Who taught you feminine hygiene?

[Chloefairydust]

Inspired by another thread a poster started about concern over feeling grubby as a child, it got me thinking. (And yes I was definitely a grubby child looking back, which btw no one should have to feel ashamed of, as a child your dependent on your parents for care)

Growing up I was never really taught any kind of feminine hygiene. As a young child I would often feel uncomfortable down there from lack of hygiene and I think I had a few issues with UTIs if I remember right.

I kind of taught myself the hard way as I got older, like not knowing that I shouldn’t be using normal soaps on intimate skin, and not having anyone to explain tampons properly as a teenager, or even hair removal.

I never really felt comfortable asking my mum about these things, I felt it was a bit taboo and just not something to talk about. I don’t have any children, but always thought to myself if I was to have a daughter. I would talk openly about these things, and not make her feel ashamed.

So who you taught you feminine hygiene? Did you have to teach yourself like I did? And if you have a daughter do you feel comfortable talking about these things with her?

I am picturing a filthy man at home in his egg stained joggers wanking over this revolting thread I presume he has created. And as for the person that tells their close friends they smell of period , come on, what kind of person are you?
I’d be utterly mortified and never come within a mile radius of you again .
Please refrain from sharing details about your daughter’s fannies on this thread.
reported.

I want to give the children-version of all of you who had to fend for themselves a big hug.

And, op, don't tell your friends you smell their period, that's horrible. As you say, it's normal and not to do with poor hygiene, so why would you?!

This happens to my friend and she feels as you do. The really horrible part of it is though, people will say something to her sometimes and it kills her. When we're together, she never has to tell me that she may flood. I can work it out from her persona on the day. I always, ALWAYS make sure I NEED the bathroom, I swear she thinks I have the bladder of a mouse! This gives her the discretion and dignity of making sure she's able to take care of herself without it being a 'thing'. Periods are hard enough, no one needs to be made to feel unclean on top of that.
I feel for you and I hope you have caring and compassionate people around you.

Some of these stories are really sad, but I love the one about the mum who gave the PP a kiss and a Pyramint! What happened to those?!

My mum and I was very lucky as she was (and still is) a great mum and I could talk to her about anything growing up. Nothing was off limits and I'm very grateful for that.

Likewise, I'm 61. The girls had a session in the top year of primary, and the new loos included a cubicle with a sink in it. DM provided info, pamphlets and always had femfresh sachets available in the loo. It wasn't really a subject which was discussed in front of dad and my DBs; DF did a lot of the shopping so he'd sometimes be given a list to pass discreetly to the chemist.

My mum gave me a very embarrassed period talk when I was about 10. I started my periods at about 13 in school had to use toilet paper in my knickers. She never had pads in for me I was really shy and too embarrassed to ask or buy my own it was a misery. I made sure that my dd and her friends knew where San Pro was kept in the house.

My mum taught me to wipe front to back, and always to wee after sex. The tampax talk taught me that I should not use soap on my vulva.

I can't remember how I learned about period options but I was a really late starter compared to all of my friends. I think my mum helped me choose pads when I wanted them, though. I used to always get the type with wings.

She also bought KY Jelly for me to use in case I wanted to try tampons XD

I didn't get on with tampons until I was sexually active though.

My mum showed me how to use belt & pads, in a hurried, vaguely disgusted way.. I was eleven & a half & still remember like it was yesterday..

@MintJulia , you reminded me of a school biology session, where we could ask anonymous written questions.

Someone evidently asked about contraception, since the answer was a very stern, ‘This is something no NICE girl needs to know about until she’s married!’

Decades ago now though.

I was given pads by my mother when I started my period and told to dispose of them you rip them in half and flush them down the toilet. Rip. Them. In. Half😱
Learned myself through magazines. Very different approach with daughter!

My Mum, kind of. But I was always made to have a shower every morning, so just general washing was fine? I was also given a book. I would have started my period around 1990, I think, and my Mum was very shy/quite prudish about this sort of thing.

