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Original poster

Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

402 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 08:50

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 08/10/2022 18:26

Would I fuck be dictated to like that. Ask your partners boss to buy your partner a car, insure it and give him a fuel allowance and then he can dictate to your partner who he's to pick up.

Gilmorehill · 08/10/2022 18:38

Workinghardeveryday · 08/10/2022 18:14

Dp said today he found out yesterday from another colleague that this has been planned for a while.

This young lad has been offered a job, he did have a job before ( I didn’t know this originally), left that job for this one because he was promised a lift and back everyday!

it just gets worse!

Oh poor kid. The onus is on the one who offered him that lift though.

Mammajay · 08/10/2022 18:39

On the days he does give a lift, if he does, he should definitely tell the man where he will pick him up..not in the estate but somewhere more convenient.

Daleksatemyshed · 08/10/2022 18:43

Yes, he's young and he's been promised a lift by their boss but you shouldn't make promises for other people. It's not your DH's job to sort out this young man's life.
First thing Monday your DH needs to man up and talk to his boss. He made no promises and he doesn't want to do this so the only way out is to have an honest conversation. Either his boss makes it worth your DH's while to take this guy to work or he accepts that he isn't allowed to impose on your DH. I feel sorry for the new guy but he's been lied to and doesn't have a clue that he's being a problem.

Tessabelle74 · 08/10/2022 18:48

Tell your DP to insist he's given the work van permanently if he's to give this lad a lift. No way he should be using his own vehicle as he'd beef to get business insurance never mind the extra wear and tear and fuel

TimBoothseyes · 08/10/2022 18:49

What happens if your DP is off sick or on holiday? How is the person going to get in to work then?

Buggersticks · 08/10/2022 18:49

Well it's not dps responsibility, and they had no right telling him what to do without asking first. However I can see it makes sense. Personally I like driving alone, singing along to music etc. Hope colleague contributes to fuel...

Janlet · 08/10/2022 18:50

Charge the passenger I'm sure that they will be understanding and be happy to pay for the running costs of being a friendly taxi. It's a bit of company on the way to work and back.

bewarethetides · 08/10/2022 18:52

The person that promised him a lift to and from the job should be the person providing the lift.

Your husband can and should say no. He is not contracted to be driving someone else to and from work, and he's not insured for it, which he will need to be if this is now a 'requirement'. What happens if there's an accident, whether his fault or not?

memorial · 08/10/2022 18:53

What if he went to the gym after work or the pub or his sick mother or picked a kid up or any thing really. Likewise mornings. He may well have other responsibilities. This is not on.

Quietquil · 08/10/2022 18:58

The new employee.

Aquilaboy · 08/10/2022 19:03

Many people can't understand that a man's car is his private space and that any unwanted passenger is an invasion of personnel space. Got nothing to do with dirty clothes!

ScruffMuffin · 08/10/2022 19:03

I was in a similar situation once... got the job and was then told I'd be picking up two other employees on my way in every day, as my predecessor had done! The difference is, they already had a system in place of waiting on the roadside, paying 25p per day (it was only a few miles, and 20 years ago) and they knew that if they weren't there at X time, it was tough luck. They were always on time. Due to the arrangement they'd already worked out, I didn't mind doing it. HOWEVER, your DP's boss has been totally out of order here. I think he needs to have a chat to him about using the work van to do it, or taking turns with someone else, or not doing it at all.

Regarding the moped idea, could DP get one too? Then he can't give lifts! I'm only half-joking...

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2022 19:03

can your dp borrow a motorbike for a few weeks? just tell them the car is not available and use a motorbike to get to work - bit difficult to give a lift then

if he is offered the van he can just say oh thanks but no thanks

then leave them all to it

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2022 19:04

ScruffMuffin cross posts both at 7.03 lol

BlueMongoose · 08/10/2022 19:04

Workinghardeveryday · 08/10/2022 18:14

Dp said today he found out yesterday from another colleague that this has been planned for a while.

