Do you enjoy hosting people/people calling in ?

[thinkimtheodd]

So I admit I'm probably really odd in saying that I don't like people calling to my house. I'm really chatting easy going and get along with everyone but for some reason I hate people coming to my house! I don't know what actually the problem is though. I would love to be the type of person that has people over for dinner etc but I just don't enjoy it when I know it's happening!

Anyone else like this?

God No, it bores me ridgid. Plus all the faff of running round like a headless chicken beforehand.
Different if its,my sisters or Mum, but l dont like hosting or going around other peoples houses. I much prefer the house to myself, me and my animals. Same goes for xmas , the quieter the better. Alot of hosting just seems so fake and all for show plus l don' t enjoy cooking.
l have lots of hobbies and interests but hosting definately isn' t one of them.

I always marvel at (and envy) super-social people who socialize often, and those who have an open door policy,. I love the idea of it, but not the reality and I just can’t get there. We are going to have four relatives visit in the spring for a week and I am already stressing. 😬

I think because I’m just comfortable in my life. I still live in the area I was born in and my friends are still mostly my friends from school. They saw me missing my two front teeth, they saw me thru puberty and they’ve held my hair as I spewed in the park after too much drink in highschool. They’re not going to give a shit if I’m in my jammies with Eu de Babyspew, they won’t care if ny house is a mess with kids toys and waving still not tidied and they won’t even notice if my hairs not done.I’m the same with them.

We just appear if we’re passing, I’d think someone was being rude if they didn’t even stick their head in the door when they were passing without a decent excuse. To arrange before we send a message on snap saying “you in?” And sometimes the reply will be “nah, I’m at my mums but fire round here” and you’ve just been invited to your friends mums. To which you text three others and say “I’m of to Jo’s mums, yiu coming”. It’s just the done thing.

@CaronPoivre do you live in a Jilly Cooper novel?

‘intrusive and rude’ that’s an overreaction 🙄

Overreaction to you maybe, but that is how it feels to me. I would never just drop in without calling or texting in advance to make sure it is convenient.

Nope I don’t like it. Makes me feel on edge and I feel the need to be doing something rather than sitting chatting so I’ll end up going and doing the washing up or something.

I’ll happily help clear up, wash up etc if I’ve been invited somewhere.

I try hard for the children though and even encourage sleepovers here for their friends even though Im mostly over it after the dinner point.

I’m very much a ‘drop in anytime’ person. But I’m also a ‘piss off I’m busy type person. If someone stops by and I’m busy I’ll explain to them that I’ve got stuff going on, or that they can’t stay more than 20 minutes or so. People who do drop in anytime know that my house almost certainly won’t be pristine, the springs are away on two seats of the sofa and I may be in my pyjamas in the middle of the afternoon, as long as they don’t expect to find an immaculate house with fresh baked bread on the kitchen counter (or a kitchen for that matter since we’re in the middle of having a new one fitted) then they’ll be fine.

I like it and I prefer people calling in at short notice, because that way expectations are modest. I don't plan ahead and invite groups of people for a lovingly curated meal with lots of courses and drinks. I don't have the space, the chairs or the glasses for that, plus I'm no great cook. But I'm always happy to have a handful of friends in for supermarket pizza, salad, dessert, that kind of thing. Or tea and coffee merging into takeaway and wine. Nothing fancy and I don't think of it as hosting.

Hate hosting.

Absolutely despise going to other people's houses in pretty much any capacity, too.

More than happy to have a houseful of kids at mine entertaining themselves with my kids.

Im exactly. Love the idea of being a host, but hate the reality of it. Puts me on edge.
I don't mind people calling in (they never do as I live too far away), but i much prefer going to someone else's house. I'll happily take food/drink etc
As a pp said, my home is my sanctuary and it almost feels like it's been invaded if I have guests. I too think I'm on the Autism scale because it really bothers me. If I had or a used a.dinner, if feel sick with worry about it for weeks.

Unreasonable and all as that is.

*organised A dinner

Oh god no, I absolutely HATE it.

I can't stand people just dropping by because I think it's really bloody rude - I/the house may not be presentable, we may have things we need/want to do or we may just not want company and can't get out of it when someone barges their way into your day with no warning.

