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Do you enjoy hosting people/people calling in ?

113 replies

thinkimtheodd · 09/10/2022 10:10

So I admit I'm probably really odd in saying that I don't like people calling to my house. I'm really chatting easy going and get along with everyone but for some reason I hate people coming to my house! I don't know what actually the problem is though. I would love to be the type of person that has people over for dinner etc but I just don't enjoy it when I know it's happening!

Anyone else like this?

OP posts:
caroleanboneparte · 10/10/2022 09:19

I bought a nice teapot and set 10+ years ago thinking how lovely it would be to use it for friends/ visitors.

It's never been used.

2 people have come into my house this year but I don't think I've had an unplanned guest ever.

I love hosting. (Or at least the thought of it)

It just doesn't happen in my life.

Who are all these people? I don't know what my neighbours look like. Only one friend in walking distance. Is this not normal?

OhAmBackAgain · 10/10/2022 09:47

Who are all these people? I don't know what my neighbours look like. Only one friend in walking distance. Is this not normal?

I use yo live in a village and after a few years made friends within the village with other mums and people from the pub quiz nights, it just kept expanding, the kitchen table was the hub and friends would put the kettle on if I was busy doing something (putting washing on, breaking kids arguments up, making dinner, etc) Happy days.

My neighbour was not one of them. We didn't get on, and if I'd been on mumsnet at the time I'd started many threads on her bizarre horrible behaviour 🤣

I've been down here 10 years and it so much. I have a few friends here, but only one who will ring and say they are passing by and is ok to pop in. The rest are all organised get togethers. Nice but not the same.

OhAmBackAgain · 10/10/2022 09:48

Been down *here 10 years

OhAmBackAgain · 10/10/2022 09:49

miss it *so much

still need edit button

Mabelface · 10/10/2022 10:02

My home is my sanctuary from the world so I don't like hosting and unexpected visitors are an absolute no. I'm autistic with adhd though! I'm not that fond of going to others either. Life is too peopley.

FinallyHere · 10/10/2022 13:24

Absolutely love hosting.

Grew up abroad, where my mother used to keep open house for, well anyone really. No great luxury, you would be lucky to get a chair to yourself but always a warm welcome and a sympathetic ear.

I love having people around. I love being able to invite people to our for coffee after say a meal. My favourite way of 'entertaining' is to have people for drinks, go out to a walking distance restaurant and back to ours for coffee. We always have the makings of coffee, and something sweet.

Just back from a weeks holiday where one evening I 'hosted' a bring your own salad party in my balcony. I like having people round

I've always invited people I like back to mine. It's a way to show you like someone and would like to get to know them better. It's a nice thing to do and doesn't need any preparation.

Having been 'invited home' sets a new or possible new friendship on a firm footing.

It would never occur to me that they might judge my house or my circumstances. If they did, or do, then I think that says much more about them than it would ever say about me.

The trick if you do need everyone, or even just the last stragglers, to be gone, is to offer 'would you like to visit the loo before you set off'. And bring their coats to them so they put them on right away. Sorted.

Tealpoppy · 10/10/2022 13:45

I’m ok with anyone coming as long as I have a firm ‘start’ time and a firm ‘home’ time-pre-planned
i live in a lovely house that’s tidy-kids have left home,which helps!
I just find hosting a drain on my energy-I’m always shattered after a day with friends
if someone needed my help and just banged on the door-that’s fine,but I can’t cope with anyone just popping round
i think I take after my dad-he’d cheerfully never have anyone round

verdantverdure · 12/10/2022 16:46

Those of you who don't mind people just turning up, what do you do if you're cooking dinner, rearranging the living room, in the middle of fixing a tap, sleeping, having sex, in the middle of an exercise routine, in the middle of a serious discussion, in the bath or shower, not in a sociable mood, or someone else in the house isn't, working, studying, or just enjoying a rare moment of having the house to yourself etc

The reason I don't like people go drop in is that I will always be doing something when they do so.

What do you do?

Celebrityskint · 12/10/2022 16:50

I love it! In my last neighborhood there were 4 of us who were in and out of each other’s houses for cups of tea.

when DS was a toddler I used to have big groups of people over to play and hang out on a Friday when DH was at work

but, DH is an introvert and isn’t as keen on people being in our house. So we don’t have that many people over these days: mostly just family and a few closer friends.

EerilyDevilled · 12/10/2022 19:28

verdantverdure · 12/10/2022 16:46

Those of you who don't mind people just turning up, what do you do if you're cooking dinner, rearranging the living room, in the middle of fixing a tap, sleeping, having sex, in the middle of an exercise routine, in the middle of a serious discussion, in the bath or shower, not in a sociable mood, or someone else in the house isn't, working, studying, or just enjoying a rare moment of having the house to yourself etc

The reason I don't like people go drop in is that I will always be doing something when they do so.

What do you do?

If I really can’t be interrupted at all (which is very rare) I’d ignore the doorbell. If it’s just inconvenient I’d open the door, chat on the doorstep then say sorry, need to go and finish dinner or whatever. For the most part I’d just pause what I was doing, there aren’t many things I’d prioritise over an opportunity for a catch-up with a friend, most things can wait (I don’t WFH).

StupidSmallFruit · 12/10/2022 19:31

verdantverdure · 12/10/2022 16:46

Those of you who don't mind people just turning up, what do you do if you're cooking dinner, rearranging the living room, in the middle of fixing a tap, sleeping, having sex, in the middle of an exercise routine, in the middle of a serious discussion, in the bath or shower, not in a sociable mood, or someone else in the house isn't, working, studying, or just enjoying a rare moment of having the house to yourself etc

The reason I don't like people go drop in is that I will always be doing something when they do so.

What do you do?

How often does it happen to you that it’s that much of a bother?

With most of those examples, I’d happily drop what I was doing for a catch up.

But most people don’t drop in completely unannounced these days - there’s usually some sort of advance warning, even if it’s just a text.

verdantverdure · 12/10/2022 21:04

Those are the things I was doing the last few times someone arrived unannounced. There was a waxing my legs with inferior false economy wax in there somewhere as well.

FinallyHere · 12/10/2022 21:18

I just don't really understand the dilemma.

If you are busy or just not open to company, don't answer the door or answer, say hello & sorry, would have loved to catch up but ...

Generally I love hosting but wouldn't think twice about saying turning away anyone who turned up unexpectedly.

No drama required.

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