What happens to all the mean girls

[RedPanda901]

My daughter was talking about the mean girls in her school and it made me ask what she meant. I mean I knew what she meant but wondered what her experience of it was. In her words: they are dismissive of the girls they don't like; talk down to other girls; laugh and bully them to make others do what they want.

Just out of interest…
Are you a mean girl? Were you a mean girl? What made you change?

Having been to a very rough comp and and then a ludicrously public school Cambridge college (I didn’t realise it was so full of private school when I applied - probably why I got in, I boosted their quota!)…I would say there are different kinds of mean girls. The posh ones were horrible, social climbing, totally man obsessed. A bit depressing given they were all clever enough to get to Cambridge. Anyway they’ve all married posh guys and live in Clapham/big country houses. Have had children fairly young, not career driven. (That’s fine by the way, if I could afford to not work I would.)
The one’s at the rough comp…different kettle of fish. Unpleasant and bitchy but in a more desperate way. Many pregnant by the time I was doing a levels. Our area has been one of the grooming scandal places from the ‘90s. I remember one had a much older boyfriend and had lots of expensive stuff she showed off at school. I wonder what was really going on.

There is one exception from school who is doing well - I can't remember what she does exactly but I know she is doing well.

This thread is actually full of mean girls laughing and schadenfreude about their bullies.

'I'm better than them now'.

Ouch.

That's all they were ever trying to do. Make themselves feel good.

They did it to make themselves feel better.

Which is exactly what you're doing.

I'm more for women and compassion.

Just have a little think.

It's shitty isn't it? Just more shit.

But yes, mock them now if it makes you feel better.

What happens to all the mean girls

They become mean women and make life hell at work (instead of school).

They usually become nurses

Or work in mental health

The mean girls I knew all went to study childcare or health and beauty and had kids by the time they were 18

The ones who bullied me at school seemed to forget what cows they were. I was at school pre home computers but once we were all able to find each other online, they were all 'Hi! How are you? Are you married now?!' Nicey nicey. Like they'd completely forgotten how they behaved to me & others.

I think socioeconomic status does indeed play a large part.

the mean girls at my friend’s school bullied the ones that applied themselves. A lot apparently didn’t go to university and stayed in the same town their entire lives. Had children young.

Conversely I went to a private school and it was very different from the above. I never had an issue with the mean girls but I knew who they were. As far as I’m aware none have suffered any great calumnies, and have done quite well in life.

@Youreeavinalaff I don’t understand. Why should you feel sorry for her for glaring smuggling?

Drug smuggling*

There was a group of mean girls in the year above me, they are all 46-47 now. One is admin of a local town FB group and acts like she’s a saint, I was to remind her that her and her friends put me in hospital after 4 of them jumping me unprovoked when I was 18. None of them have come to much though, all live in the same town we grew up in, some in the same street. All still friends (as I am with my school friends). I doubt most have changed, I wonder though now they’ve got their own kids if they regretted being so horrible to people, the bullying etc. Love to call them out but will rise above. I left the town 20yrs ago and have a good career etc, so left them behind years ago

Oh stop it. What is this constant and toxic need to shut women up? Police their voices. Be nice, be kind, be better, be perfect, don't talk about your pain, accept, don't try to alleviate it by speaking about how things turned out pretty well for you despite your childhood trauma.

🙄

Yes this. Or become PIP assessors.

Surely she’s not charismatic enough to be manipulative? That’s idea surprises
me

@AntimemeticsDivision why not mock them? The mean girls weren’t mean to me I wasn’t in the popular mean girl click was popular with most of the school and had a very popular boyfriend from the year above me, but man these girls were vicious little bitches and made school then highschool hell for many kids, damaging many of their victims well into adulthood. They are still nasty pieces of work now.

I’m glad to say the mean girls from my school, all married early to awful people just like them, then divorced not that much later, had ghastly children just like their awful parents, crap careers and lost their looks not long after school.

I’m glad their lives played out badly. And I don’t care if it is mean of me now. I saw the damage these girls wrought on many of the gentle kind kids I went to school and did extra curricular activities with. I stood up for them as much I could, but it was like whack a mole and as a teen I just wasn’t equipped to deal with it. IMO many of the teachers played a major role in it, laughing at the nasty names and taunts they made, instead of pulling them up on their behaviour.

@Darbs76 sounds like the mean girls from my old school. I still have friends still living and working in that town, and I’m lucky enough to been given the report back they are all pretty unhappy with crappy lives.

They don’t change. Sadly they grow to become mean teenagers and then mean women. The bullies at my secondary school, both girls and boys,, have grown in to shitty nasty adults.

In fact one of the mums at school has been telling me how unhappy she is in her marriage and how much she wants to leave. She told me it’s her own fault because she went to school with her husband and he was a bully at school and he’s still a bully now.

So @MargotChateau, you're happy the circle carries on?

You're happy that the young women that abused you because of their shitty lives went on to have shtty lives so that they can then abuse your daughters.

You're happy with that?

Brilliant.

Where you see 'vicious little bitches'.

I see 'Damaged young women who have been badly served'.

You've got to stop this belief.

It will help you too. Really.

No-one's equipped to deal with the world unless they're from a very strong family.

Does wishing bad upon others ever ^really' help?

No. It doesn't.

Not so much mean girls, but the snobby, trendy, popular ones. They nearly all partnered up and had children right after school, we’re divorced before I even met my now Dh, and oddly, though they were the cannabis smokers/cokeheads in school, have politically gone super right wing, evangelical Christian, Nigel Farage. It’s…weird.

And fucking lolz @LondonWolf, the last thing I ever want to do is shut women up.

Those 'meangirls'? They were young women that didn't want to be shut up. They were making their voice heard the only way they knew.

I don't want to shut any women up.

Women's voices aren't always what you want to hear.

They scream in many ways.

But most haven't had shitty lives. Most have gone on to do pretty well for themselves and that has been acknowledged by the posters who post about them. People can talk about their pain and feel a bit of schadenfreude and it doesn't make them bad people who are delighting in the pain of others, it makes them humans who are processing their pain. Sanctimonious demands for noble perfection are one of the most tiresome things about MN.

I was in the nerd herd at school and honestly, we weren't any better. We also had nastiness and infighting and we thought we were better than the cool crowd.

Many are going to be fucked now that interest rates are going up.

They become successful or marry