Who taught you feminine hygiene?

[Chloefairydust]

Inspired by another thread a poster started about concern over feeling grubby as a child, it got me thinking. (And yes I was definitely a grubby child looking back, which btw no one should have to feel ashamed of, as a child your dependent on your parents for care)

Growing up I was never really taught any kind of feminine hygiene. As a young child I would often feel uncomfortable down there from lack of hygiene and I think I had a few issues with UTIs if I remember right.

I kind of taught myself the hard way as I got older, like not knowing that I shouldn’t be using normal soaps on intimate skin, and not having anyone to explain tampons properly as a teenager, or even hair removal.

I never really felt comfortable asking my mum about these things, I felt it was a bit taboo and just not something to talk about. I don’t have any children, but always thought to myself if I was to have a daughter. I would talk openly about these things, and not make her feel ashamed.

So who you taught you feminine hygiene? Did you have to teach yourself like I did? And if you have a daughter do you feel comfortable talking about these things with her?

My dm always taught us to be clean and bath regularly. She talked to me about periods when I was 10 and showed me the products and when my period started at 11 (1st day of secondary school) 🤷‍♀️ I was a bit nervous about it but the 1st few periods were quite short and not problematic

I was ten when a girl in my class told me about periods with ghoulish horror: "And if you start in school, there would be blood pouring all over the floor....." As soon as I got home I asked my mum, thinking she'd say it was rubbish! Her face told me it was true, but she said the bit about the blood on the floor was silly! I was absolutely horrified. Especially when she said it was every month!

My mum never explained what periods are. One of my good friends in Primary school explained that the HT was putting in a special bin for the girls and I asked what it was for which totally shocked her. Then she explained that girls bleed every month and I was like WHAT? My mum likened towels to nappies and I was so confused.

I started my period staying with my Gran when I was 13. She was very practical about it but it was embarrassing. This was in about 1991, my Gran had what would now be considered very old-fashioned ideas. Then she had to ring my mum and they had about the most awkward conversation about me. It seemed these things were quite taboo.

When I had my daughter I vowed to be more open and I have but I'm in no way as open as some people here. I gave my daughter a book about growing up and said if she had any questions to ask me. When she started her period it was in her sleep so I cleaned up without a fuss, and I already had towels in the house just in case (I'm on POP so my period is non-existent). She is quite stoic so got used to periods quickly and now deals with them by herself. She won't take paracetamol for pain, but uses a hot water bottle instead.

No one but this was part of a pattern of general neglect as I was not kept clean as a child and never taught to wash regularly, even as a teen.

I only learned this for myself once I finally left my home environment.

I really shudder now when I think about how dirty I was during these years and how much it contributed to bullying at school.

I am now almost obsessively clean which I think comes from the bad experience of these early years...

''@RewildingAmbridge
Pubic hair removal we never discussed, I'm pretty sure my mum doesn't remove hers''

Why would it need to be?

It has nothing to do with hygiene and all to do with porn trends...

My mother referred to it as "being unwell". She still does, to which I now say "I'm not unwell, I'm having my PERIOD" (much to her embarrassment). It was always something very taboo, not to be spoken of and shameful. I had to hide my pads under my bed because God forbid that the men in the house should see a packet of pads in the cabinet.

Bath was a Sunday night. Never taught about shaving, STIs, tampons etc. I had a "Growing Up" book from the charity shop under my pillow one day when I got home from school. It was very outdated and it wasn't until I was much older I even realised women could have orgasms as only men's were covered in the book!

Quite 🙄

im late forties and one of my clear memories of being in primary school was being called out by a school friend for smelling. I started my periods at around 9 years old. All I had access too were pads from the shop over the road which were HUGE and have little towelling rings on them with 2 safety pins to attach them to my underwear.
we only bathed once a week on a Sunday and washed in the sink daily but only faces and teeth. I was in a music class and the girl next to me quite loudly told me that I “stank of spare ribs “😧I didn’t know what to say I knew I had a smell that day but had no idea what it was. I told her I had eaten spare ribs for breakfast as they were last over from a takeaway. 😔I hadn’t. Laughter ensued from everyone in the music class and I’ve never forgotten the shame.
I didn’t tell anyone through fear of being laughed at again. My parents were loving but so busy working 5 jobs between them I think these things were overlooked sadly. I have grown up children now and have always had very open honest discussions around personal hygiene etc. song my post is so long it feels really good to express this and I feel quite emotional writing it.

