Grandparents asking what they should buy for presents

[ThirstyMeeples]

What are people's thoughts on this? I feel irritated if I'm honest but that's probably because I'm endlessly busy and it feels like another job to do. My kids are 13,11 and 9 and quite tricky to buy for. I have a hard enough time thinking of what to get them myself.
I feel both sets of grandparents don't even attempt to think of an idea (and they are involved and interested in other ways so no excuse about not knowing what they like)
I'm probably just feeling grumpy and think it's linked to being so busy all the time.
I usually end up researching and often ordering the presents for them (and sometimes even wrapping!) so I just get a bit frustrated and wish they'd at least try.
Anyone else the same or do you happily provide ideas??

The last two Xmas gifts I bought for my now 13yo dgs are still lying unused in his bedroom, along with a bunch of gifts from other family members. He's getting cash this year.

No I feel exactly the same. Especially the family members who do this a few days before the bday. Just give them money if you don’t know what to get.

Gift vouchers or money. Job done

Money for swimming lessons/cinema trip. No thinking required (it is annoying!)

So send ideas. Don't order and no wrapping....
Restrain yourself op !!

Tell them to take them shopping?

I'm happy to avoid duplication! I sometimes need to send links or other times just give a general idea.

Sometimes they ask if a certain item was suitable and I can just give a yes or no answer.

I help MIL make Charity shoeboxes as well (not Samaritians Purse, local charity) to get the ages right

God grandparents can’t win can they….they are likely asking as kids of that age are very particular and they want to get them something they like and as parents you are likely to know best….l talk about fucking ungrateful

Can the GPs not ask the children directly?

Some other ideas: if the GPs are involved usually, could they plan a memorable day out with your children? Visit somewhere, day out, trip to the beach, sporting event, something like that. Pre-Christmas theatre trip? Or would your kids like a bigger, joint present, something along the lines of a games console but probably not that.

How is telling someone what gift to buy a job or a hassle??
Tell them £50 in a card, done.

Oops, I ask my daughter what to get my granddaughter, just incase there's anything they particularly need/want. If she says "We don't even know what we're getting her yet!" (which she said the other day 😄) I just say, no worries I've got a couple of ideas and I'll give you some money for her savings account. Not a big issue is it, or should I shut up?!

I'd just say vouchers. Waterstones, Amazon, Nandos etc.

I am happy to provide ideas, in the same way that I need my sisters to tell me what their kids are into. What does annoy me is after providing the ideas I then get a constant stream of “I’m in this shop, looking at this completely different thing, would DS like that?” - either go with one of the ideas you asked for or use your own initiative I think.

Kids those ages are always tricky to buy for. Making suggestions keeps everyone happy. I make sure the suggestions I give are easy to acquire. Normally that means finding something that they can purchase someplace they regularly shop or that they can just order from Amazon. If I suggest something esoteric, then I do expect to need to do the shopping, so I save those purchases for me or for the aunts and uncles who are more comfortable shopping online.

Its great that GPs ask - they want to get it right, avoid duplication etc

But honestly, it’s just another part of wife work that breaks my head. Like I’m in charge of everyone’s happiness all the time. I especially find it difficult when DHs family messages me not him about this.

Good grief OP, they are trying to do a good thing by asking instead of getting the wrong thing and you find that irritating? Just ask your children and tell the grandparents. It's not difficult. You can't win with some people

Some really good ideas thanks. I did suggest a shopping trip but they didn't take me up on that. I also suggested doing some browsing with the kids online. One set of grandparents aren't great at online stuff hence why I find a suggestion but then end up ordering it too.
Im honestly not ungrateful and appreciate I'm super lucky compared to how some other grandparents are. It's more a reflection of how busy I am and how little capacity I have for extra tasks. I think because I find it hard to buy for them, it's not like I have a million suggestions up my sleeve. I kind of wish they'd do a bit of the leg work because I bet they could come up with stuff I hadn't thought of.
I like the experience/ voucher idea though. Thanks

I would say yours are at the perfect age to be taken shopping. What a great idea!

I know what you mean, but find I do it myself when buying for kids in my sons class (age 5).

The thing that really gets me is...when instructions are ignored. I asked for good quality trousers for my daughters birthday this year and got a pile of dresses from one GP and a pile of flimsy leggings from the other.

I think it's vastly better that they ask you rather than buying things the kids may not want, or you may not want the kids to have, or may already have bought. Check out the vast numbers of threads where people complain about grandparents and aunts etc buying gifts for kids that the parents don't like.

At those ages, though, cash, gift vouchers, or them asking the kids directly may well be the way to go.

Im probably the opposite tbh. I buy ds13 way too much then start panicking about cost. When family ask what they can get him i usually have a pile they can choose from. They get to give stuff i know he'll like and i get to recover costs. Win win

That'sthewayilikeit- I think that sounds perfect and hopefully works well for your family. My issue is I don't have a big list so end up having to do more research etc. I like the fact that, if they don't suggest anything, you have a few ideas. That's a perfect balance I think.

Ungrateful and entitled comes to mind

As a grandmother of 10 and 6 year old boys I suggest something to their mother and she comes back with something she knows they would like. She's with them 24/7 and I can't keep up with the changes in kids favourite characters/toys/games. YABU.

I always have this from my mil and it’s very annoying. Have to order it and wrap it.

However, if she occasionally does/did in the past order anything, it was always from Amazon, very low quality (not a brand, usually a Chinese knock off) and sometimes unsafe and normally totally age inappropriate. So overall it’s better this way although I do think it’s a tad lazy and a shame because sometimes others have a different perspective on gifts.

If I ask my kids they say vague things like... 'something really good and a surprise' 🙄😄😄 honestly about as much use as a chocolate teapot.