I'm really sociable and have lots of friends but generally would rather meet people out somewhere than have them to mine. I find hosting really stressful and can't enjoy myself because I feel the pressure too much but then I hate staying at other peoples houses too, because I don't want to create work for them and find it awkward

My life is busy and stressful, and my home is a peaceful calm sanctuary and I don't like opening it up. One of my relatives operates an open house type thing and even visiting them fills me with horror because it's so noisy and chaotic with loads of randoms everywhere

I'm exactly the same op

Unplanned pop ins - hate and I will often provide or make up a reason why they can't come in or have to leave soon. No drinks offered. Even if it is convenient its the assumption that has been made that I'm just sat awaiting their arrival and can drop everything to host.
Planned guests who have dropped a text or call to check in convenient or been invited - enjoy and welcome, offer drinks, also food, encourage to stay longer as I'm relaxed and happy.

I could have written this.

I too find it stressful, however, where we lived before I did get to a point with several friends “were allowed” in after school no specific invitation. But that was through a sort of exposure therapy where they came over often enough - very close to school gates - they saw the house in its natural state.

I dislike hosting so much, my DH bless him invites friends and colleagues over on the one night he can guarantee I’m out!

I don’t mind making cuppas, feeding kids snacks etc can even go as far as a freezer dinner…. It’s being judged for being a disorganised messy person that puts me off. Also probably Autistic/adhd……. Dd being assessed now.

I like it, post covid it’s dropped off.

There was a definite open house after school thing going on here so lots popped in plus have hosted many parties. Last was Platinum Jubilee. Have had few friends over for lunch or afternoon tea since then but that’s just another couple and not a big do.

Biggest number of people I have entertained at home was 40 for DS Christening. Last really big party of 25 was NYE 2019. Neither myself or DH parents liked guests or school friends over. DS is quite like us, he always asks. He had some sort of darts tournament / pizza night in the conservatory about 5 weeks ago.

I love having people over - the more the merrier! But I do like a bit if notice, at least 30minutes so I can do a wizz around and shove stuff behind doors.

I could have written this post...I thought it was just me.

I love seeing people but prefer to go to them unless it’s prearranged. Would hate people calling in unannounced but am ok with a little warning (even 10 mins) so I can make sure it’s presentable and the toilet is clean.

Ha!! This is also me

I'm the same way. It's even more annoying when they don't call or text before showing up at your door. I find that very rude and then when you're not at home they'll say "I called to your house and you weren't in" as if you're expected to be at home 24/7 awaiting their unannounced arrival.

Don’t mind hosting too much altho it is something we almost never do now, but I can’t stand people popping in. Thankfully we don’t really know anyone who does it - not because they know because my mum would always act like it was a delightful surprise back in the day,i think generally just people have changed as it was something that used to happen more often.

I don’t like people phoning me at work either, I just generally find it very frustrating to be interrupted from whatever I am doing (another one on the thread with ADHD btw!). Also just don’t like being caught on the hop with a messy house, PJs etc - not even the PJs themselves more the fact that I will feel a bit dirty. My sister sometimes says she feels unwelcome because we’ve been less than enthusiastic when she’s turned up with the kids (I live with DM) and I’ve tried to make her understand she is ALWAYS welcome, we just want a text ten mins before she comes so we can get washed and dressed, have a super quick tidy up - I know she is my sister and I do feel comfortable around her but if she wafts in all dressed, make up on, nice and clean and I’m there not even changed into fresh knickers, it makes me feel like a slob.

but hosting, that can be fun as long as I’ve had time to prepare, I like cooking so I like being able to feed people.

I love hosting...when it's planned and organised. Hate people 'calling in'...

I mean when you're hosting your house is tidy and clean, staged even...it's like going on a first date, you try hard to appear your best version of yourself. After that it's all down hill ha!

When people pop in, it's always an absolute abomination.

Once had my husbands accountant call in to drop some paperwork off, brought his wife, we had a new puppy...turns out she wanted to come in to see it...I remember feeling physically sick as I heard him say ' of course you can come in'
Puppy had sh!t all over the kitchen tiled floor then smeared its arse all over the living room carpet, I'd not been home from work more than 5 mins, two days worth of washing up was on the sink, my husbands running trainers which had got chewing gum stuck to them...were in the microwave, yes the microwave! as someone at work had told me to microwave them to melt it off! So the smell of sweaty feet was wafting around the house which mixed nicely with the smell of dogs!t and to top it off, she asked to use the bathroom where my underwear was strewn all over the floor and my husband had shaved his beard, well I think it was his beard hair... off in the sink...!! Mortified. So now we tend to hide if the door bell goes and we're not prepared for visitors!