My mother told me about periods when I was about 9 and gave me pads and a book which she left on my bed. Apart from that.. nothing. I was brought up having one bath a week. I wasn’t told about deodorant or shaving. Jackie magazine was invaluable for teaching me about self care and make up. A girl at school told me I needed to shave my legs which was mortifying! I used Immac on my eyebrows because I didn’t know about plucking them initially! My mother went to boarding school from 8 and rarely saw her parents, so I guess she wasn’t taught herself.

She took me to get a bra when I needed one and that was it.

I figured out tampons myself too.

No-one. I’d never heard of a period until our year 5 period talk and then my mum made it clear it wasn’t to be talked about at home. She was rubbish about buying products which was weird as she had a lesbian partner and my sister at home! I used to just buy stuff with my pocket money. This was only in the mid 90s and I feel cross looking back.

Had an ancient movie at school.
I was never smelly or anything. I learned to wash head to toe and use deodorant.

I thought that, it must make their friend feel like shit.

The school nurse gave a talk in y5. I think that was it.

I think it came from multiple sources. Hardly anything from mum. I know I want to do better with my girls but I am finding it doesn’t come naturally. I am just so conditioned to conceal anything feminine hygiene related.

J17, Bliss, Shout, and Mizz as a younger teen, then the Internet as an older teen.

My mum gave me some guidance- "No, young girls don't use tampons, here are some pads" and we never spoke about it again. My dad didn't even know I'd started til I was around 17 then was very shocked 😂

@CatsandDogs22 Buy a book if you don't feel comfortable. DD had a great one about growing up I bought her when she was in primary school. It covered everything from periods and hygiene to sex and consent in an age-appropriate way.

I can't for the life of me remember what it was called but I'm sure if you look on Amazon and read through some of the reviews you'll find something similar.

Google mostly
And a sex ed book that was left in the PE changing rooms at school and we passed it around for a few weeks

I was born late 60s.
Fem & Body Hygiene I learnt from school, cousins, my mom, peers, novels, magazines. In no particular order. Lots of info in every source. I'm still very grubby person so they all tried (probably failed) to chivvy me to do better. I don't mind this about myself.

Nothing. My mum put some pads and a pair of nylon pants with special loops in the in my drawer. Never mentioned them, or periods. She still hasn't. We were supposed to wash every day but she never mentioned anything about it. I'm certain I smelled sometimes and I was incredibly poor at managing periods and got laughed at by a horrible bitch at school for safety pinning my pads into my pants (perhaps I shouldn't have abandoned the special pants).

School filled in some of the gaps, and a bit from Just 17. Tbh I'm still not brilliant at managing periods and resent having them at 53.

My Nan was from Barbados and I spent most of my time with her growing up.

She was very strict about washing everyday. She would wash down there with soap and taught me to do that but then I got BV when I was a teenager and the GP said it's because most black people wash down there with soap and we aren't supposed to

I have mixed feelings. He's my Dad I love him, but is a difficult character. He is quite a bit older than my Mum, very old fashioned and a product of his upbringing, which wasn't great in a lot of ways. Whereas my Mum wanted to counteract her difficult childhood, he seemed to repeat some of his.

My Dad was a bit like this until he told DD2 to stop talking about her period in public because it embarrassed people. She looked at him with genuine confusion before saying, "don't ever tell me you need a wee again, and stop going to the toilet when other people are in the house. It is embarrassing."

Apart from spring out periods, I didn't really think feminine hygiene is a thing. It's just general
Hygiene. Feminine or not.

No one. I taught myself.

I ensure my 3 daughters get all the knowledge, interaction, help and support they need. I never want them feeling as I did.