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Original poster

Do you enjoy hosting people/people calling in ?

113 replies

thinkimtheodd · 09/10/2022 10:10

So I admit I'm probably really odd in saying that I don't like people calling to my house. I'm really chatting easy going and get along with everyone but for some reason I hate people coming to my house! I don't know what actually the problem is though. I would love to be the type of person that has people over for dinner etc but I just don't enjoy it when I know it's happening!

Anyone else like this?

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 09/10/2022 10:14

I have a pretty much open house, anyone can pop in at anytime it doesnt bother me. i actually prefer that to people calling and making an 'appointment' that makes me really uncomfortable.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 09/10/2022 10:16

But this is MN where you are going to get a lot of responses agreeing with you, and it is terribly rude to visit or call someone without a months notice Grin

Original poster
thinkimtheodd · 09/10/2022 10:17

I really really wish I could be like you! I get so uptight about it all. Think I worry about my house not being tidy, or being judged. I have people calling today and I'm all on edge until they'll be gone, even though they are friends and we have a great time together. I'm just so odd lol

OP posts:
LegendOfZeldaFitzgerald · 09/10/2022 10:18

Yes I love it.

I suppose from time to time I wouldn’t want someone calling in if the place was a mess but that’s on me!

Original poster
thinkimtheodd · 09/10/2022 10:19

@ZeroFuchsGiven haha that's true. Lol a months notice- 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
TwoWrightFeet · 09/10/2022 10:20

I like having people over. I enjoy baking and would rather share it with others than eat it all myself. I enjoy having some company, it can be a great pick me up.

MrsGamgee · 09/10/2022 10:21

I enjoy hosting people, putting on a nice buffet a d having family round to celebrate special occasions. I also don't mind people calling and asking if they can pop in, I always have biscuits in the biscuit tin ready.

I hate enexpected visitors. Those ones banging on the door saying they were "just in the area".

I also hate those who overstay their welcome. You expect it to be a quick coffee and a chat and they stay for hours. Normally I have things to do so I just get on and do them and hope they take the hint. They never do and I feel too awkward telling them they need to leave.

GreenLeavesRustling · 09/10/2022 10:23

Hate hate hate it

feels intrusive and rude

home is my sanctuary and I need to plan for visitors.

though I may be odd - pretty sure I have undiagnosed ASD /ADHD which affects my ability to cope with things that aren’t planned for

DillDanding · 09/10/2022 10:24

We love having a houseful, and often do.

I hate people just turning up. I have a family member that not only turns up unannounced, she doesn’t even knock on the front door. She opens the side gate and walks straight in the via the patio doors.

EarringsandLipstick · 09/10/2022 10:27

I love having people over but have very little opportunity to do so as weekends are taken up with kids' sports.

However, I'm not relaxed, I worry about my house being tidy & currently I've a lot of cluttered rooms & feel very stressed about anyone coming.

Original poster
thinkimtheodd · 09/10/2022 10:31

I think that's my issue. My house needs some repairs and I worry that they'll make judgment (I'm sure they wouldn't) but I always put on appearances that I'm happy enough and I don't think my guess would think I'm secretly counting down the seconds till they leave. I think I'm a secret loner and I just enjoy my own space.

OP posts:
CaronPoivre · 09/10/2022 10:42

I neither love nor hate. It entirely depends who and when, surely?

Tea on the terrace with a few elderly neighbours chatting and eating tiny sandwiches and scones is lovely.
A table laid with sparkling glasses, twinkling candlelight and crackling fire with a few too many glasses of Chateau NdeP shared with nice people is great fun.
Good friends bursting in the kitchen door to tell you some exciting news, elderly neighbours coming because they’re worried about their JR or the gutters is fine and a way to check up on them.

MIL not so much. Village fusspot fretting about parking on verges, not so much.

Begoniasforever · 09/10/2022 10:46

Love hosting and do so regularly. I don’t like unannounced visits as I work and don’t have time for that, but I love having people for dinner or to stay the weekend and do so every few weeks.

OldTinHat · 09/10/2022 11:02

Hate, hate, hate people coming to my house! Especially situations like the other week - there was a hammering at the door, I thought it was my elderly neighbour as that's her usual calling card and she normally wants a natter or to give me fruit from her trees, whatever, just doorstep chat. I was on the phone at the time but opened the door, someone I know shoved me aside, shouted 'loo' and ran through my house to the bathroom.

