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Original poster

Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

402 replies

Workinghardeveryday · 07/10/2022 08:50

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

OP posts:
HowzAboutIt · 08/10/2022 19:18

If it is now part of his work commitments, then I hope his boss has explained that he will get paid from the minute he picks colleague up, to when he is dropped off. Plus his insurance extra will be covered

blusteryshowersaway · 08/10/2022 19:20

HowzAboutIt · 08/10/2022 19:18

If it is now part of his work commitments, then I hope his boss has explained that he will get paid from the minute he picks colleague up, to when he is dropped off. Plus his insurance extra will be covered

And his fuel is paid for.

StaunchMomma · 08/10/2022 19:24

CaronPoivre · 07/10/2022 08:51

Buy some seat covers, charge to expenses and be a bit kinder. Why would you not give a lift?

This has nothing to do with kindness, it's about having the piss taken out of you by management.

It would be a firm no from me. What happens when your DP is sick or takes annual leave? And besides that, his car is his personal space and it's in no way up to his employer to decide who he does or doesn't want in it!

HowzAboutIt · 08/10/2022 19:24

@blusteryshowersaway - I didnt add that as boss could say getting to work is part of OPDH responsibilities. But picking someone up isnt!

treesandweeds · 08/10/2022 19:26

Is your dh such a wet lettuce that he can't even say to the man, wait at the end of x road at the end of the estate and I'll pick you up there? Why is he even driving to his door?
And then he needs to woman up and say when he gets his car back the arrangement ends!

RoseJam · 08/10/2022 19:27

It is not really a sustainable solution. What will the lad do when your DH is on holiday or sick?

Is your DP more annoyed about not being asked or about having to give a lift?

I think your DP has a right to do what he feels is best. If he doesn't want to give a lift, then he should say so and not go into lengthy explanations why. However, if he wants to help a young lad out, then he should state his expectations eg be on time, pay for petrol, clean clothes, walk to somewhere easier to pick up/drop off - ie be helpful and kind on your DP's terms.

kateandme · 08/10/2022 19:29

I don’t know about this because every van I see going in have sets of different men in there in their way to work. And some getting picked up on the side of the road.and some abiting outside Tesco’s. So tbh I assumed this was the norm.

Hmm1234 · 08/10/2022 19:31

Seriously dp is upset he has a new colleague and cannot blast his music. Is he living in la la land

Nbo · 08/10/2022 19:32

Don’t do it! I started this with a colleague who doesn’t drive. She was paying £50 a week in bud fair so asked if she could pay me £10 for lifts. I agreed as it didn’t seem to much bother at first. Fast forward a couple of years the payments of £10 didn’t last past the first couple of months and the lifts ended up her being dropped off in different places- ‘can you drop me at tesco tonight?’, ‘do you mind just nipping me to shop on way home?’ Etc and as much as people said say no it’s hard!
It’s tying too. Some nights I wanted to do my own errands on my way home and couldn’t until I’d taken her first.
im also like your husband. That 20 minute journey is my time to blast the music, have a sing or just to have some me time!

ConkerBonkers · 08/10/2022 19:41

Could he say that he's only covered for commuting, not for business travel, and he's concerned his insurance would be invalidated were he to be in an accident with a colleague inhis car, so he just doesn't feel comfortable with the arrangement

LannieDuck · 08/10/2022 19:43

Would your DP feel better doing it if his work pays for his petrol and his time on the commute?

Not saying he should carry on giving lifts, but if he feels he's got no choice at least make the company pay for it.

Heysnuggee · 08/10/2022 19:44

I would absolutely hate this, I mean I'll give colleagues a lift if they need one but everyday I would hate hate hate. The commute is the only time I get to myself. It's not unreasonable for him to say to his manager he's happy to do it (if he is) as long as his time and fuel is paid for or if he can carry on using the work van (if he wants to).

Ratherperplexed · 08/10/2022 19:48

You need business insurance if conveying other employees from home to work.

