Do you enjoy hosting people/people calling in ?

[thinkimtheodd]

So I admit I'm probably really odd in saying that I don't like people calling to my house. I'm really chatting easy going and get along with everyone but for some reason I hate people coming to my house! I don't know what actually the problem is though. I would love to be the type of person that has people over for dinner etc but I just don't enjoy it when I know it's happening!

Anyone else like this?

Nope, my house is my private, personal space. Visitors aren't welcome, and anyone who thinks about turning up unannounced will find themselves standing on the doorstep because I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting.

Nearly three years at this address, and the only people who have set foot in here since the builders left are myself, my partner (who is genuinely welcome any time they like), and the gas safety engineer.

Best thing about moving here was it coincided with going zero contact with my family, so I no longer even have to make a pretence of offering my mother visits that will never actually materialise just out of politeness, or fret about the possibility of my sibling visiting with their pain-in-the-arse children. They have no idea where I live because I haven't told them. 😆

Depends on the visitors. My partners family, absolutely not, they call in without notice, poke through everything and make rude comments and expect to be fed and runaround after, when dropping in unexpected and unplanned.

His, mine our friends are very welcome, we have a good enough friendship if they outstay their welcome we can politely say we need to get on with things/go to bed, and they will get the hint!

I do a few things that make hosting more pleasant for me, I have a basket of cheap slippers by my door, so guests can remove their shoes, I write the guests name on the sole so they can wear them on their next visit, I hate outside shoes in my house ( a cultural thing where I’m from). I have guest glassware so people don’t break my expensive stuff, have low music on because I have misiphonia and the sound of chewing makes me feel sick, small hacks like that make me really relaxed as I’m not being bothered by my own stupid foibles and can be a relaxed and fun host.

I really enjoy having guests round and putting on a spread. I have a large family , so there’s often lots of people in our home on special occasions. I’m used to the noise & chatter.

Having said that, I don’t really like having unexpected guests, but most people know us well enough not to just turn up without any notice.

My sil lives in a small village where people will just let themselves in her house, they don’t even knock. She doesn’t seem to mind but that would send me loopy. I’d be bolting the door!

I don't mind as long as they don't judge! SIL showed up once at 1130 judged me for still being in PJs, then was mildly offended when I didnt drop everything. I was in the middle of the online shop and had half an hour before the deadline.

I don't like unexpected visitors at all. I'd far rather arrange a time that's convenient for both and then I'm happy to have people round.

Having people just turn up is awful for me. If I look a mess, I feel crap and similarly, I feel ashamed if the house isn't tidy. I'm disabled and struggle with housework and know I shouldn't worry, but I do care. A lot.

Yes I use to love it. my house was an open house and was regularly packed with people dropping round on their way home from work or school pick up.

I wasn't house proud and my friends took me I they found me. 😊

I moved 100s of miles away and unfortunately due to different circumstances now, this hasn't been repeated.

Although I don't host as in dinner parties, I have an open door for visitors.
I love people dropping in for a cuppa and a chat.
A few weeks ago I was having a ' day off ' I was sat on the sofa in my pyjamas, eating left over Chinese from the night before while watching Netflix in an untidy lounge, when a friend unexpected called in.
I didn't care and she made the coffee while I finished my food.
It's all good.

I don’t mind hosting dinners:bbqs etc, as long as it’s planned in advance. Like others have said, I’m not keen on people dropping by unexpectedly.

But what I don’t like anymore is people staying over the night. I much prefer for everyone to go back home afterwards 😅. I just can’t be doing with the volume of work it creates in preparing bedrooms, plus there’s more entertaining to do in the morning the next day. Didn’t mind so much pre-children, but now avoid it at all costs(!)

Can’t bear it, invited or not. Can’t relax when people are here and do not get me started on the “we were just passing”
Arseholes! Rudest thing ever just to knock on someone’s door expecting them to be ready and waiting to host you. Hate it

I love hosting but with notice so I can throw all of dh’s junk in the shed! What I find intrusive & rude are the cheeky fuckers who eat & drink you out of house and home but never reciprocate. I can’t stand people who say they hate hosting but impose their presence in other’s homes. Either meet at a restaurant & pay your own way or don’t accept the invitation in the first place.

My ex sil was like this, always moaned how she hated people and was an introvert so never invited anyone. However, her social anxiety didn’t prevent her from attending events & eating & drinking at someone else’s expense though. Very rude and entitled antisocial behaviour imo.

Completely agree with this too! Had friends who do similar. Never host, but happy to turn up to when others do. The Covid years provided a bit of rest bite for those of us who always host to take stock. We have since stopped inviting a few people who never used to reciprocate…

Yes, I love it, and love going to people’s places.

Luckily DH is exactly the same.

I love heading to the supermarket on a Saturday to pick things up, and then heading home to potter about the kitchen for the rest of the day.

My parents were very gregarious and always has people over. I have lovely childhood memories of a busy, social home, and I want to create the same memories for our DC.

I think I’m the oddity here- I would much prefer a unexpected quick cuppa & a chat than a planned hosting situation.
I like to be alone a lot more than I like to be with people 😂

I liked it, expected and unexpected guests are fine by me.

I enjoy hosting at an agreed time and date. I like looking at recipes and deciding what to cook and spending time and effort on the food and making the house look nice. I find it tiring but enjoyable.

However, I do not enjoy it when people pop round unannounced.

I love it and just wish people would stop by more often, but I have a tiny family and very few friends

I love hosting when it is arranged in advance, I HATE people turning up announced as it is always when the house ie upside down/filthy/ when we have tun out of milk or biscuits.

I love hosting when it is arranged in advance, I HATE people turning up announced as it is always when the house ie upside down/filthy/ when we have tun out of milk or biscuits.

Love it as long as I know in advance. I don't really like people coming by unannounced (but they don't anyway, it's just not the done thing with my circle).

I love it and just wish people would stop by more often, but I have a tiny family and very few friends

That is such a shame when you were born to be hospitable!

I love having visitors, often have family and friends staying overnight, but none of them would just turn up out of the blue.

I love it, the one thing I hate about our house being very small is that it makes it hard to have groups of people over, we can only really do it in summer when we can use the garden. We don't get many unexpected callers, but sometimes friends who live locally might pop round to drop something off or similar and they are welcome to come in for a chat and coffee if I've got time.

I love people coming round, expected or not, but I remember some friends popping by, one of whom is fastidious and whose house is spotless. Mine wasn't that day but he reassured me by saying "we've come to see you not what you've got".

Unless your house is knee deep in mud and smells of cat pee, I promise they're not judging 😊

Im autistic and really guarded about my own space. I can't remember the last time people came over, tbh I don't really mix with people anyway.

Unless your house is knee deep in mud and smells of cat pee, I promise they're not judging 😊

I actually think people are relieved when they see my slightly shabby house and imperfect housekeeping. They can relax and not worry about me judging their home. And although I love to look at a really fancy house, the best times I've had have been sitting around pine tables in kitchens with dubious tiles on the splashback and a random selection of chairs.