Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

[Workinghardeveryday]

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

Not read many PPs but your DP should not agree to this arrangement. Why did the boss hire this person if he cannot get to work without a permanent lift?
Aside from the ''me time'' for DH - what if he needs to give family members lifts - like children to school or other commitments? Also there's the responsibility of some else always in car regarding accidents and insurance. Is the other person learning to drive? If not - why not? If DP cannot get out of it he should definitely expect petrol money.

I know a fair few people who work in construction and other trades and it seems quite common to give lifts to apprentices. My family members have been both the apprentices being picked up and the older workers giving the lifts. In any other type of job you wouldn't accept a job with no way of getting there. I would be annoyed being forced to give a lift every day so get where your husband is coming from, his boss could have had the decency to ask.

'Be kinder' one of the cop outs! My school appointed a TA and told her that JudgeJ will give you a lift every day and they were really angry when I said I wouldn't ahen they gor around to 'telling' me. Driving to and from work used to be my very peaceful time of day and although I gave emergency lifts when people's cars were in dock I wanted to travel in alone.

I'm all for helping others and can see how this would be a nice thing to do occasionally if it suited your DH. But it does not and will not suit him every day. If this is going to be part of his responsibilities going forward then surely he needs to be given a vehicle and allowed to do this in work time. Does his car insurance cover him driving a colleague for work purposes?

OP his boss is taking the piss. He pays your DH to do a job on set hours and has no claim over the other hours in the day, and he certainly doesn't have the right to just tell your DH to be a taxi service. It's the principle of the thing.

Thank you all so much for all the advice.

Talked to dp tonight and read out your posts.

He has decided to wait until he has a date to get his car back. He is then going to say to boss he cannot continue with the lifts. No explanation as to why not.

If this is questioned, he will ask why another employee (only one with a van permanently) can’t do the drop off pick up. This employee fills up with fuel at the yard, dp is currently putting his own fuel in!

Dp feels bad for this new lad. He had another job and has moved over to his work on what looks like a promise of a lift.

He needs to say, he will be glad of going 50/50 on the petrol. then make it clear the other person needs to clean up before getting into the car. And then put his music on as loud as he likes. His car. He's doing the driving. The other one can make alternative arrangements if he doesn't want to help pay for petrol and clean up first.

His insurance may be invalidated by car sharing. That could be an easy get out.
Also this....www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/life-style/cars/923121/car-insurance-invalidated-giving-someone-lift/amp

Easiest solution for the new guy is a moped. No license required for up to 125cc and they are fairly nippy. I have one when we lived in Spain and lived it.

Could the new lad not at least be cycling to your house in the mornings and cycling back from yours in the evenings instead of your partner needing to go out of his way? But I think he should deffo address with his boss and deffo not be going out of his own way in your local area or to other sites than his own for drop offs and collections

I actually can’t believe people write to be kinder ! Seriously, it’s got nothing to do with being kind ! why do we all have to “be kind” and drop a stranger to work! Just no

I’d be annoyed , I like my own space in my car in the mornings and this situation especially with someone I don’t know is just not acceptable.

Sorry no real advise on this situation op but I’m deffo with your DP on this one .

‘Be a bit kinder’ is actually an unkind thing to say. Some people really need that quiet drive home as a valuable time between work and home.

Can the other employee use the work van or get a bike? They need to figure their own route & not rely on others who are not obligated in any way.

I’d only do it if it was fully expensed etc & its worthwhile plus I’d start with making it clear its on a trial basis for (whatever time) & then if I’d rather not, then it stops. No need to come up with excuses, simply not your job to sort out other peoples transport.

Cant believe that some people think this is ok. Its really weird and i would be having serious doubts about the boss. If people want to carry share that's fine but it is their decision. I wouldnt. I like my own space and what if you want to leave early etc? Especially at this person has no other way in or out. I would say no and start looking for souther job that didn't take liberties with boundaries.

I'd be seriously annoyed. Everyone in different and some people get really anxious being alone with someone they don't know well. It's very much restricting the driver too. Shouldn't have accepted job if no means of getting to work. I don't think he can be forced to do it x

Totally agree Josie. Aw it's just Jeffrey (Dahmer) but let's be kind and give him a lift.

My commute is my down time between work and family life and is not something I’d regularly share. I’m giving but not at the expense of my own life balance. Outrageous.

Private time to and from work is exactly that!

If you count the commute to work as part of work because you're giving a colleague a lift and its from the boss then you should be paid!

This is more than just a favour and it's been forced on your DP. Think he's doing the right thing to just put up with it until he gets his car back and then say he can't do it anymore. He's not a chauffeur and people sometimes have stuff to do before/after work, so to be obliged to always get another person to work and home isn't fair. The boss also offered the guy the job without even checking with your DP if it would be ok as an ongoing situation. That would irritate me if I was your DP.

Dp said today he found out yesterday from another colleague that this has been planned for a while.

This young lad has been offered a job, he did have a job before ( I didn’t know this originally), left that job for this one because he was promised a lift and back everyday!

it just gets worse!

I think your partner should speak to HR.

I knew that would be construction! This is not a case of ‘ being kind’ taxis are not charities. If driving someone else is part of his job, then he should be paid from when he picks him up - from when he starts working- until he drops him off.

I used to work somewhere where a manager would employ only people who could give her a lift, as didn’t drive 😖

Omg that's ridiculous 😔 I'd have just made something up for that day.

The boss is well out of order saying your DH will give lifts forever without even asking him first !