This young lad has been offered a job, he did have a job before ( I didn’t know this originally), left that job for this one because he was promised a lift and back everyday!

it just gets worse!

The boss had no business offering him a lift in your partner's car. Not unless he is paying your partner for doing it, which is compliactes with tax anyway. It's also well out of order to expect anyone to do a detour to collect a lift.

GUARDIAN1 · 08/10/2022 19:05

I think it's unreasonable to expect a permanent chauffeur service for the new guy. If you DP wants to offer a lift occasionally, all well and good. It would be different if it was a colleague/friend he already knows and likes but even then only on a voluntary basis. Feels like it would be a massive invasion of his personal space, not to mention the inconvenience of added time on occasions.

ScruffMuffin · 08/10/2022 19:05

@ivykaty44 Ha ha!

Quietquil · 08/10/2022 19:05

As long as you are using the work van I understand the boss not asking. What needs to happen now is for your partner to ask him some questions. I would tell the boss I am happy to do it while I have the van, but that you don't want other people in your personal vehicle. Then ask the boss if he wants to lend the van to the new guy if he want you to keep driving it. The boss shouldn't have any problems. And if he does, then maybe your partner should seek new employment options.

BlueMongoose · 08/10/2022 19:06

bewarethetides · 08/10/2022 18:52

The person that promised him a lift to and from the job should be the person providing the lift.

Your husband can and should say no. He is not contracted to be driving someone else to and from work, and he's not insured for it, which he will need to be if this is now a 'requirement'. What happens if there's an accident, whether his fault or not?

Good point. When my DH was asked to use his car for work, he was a) given an allowance for it, and b) we had to add his use of it for his work to our car insurance, which cost a little more.

SmudgeButt · 08/10/2022 19:08

DP should consider if this means he's using his own vehicle for business affects his motor insurance. If he has an accident on the way to colleague's place and then to/from work some companies may not cover him. The only way around this world be for the colleague to come to DP who then drives directly to work.

AutumnCrow · 08/10/2022 19:10

SmudgeButt · 08/10/2022 19:08

DP should consider if this means he's using his own vehicle for business affects his motor insurance. If he has an accident on the way to colleague's place and then to/from work some companies may not cover him. The only way around this world be for the colleague to come to DP who then drives directly to work.

Yup.

INSURANCE!

ivykaty44 · 08/10/2022 19:13

On a serious note

your dh needs to check with his car insurance whether he is insured for picking up a colleague and taking them to work - especially if money for petrol changes hands - this could well invalidate his insurance. Google this and pull see plenty of articles about insurance companies wiggling out of paying insurance for giving lifts etc

get your dp to give them a ring and see where he stands

I refused to drive my car from one work place to another, as the insurance was an extra £100 per year at the time and work refused to pay it - so I got the bus instead (which those that didn't drive did anyway) work didn't like it but there wasn't much they could do as driving wasn't part of my job and others got the bus. Strangely it was work that told us we had to have the correct insurance and thus I checked and was told it was extra in my case.

Jellicoe · 08/10/2022 19:14

It's not OP's partner obligation to take colleague to work. If he gets fired for refusing then it's def one for the Employment board! And he won't lose!

Murdoch1949 · 08/10/2022 19:15

Totally appreciate your partner's viewpoint. I found it very restricting to have someone rely on me. I used to get them to walk to the nearby road on my route, so I could just stop and they climb in, when I occasionally did it. Be wary of affecting your car insurance if you do this and accept expenses, unless insurance is for business use as well. I just liked the me-time in the car, 30 mins before I returned to my 4 at home teenagers. I also liked the freedom of being able to do tasks like pop to library, collect parcels, pick up a take-away. Until you're tied in to a co-passenger you don't realise the restrictions it brings! I'm with your partner, when not using work's van refuse to do it.

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