I'm not well physically and mentally, I have post it notes stuck up everywhere to remind me of things which I remove when 'invited' guests come round. These were stuck all over the bathroom and house because I wasn't expecting anyone. I felt utterly violated because I don't want anyone to know how poorly I am.

What happened next? I cut short my phone conversation, collected as many post it notes as I could whilst she was in the bathroom, then she plonked herself down on my settee and asked for a cup of tea! I don't drink milk so said she could but I've no milk. She actually phoned her husband to say TinHat will make us a cup of tea when you pick me up but doesn't have any milk so can you bring some!

Yes, I am in therapy for a lot of doormat/people pleasing issues...!

Ithoughtthiswastherehearsal · 09/10/2022 11:04

Love hosting! Invite people round all the time!

Do find it weird people dropping in, no one does that round here. Everyone has mobiles whynwould anyone drop in without at least sending a text first?

DelurkingAJ · 09/10/2022 11:05

Adore it. Probably because we’re a long way from most of our family and friends and it means they’ve made a huge effort to come and see us.

AgentProvocateur · 09/10/2022 11:08

Yes, I love hosting people and I love when people drop by unexpectedly too. I don’t have a clean/tidy house (unless I’m expecting people) but I don’t care. My friends are coming to see me - no g judge how clean my house is.

hornchurchmum · 09/10/2022 11:12

I love hosting, whether it's a party, dinner, takeaway or just a cuppa. Everyone knows they can turn up anytime at our door and will always be welcome, whether they've made a plan to come or not. I think I'm naturally a feeder/motherly/carer type and always like people to feel at ease and be happy and content, always offering more drinks etc. I My friend on the other hand doesn't like it at all. She'll have a close friend couple over for an evening, but would never host anything bigger, even the thought of it makes her anxious, and she gets really annoyed if someone knocks at her door and they aren't expected. We're quite amused in the ways that we differ lol x

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 09/10/2022 11:13

ZeroFuchsGiven · 09/10/2022 10:14

I have a pretty much open house, anyone can pop in at anytime it doesnt bother me. i actually prefer that to people calling and making an 'appointment' that makes me really uncomfortable.

I'm the same,I love it when people pop in unexpectedly and I love having friends over for food. I don't do formal dinner parties, I make food that is easy to prepare so I don't get in a flap beforehand and people can just help themselves. In the summer I do BBQs.

FindingMeno · 09/10/2022 11:19

Depends who and when.
I don't want a work friend popping by unannounced when I'm sat in my dressing gown and haven't cleaned my teeth, for example.
I also love a chaotic house full of teenagers.
Unless they're drunk.

Shergill15 · 09/10/2022 11:33

I'm a bit of both. I really enjoy hosting and cooking for others if it's planned. I'm not so keen on unannounced visitors though - although again depends on context; a friend needing a chat etc not a problem. The ex in laws however would turn up unannounced ALL the time, let themselves in and stay for hours on end making it impossible to get on with anything. And ex MIL was always interfering with housework etc so I always felt judged/on edge.

Lily4444 · 09/10/2022 13:41

I love having people over but hate the work. Last new year we rented an Airbnb and bought everything foodwise from John Lewis. It was great - didn’t have to worry about people in my house or cooking

TheVanguardSix · 09/10/2022 13:50

If I lived near my family in the States, I’d have loved it. As it happens, I’ve lived in the UK for most of my adult life, in London, and I hate hosting/people popping in. I don’t know what it is. My theory is that Londoners (you can be from anywhere in the world, mind, but everyone who lives n London becomes a Londoner) make so little effort to meet up that when they finally do, it becomes An Event and they stay hours and hours and hours and it’s exhausting and draining and someone ends up crying over how damaged they were by the family’s golden child when they were young.
No. I hate having people over. Too much work.
I always think if I lived up North, I’d be more outgoing and sociable. I’m quite a chatterbox by nature… an insular, reclusive chatterbox. 😁

Cherryana · 09/10/2022 14:04

I just don’t like the cleaning and tidying that goes with it and so since lockdown ended, we have actively looked at how we can host but with less work.

When it was sunny, we had just coffee in the garden (lots) , brunch in the garden (a few) and my favourite host - meeting people in a local park (my fav). No tidying required any more!

mackthepony · 09/10/2022 14:07

No, I hate hosting. Awful.

We spent 8 hours at SIL's house yesterday for a family get together. It was a long day.