I don't remember ever getting blood on the sheets as a teen (or as an adult actually), but my young teen daughter does from time to time, and I have talked to her about blood/cold water etc. She has period knickers which are amazing - I wish we'd had them in my day! I remember when pads with wings finally appeared on the market, and the modern "flat" pads after the horrible thick mattresses that instantly bunched up in the middle. There are even teen sized pads now, which are great.

DD goes to an all girls school though, and last year the headmistress had a pretty frank discussion with all of them at assembly about properly disposing of pads and not leaving them "face up" in the bins in the bathrooms!

Wait - but they did flush, didn't they? There were definitely some that tore down the middle quite well, as if they were designed to, then flushed. These were the old school thick ones though.

Then I remember the Always Ultra ones came in, and you rolled them up in the wrapper & put them in the bin. I remember the packet on those being adamant that they couldn't be flushed, which I seem to remember being a novelty in itself.

Two friends who were sisters - and had a fantastic mum - told me about periods when we were all 9/10 in the mid 60's. I was absolutely mortified!

I didn't start until I was almost 14 and actually lived on my own from being 15 - mother couldn't have cared less - so definitely pretty much self taught.

@astoundedgoat there was a similar thread a while back and apparently they were flushable so you're not misremembering

I was given always ultra. They were definitely not designed to be ripped in half. Did flush though, first one half then the other...🙄

In Australia, Dolly magazine. Absolutely amazing source of information. My mother was so embarrassed by the whole thing that the most she could do was leave a box of pads on my bed.

Some houses are just too cold to go for a shower in. Some houses don't have hot water or soap, or clean towels.

I don’t remember being specifically told, but by puberty was certainly made aware by my DM that pits and bits must be washed every day, with a sponge or flannel kept for the purpose.

I used to do my feet as well - agile enough to get them in the wash basin!

Cue a lot of ‘Eeww!’ I dare say, but this was 60s, pre central heating in our house, one bath, no shower, solid fuel boiler for hot water, and no way would there ever have been enough hot water for 6 of us to have a bath every day.

NC but this thread has made me emotional.

I was thinking to myself this morning how much it irritates me when my children have dirty fingernails and I quickly wash their hands and nails when I notice it. And I realised it's because I constantly had it when I was a teen. Warts everything. Only allowed to bath on Sundays from being a child and when we turned 10 two baths a week.
I always had UTI's, sore bottoms and thread worms (monthly threadworms)

My mum says it's all normal childhood stuff but funny enough my 8 year old has never had a sore vagina, uti or ever had threadworms.

Then I seen my mother with her dirty fingernails and it just reminds me.

Hygiene was so neglected then. Teeth all sorts.

Makes me feel sad but empowered that I'm not the same.

I was 13, given the 2" thick long sanitary towels that hung off a belt. It was awful, excruciatingly embarrassing, especially when changing for PE and I used to have heavy periods. I remember saving lunch money to buy lilets.

I struggled to stay clean and always had a smell when I had my period. Even if I changed the sanpro more often, I still had that smell, despite body sprays and showering.

I'd have been mortified if a friend ever told me I smelled and I'm so glad I don't have a friend like pp.

I think it was a generational thing to be embarrassed and ashamed of periods. I remember once in school (I went to an all girls school) a girls friend in class stuck a pad on her back (a clean unused one!) as a prank and didn’t tell her right before going back into the class. The teacher when she saw it literally went bright red in the face with embarrassment. And was unreasonably angry. She pulled up the poor girl in front of the class (who wasn’t even aware of the pad on her back) shouted at her and generally shamed her in front of everyone and then gave everyone in the class detention and made us all write an essay about the pad stuck on this girls back lol. The teacher looked positively disgusted though.

So sorry you experienced this💐, it’s such a horrible feeling to not feel clean as a child, to be honest I never understand the idea of a weekly bath, children need baths more often than this. If I were to have a child I think I would include a bath each night as part of the bedtime routine… Thankfully I never had threadworms, but I remember how it feels as a child to feel a bit grubby, have health issues and feeling sore around vaginal area and to also have constant head lice. It was awful and even though I do have happy memories as a child, these memories of how I felt throughout my entire childhood are there too… Your not alone @itsokaynowjess