In addition, mileage from home to other employee's address should be in DP's time and cost of fuel.

From other employee's house to work and same at end of the day needs to be paid (time and fuel at employers cost to your DP).

Perhaps employer could put new employee through driving lessons OR do the journey himself. DP needs to ask boss, what he expects new employee to do when DP is on A/L or if going elsewhere in opposite direction after work.

Employer being totally unreasonable

Hagpie · 08/10/2022 20:02

So he’s benefited from being able to get to work by being given a work van to use and he’s sulking that he doesn’t want to pass that generosity forward?

Heysnuggee · 08/10/2022 20:06

Hagpie · 08/10/2022 20:02

So he’s benefited from being able to get to work by being given a work van to use and he’s sulking that he doesn’t want to pass that generosity forward?

Presumably if the colleague can drive they'll be offered the van when the OPs DH hands it back- doesn't sound like they can though and when he is back to using his own vehicle things will be different again.

Kennykenkencat · 08/10/2022 20:06

Hagpie · 08/10/2022 20:02

So he’s benefited from being able to get to work by being given a work van to use and he’s sulking that he doesn’t want to pass that generosity forward?

For a few days

The work van isn’t a permanent perk.

Crazykefir · 08/10/2022 20:08

Unkind attitude to both his boss and the young lad. It's the norm in construction to pick up colleagues. especially in the circumstances,work van, it's a young person, lack of transport, skills shortage...........

WTAFhappened123 · 08/10/2022 20:08

This happened to me! It’s so rude not to ask privately first. The commute to work is sometimes your ‘down time’ for you to listen to music or audio book not to have to make small talk with a stranger! I would say to boss something like he goes to gym straight from work or to a relatives house and this doesn’t suit?

stacyvaron · 08/10/2022 20:12

He's driving the company van free of charge, so no, it's not unreasonable to ask him to pick up the new guy. Jeez, what happened to helping others?? Makes me wonder about the world these days...

Fraaahnces · 08/10/2022 20:18

Well, DH can tell the kid that he won’t be driving into the estate. He will need to be ready and waiting at the road or DH will keep driving.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 08/10/2022 20:19

stacyvaron · 08/10/2022 20:12

He's driving the company van free of charge, so no, it's not unreasonable to ask him to pick up the new guy. Jeez, what happened to helping others?? Makes me wonder about the world these days...

He's driving it temporarily. Then will be driving his own vehicle. Why should OP put himself out everyday?

Kennykenkencat · 08/10/2022 20:20

stacyvaron · 08/10/2022 20:12

He's driving the company van free of charge, so no, it's not unreasonable to ask him to pick up the new guy. Jeez, what happened to helping others?? Makes me wonder about the world these days...

What about when he gets his car back and the days when they aren’t working at the same place and he has to go out of his way to drop off or collect.

RedToothBrush · 08/10/2022 20:25

So what happens on days your DH isn't working?

Sorry, but this isn't fair to be expected to do it all the time. I've been there before and its the loss of family time thats not ok. 'Just 15mins' really is.

Its the responsibility of it.

Iseestupidpeople · 08/10/2022 20:25

He need to man up and talk to the boss. It’s not in his contract. And he is not insured to carry other people on his own car for work purposes. Tell boss he needs extra pay for this or it’s not happening as it’s not part of his job.

Redladybirdbaglady · 08/10/2022 20:29

I absolutely feel the frustration here. My commute is literally the only time i get to myself and having to hold a conversation in that time would just drain me. I hired someone recently who doesn't drive (we are fairly rural, there is public transport but it's a long journey) and it was definitely a consideration. It was only agreed once they had thoroughly researched the journey and confirmed they were happy about it. Eventually someone in the team offered of their own volition, they share costs and the newbie makes their own way to a reasonable place so it's not out of the way. For your DP's guy not to offer to do either is ridiculous, I would definitely be laying the groundwork for it not to continue when the work van goes back.

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