all about periods when I was about 8, and then how to wear period pads when I actually started periods. Back in those days you had to wear a belt with a pad attached, so definitely needed a lesson in how to hook it up! I also inherited strong BO from her so that was also talked about, how to wash effectively, check clothes and use deodorants when I was 12.

I don't have any children but I would have taught my daughter in the same way.

I'm sorry you didn't get that sort of education from your mother, OP.

My mum, who really didn’t do a great job of it. There was so much I had to find out for myself. I started very young too, at 10. 😞

No one. I had great parents but parenting in the 70s was different. I had regular baths and clean clothes, teeth brushed, hair brushed etc but no one actually discussed it or taught me as such. I can't really remember but I guess I must have just figured it out.

I come from the generation where periods and such were not openly mentioned when I was a child. All products were wrapped as anonymously as possible with no hint of contents.
When my mother explained about periods I guess I was 10, this was something totally outside my sphere of knowledge (no sisters).
When she explained that "every woman" bleeds every month my response was "What?! Even THE QUEEN?!"

My DM taught me about periods as she wasn't taught and starting them had scared her especially as she started before her older sister at 10. I think she told me as soon as she started seeing signs so about 8/9. We then had a talk about periods in school at 9 and shown pads etc. I think she also gave me deodorant. I don't remember her teaching me anything else though she did tell me she thought I was overdoing it. I was quite scared of being seen as dirty or being smelly and had issues with body and facial hair. My DSis was the opposite and feels she was quite unkempt and smelly and wishes there was more intervention. I think that was us though. I worry about my DD, if I didn't tell her to shower, wash hair etc I think she could go days without and be oblivious unless someone said something which is what I worry about as it might be someone at school.

For me, no-one, but it's had no negative effects. :) I use normal soap down there, no problem (and men's shaving gel). I'm nearly 36 (80's child). My mother didn't shave at all, I completely shave, and I haven't used tampons for years.

However, it seems your experience wasn't good so there's no harm in passing down your wisdom to the next generation.

I was given a book about periods and puberty, but no one talked to me specifically about feminine hygiene. I just sort of figured it out as I went along! I never felt grubby.

Born late 70s with loving parents.

I worked it out myself with the help of Jackie magazine.

My dm couldn't bring herself to say the word 'period' despite having five daughters, so she simply pretended the issue didn't exist.

And my school was the type that gave one session on sex ed, at 16, which basically was 'Don't, it's dirty, only for married people, will give you a baby and you'll end up working in Woolworth.'.

It would have been funny if it wasn't so grim. 😂

Oh, but there is often a "period smell" on some people. I've such a nose for it, on myself too. If we're good friends, I just let them know.

Argh I can smell this too! Can definitely tell when a friend or colleague is 'on'

Same here.

My Mum told me about periods and bought the supplies etc. We also had a whole lesson about them at school (someone fainted IIRC).
I figured out tampons for myself with the aid of the leaflet. Complete game changer they were.
Hygiene was important in our house too. No daughters to pass down any wisdom to but have told my DSs the basics.

I can smell this as well but don’t think I would have the guts to tell a friend I can smell their period 😂

When she explained that "every woman" bleeds every month my response was "What?! Even THE QUEEN?!"

😄😀

Nobody sadly, it just wasn’t talked about - I think only in recent years the “shame” has been taken away from periods/vulvas/vaginas but it’s still a work in progress. I remember getting a horrible look and the implication that I was dirty when I left blood stained underwear in the wash and blood in the toilet when I was young. I had no way of knowing what I was supposed to do. I also remember leaking through dark trousers at school because of heavy periods but not being able to talk about it to anyone.

I’ve learnt from it. I make sure I talk to my DCs openly about this and will not allow any shame to enter the conversation.

My mum, who was also an ex-nurse, had learnt too many hygiene things from her though. 😃 We haven't had intimate soap back then and I still use just normal soap all over.

Nobody. I knew that I didn’t like the way some people at school smelt though.
I always showered regularly so that I knew I didn’t smell like them!
I was surprised that they couldn’t smell themselves- maybe they could and didn’t care.

Or maybe they lived in a house with no access to a shower !!

Sometimes you can go nose blind though if your smelling a certain smell all the time … maybe it’s the same with BO

As MintJulia said, I learnt a little from Jackie magazine. Periods were never mentioned in our house. My mother told me nothing and I had a huge shock when I started my first one. My pants were covered in blood (god knows how the blood stayed just there). I just didn't know what to do so went to mum who gave me a pad and then AND THEN - instead of chucking the pants in the bin (I would have done) or in the wash, she put them in a bucket full of boiling water and soap powder by the back door. Cue brother and dad coming in from the pub. Not a good evening for 13 year old me. It was awful. I remember it like it was yesterday and it was 33 years ago. Although I guess she was soaking them to wash - she could have out the bucket somewhere else!

We were very lucky to have access to all washing facilities and any no restrictions on that.
we were encouraged when little to have baths and often did the whole baths with parents thing.so I guess that must have just been subconsciously learnt.we new how to do armpit's,face etc.teeth supervised.
magazine lucky to have clean clothes.though im sure my uniform was lots grubbier than I thought it was.I went through a nervous stage of sucking my sleeve!

I can smell it on myself and I’m so paranoid about it but haven’t smelt it on anyone else!

I had some sporadic guidance - I was in foster care during my preteen and teen years. I have a son and daughter and have been very open with them about hygiene etc - doesn’t stop them being shower dodgers though (ds is 13, dd 10).

I make sure we have an excess of soap, shampoo etc as that was lacking. In foster care I was given a budget and expected to buy stuff myself - things like that weren’t bought for me from the age of 11. In a way it was quite isolating as I never felt part of a family, just a lodger.

I was always kept clean as a child.

Feminine hygiene specifically, well I had to figure most of that out myself with the help of sex ed lessons magazines and Judy blume.

My mum seemed to have weird ideas/arbitrary cut offs which given i was a late developer left me not only feeling left out because I wasn't allowed crop tops because there was "nothing there" there was always the embarrassment of at 15/16 having nothing on under a white school shirt.

My parents didn't exactly equip me very well either. I just had a pack of pads that weren't individually wrapped thrown on my bed one day to " prepare". No little bag or anything to put them in. I had to save up bus fare change to buy one. No range of products to try. If I didnt say I needed some in time for the weekly shop then I was stuck with whatever the local shop/petrol garage had in. As a result I found things trickier than they needed to be to manage. I guess I was lucky I was older so I had the ideas to look things up myself.

I have a period smell sometimes. I can't help it. It's not always due to a lack of hygiene. I suffer from flooding, where I can soak through a supermax tampon and nighttime pad within minutes.

I take spare clothes and baby wipes to work with me and clean up as soon as possible but if I'm in a meeting or shop etc when it happens I have the smell until I can get somewhere to wash and change.

I'd be mortified if anyone mentioned it to me. Flooding is hard enough to deal with without adding the fear of friends and colleagues judging you as unclean.