Who taught you feminine hygiene?

[Chloefairydust]

Inspired by another thread a poster started about concern over feeling grubby as a child, it got me thinking. (And yes I was definitely a grubby child looking back, which btw no one should have to feel ashamed of, as a child your dependent on your parents for care)

Growing up I was never really taught any kind of feminine hygiene. As a young child I would often feel uncomfortable down there from lack of hygiene and I think I had a few issues with UTIs if I remember right.

I kind of taught myself the hard way as I got older, like not knowing that I shouldn’t be using normal soaps on intimate skin, and not having anyone to explain tampons properly as a teenager, or even hair removal.

I never really felt comfortable asking my mum about these things, I felt it was a bit taboo and just not something to talk about. I don’t have any children, but always thought to myself if I was to have a daughter. I would talk openly about these things, and not make her feel ashamed.

So who you taught you feminine hygiene? Did you have to teach yourself like I did? And if you have a daughter do you feel comfortable talking about these things with her?

Same. I'm not sure what you can do to stop it though. The people I can smell it on don't have bad personal hygiene. And I definitely have a good sense of smell though.

My mum did, back in the late 90s/early 2000s. My parents were great but not always the most organised. She had pads so that's what I used, but they'd run out quite regularly so I'd have to wear one for ages (which does smell) or use tissue.

It was similar with other things - I didn't have my own deodorant, just had to share my mum's with my sister too and if it ran out, I smelt. I also wanted to shave my legs because we had to do p.e. twice a week but we only had one razor and it was often old and rusty. I guess she just didn't shave her legs in winter and didn't think about it. We didn't have shaving foam so I'd have to try to do it without and would have very sore legs. I also didn't have my own flannel or shower scrunchie and had to share the family one which I hated. I don't really understand it because I wouldn't describe them as disorganised now.

I don't have daughters but my teenage son has his own electric toothbrush, flannels, shampoo for his dry scalp and a variety of deodorants. I'd never let those run out.

My mum had chats with me when I was late primary school and got me some things to be prepared, but I didn't start my period until I was sixteen by which point your fairly clued up anyway.
The hygiene side of things started really young making sure to wipe properly and in the right direction, washing properly in the shower/bath.

Pubic hair removal we never discussed, I'm pretty sure my mum doesn't remove hers

My DM mentioned periods once and it was very hushed and embarrassed. I remember excitedly telling her we'd had people at school telling us, and then I picked up on the tone of the conversation and realised this wasn't something to be discussed. I struggled for years without support and had quite bad periods as have pcos. It wasn't until I moved away and had to register at my own gp and got on the pill that I began to feel normal. I wish she'd been open about it, and I feel it blighted my school life.

Ive been very open with dd, told her all about periods at 6 and talk about it regularly so it's normalised for her.

Letting people know you can smell their period is awful, really awful, just why would you,? Really hope that's not true. Mine are heavy, I use pads most of the time and I hate the smell, despite me being super clean. I would be absolutley mortified if anyone mentioned it. The only time I can smell it on others is when I can smell the perfumed pads, it's a really distinctive smell.
Dogs always know though, the bastards 😳

My DM and DGM taught me.
I taught my DD the importance of showering every day, wiping bum til no more poo on tissue, taught her about periods, bought her period pants (cause she didn't want to use tampons - although later on she did as her friend had educated her on them so in DDs case, it was me, my DM and DDs pal)

I think we were told to wash our bits when we were little. I also remember discovering for myself that I needed to keep it clean. We had a lesson at school in year 7 I think about periods and tampons and towels etc and the stuff was just there on the windowsill in the toilet in our house so we could just use it when we needed it. I don't remember my mum telling us how to use it but she must've done - either that or we had a book about it.

No one. My mum gave me some sanitary towels before I started my periods so I could be prepared. She never really taught me about hygiene. We only got a shower when I was about 13. Before then we'd just have a wash down at the sink because having baths was too expensive. I'm 47 so we got a shower in the late 80s. We were quite poor. It was only when I was in my 30s that I noticed a connection with certain soaps causing irritation down there.

My Mum had an abusive childhood, so she didn't have access to any of the things a young girl should have. She tried very hard to make sure my upbringing was different. She gave me a book from the family planning clinic (I think?) and I was reading way ahead of my age so Judy Blume and Jackie Collins were my sex ed! I always had access to lots of tampons and pads. I had to soak any undies in salt and cold water.
Also had a job from 11, and used to spend on nice shampoo etc.
My Dad however was vile about it, I wasn't allowed to store any san pro in the bathroom, once I left evidence in there and he told me I was dirty and he didn't want to see my muck.

cosmopolitan was my friend!

I am careful to inform both of my dds about everything - up to and including the dangers of anal sex, the feeling of childbirth and every thug you can think of under the sun. With hygiene I started early pre teens and introduced debate about sex, rape, nudes and consent at 14 when they started going out independently. I don’t hold back but tell them gently and answer lots of questions.

Thing

Don’t worry, I would never judge a friend for a period smell… it’s kind of normal, we are women and have periods and sometimes you can smell the blood. I think culture needs to change making women feel ashamed of a normal body function.

What a hateful man, what kind of father embarrasses their child like that? I can’t imagine you want very much to do him now.

My other didn’t tell me about periods. When I started she gave me a kiss, a Pyramint and some pads and said ‘keep yourself clean.’

She advised me not to wash my hair when I was ‘like that.’

I had constant cystitis, which she gave me otc medicine for.

I guess she was a product of her time.

*mother, not ‘other’.

What’s the dangers of anal sex? 😱

my partner has been hinting for this and I was considering trying it… maybe not if it’s dangerous though

My mum. She's always been very open about things. Got me using tampons early on, always warned me off using soap products on my private area, made sure we had daily baths / showers, fresh underwear and school shirts every day, clean clothes every day at weekends / holidays. She's also talked about how wearing tights or trousers can sometimes irritate your intimate area and has been a big advocate to allow 'air to your bits' 🤣😬. She also made sure I tended to my tears after the birth of my children to avoid infection etc... she was very firm about making sure I take care of myself after birth. She's a good one.

My post was aimed more at the person who said she tells people when she can smell period blood on them. It's an unbelievably cruel thing to do when many women cannot help it, no matter how clean they try to keep themselves during their period.

I can smell it myself, so I am well aware that other people can smell it. I don't need the humiliation of having it pointed out to me.

My mum - although I remember asking her what a period was when I was about 9/10 and she replied, ‘a period as in a period of time?’.. 🤦‍♀️… it was the early 80’s. I also remember a lot of my knowledge coming from magazines and Judy Blume ‘are you there god, it’s me Margaret’….

Tears - fissures - prolapse- fecal incontinence plus you can pass on STDs etc.

women, due to anatomy, have a higher risk of this happening than men iirc.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

My dm. I didn’t start my periods til I was 15.
My dm came from a generation who didn’t talk about ‘your bits’. The topic was off the table.
I’m open with my dds, even though my eldest is shy and reserved. I’m quite sensitive about the subject.

My mother and school. I am 60 and we had fairly comprehensive sex education at about 11/12 years old, which included hygiene. Plus magazines - I'm sure there were agony aunt and other things in my 17 magazine addressing this subject.

😮…
well That’s definitely off the table