I almost died in the stupidest way

[Chloefairydust]

So I woke up with the worst of sore throats, and I’m the kind of person who when I come down with a cold, it literally drags on for weeks and weeks and normally leads to a chest infection.

That is until I discovered the gross but effective cure of raw garlic. I read somewhere that if you swallow a small whole raw small garlic clove with a glass of water that it cures the common cold. It actually does work as well. I have been doing this for the past couple of years.

Until this morning, and somehow this garlic clove was just the right shape to get lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow or make a sound. I was home alone and sooo frightened. Somehow I managed to hit my own chest with my head facing down and spat out the offending garlic. So I almost died in the stupidest of ways….

I think now on I’m going to chop the garlic into tiny pieces to cure a cold.

But thought I would warn people who might be as stupid as me not to kill yourself with garlic 🧄

If you have had a near death experience in a similarly stupid way please share to make me feel less of an idiot?

I did a similar thing with arm bands around my ankles!!

My other near death experience was when I put a whole large satsuma in my mouth which blocked my airways and I couldn't open my mouth wide enough to get it out or get my fingers in too to lever it out! Luckily I was in the kitchen and got a fork so I could stab it and pull it out, I was probably about 9, but still remember so clearly a billion years later!

When I was a kid I decided to put my float arm bands on my ankles and nearly drowned hahahaha.

Creating a wonderful Mumsnet classic here 🤩

Oh my! This has had me chuckling to myself like a loon for at least the last 5 minutes. Thanks for the giggle. Hope you an the kitchen were OK. Guessing the watering can did not survive the experience.

I nearly died by being hit by a bus whilst protecting a hedgehog.

Hedgehog was ambling about in the middle of the road so I tried ushering & gently nudging it to the other side.

Stupid bloody hedgehog took its time & had nearly reached the pavement when a bus careered round the corner & narrowly missed me as I stood over it, arms outstretched.

My DC were stood on the other side of the road white-faced as they thought their mum had been run over by a bus.

Hedgehog then whiffled off into a garden. Didn't give a shit that I'd saved its life. Spiny wee bastard.

Thankfully neither were me but I know someone who stuck his hand in a food processor to check the blades were moving correctly. Everyone screamed and he thankfully caught it before it could turn horrendous. I also knew someone who died demolishing a building from the inside.

You're a good person.

what a stupid thing to say. garlic has lots of healing properties. including antiviral.

I have the most appalling black sense of humour, and this cracked me up so much I couldn’t breathe! 🤣

I did it with pickled beetroot. I was at home alone and it was scary . I actually felt my vision blurring as I couldn't breath

Be thankful it wasn't Threadworms you had 😂
www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/894121-to-want-to-quit-my-job-NOW-and-never-ever?reply=36789661

There is no evidence that garlic cures the common cold or fights viruses.

I believe chicken soup helps cure the common cold, but I don’t think there is any evidence to prove it.

We all have our old wives’ tales.

Yes there is. A PP posted a link to this 2020 article

My friend did this when her son was a baby and she was sleep deprived. She was mushing up his food in a food processor, it jammed she stuck her fingers in a it restarted. It chopped her skin down to the bone and took a really long time to heal.

I nearly drowned a few weeks back.
I was on holiday abroad and felt a bit hot and woozy, so thought I'd get in the pool to cool off.
I got in, waded to where it was deep enough to swim and headed to the deep end. I realised I want getting any closer, which I remember thinking was strange...
I then 'came to' with a jolt and realised I was under water. I really struggled to get back to the surface and when I did I was still really struggling to swim. I had also taken water as I was spluttering and choking. I made my way back to the edge of the pool and sat there felling very shaken. I was also shocked that no-one had tried to help me. The life guards were only a few metres away and there were lots of people were around the pool. The only thing I can think of was that it happened a lot faster than it felt to me.
I realised afterwards that it was a change in medication dosage that had done it, that I'd done the day before. I had no idea that I could be affected that badly.
I'm shaking at the thought of it, just writing it down.

When I was a kid (6 year old) my parents where having a dinner party and sent me and their friends kid outside to play, it was getting dark and we where board but found a compass (the kind for drawing circles).

To this day I dont know how it happened, must have been a MILLION to one shot and I wouldnt believe it if I hadn't seen it myself but...

We decided to stab the football with the compass and try to pop it, we had each tried a few times with no luck when my friend tried to stab it really hard, it pinged off the ball slipping out of her hand and... went UP her nose.

Fully up her nose, perfect direct shot all the way to the hinge point, we off course FREAKED out pulled it out and rushed inside... blood everywhere. Parents where not remotely concerned, gave her some tissues for the 'nose bleed' and sent us back outside.

She litrally had a spike about 10 cm into her skull and our parents where like 'ssshhhhh... mummies talking, its just a nose bleed' lol.

The fact it went right up her nose without cutting her face was increadible, I bet we could never recreate it in a million years, basically like throwing a dart and getting someone in the nostril just an increadible shot... suppose were lucky no one lost an eye.

She did survive by the way, it eventually stopped bleeding still dont think our parents ever comprehended what we where telling them happened though.

I got launched across a room trying to fish bread out of a toaster with a metal knife.

the toaster was unplugged but my mate walked in and tried to ‘save’ me with a spectacular rugby tackle

Oh no 😱🤣

To be fair this does sound like something I would actually do!

I have been known to stick garlic in my foo to cure thrush 🤣 … It does actually work but my God does it stink to high heaven , Haha

It's not some kind of miracle cure for everything and anything, but it does help. Tested on myself more than once.

But as it's very strong, it's better to chop it in very small bits and mix it with something neutral, like boiled rice. On its own, and especially taken in one lump, it's bound to irritate your stomach, never mind getting stuck in the trachea.

It's a bit like essential oils - some people "try them" by using not just few drops but a ridiculously high dosage undiluted and their skin gets literally burned, and then they say essential oils are rubbish.

As for "stupid way to die", is there an "intelligent" way to die? I had few very close calls - most of them of the most ordinary kind (road accidents) and one rather unusual - didn't make much difference - I was still equally glad to be still alive in one piece.

I had read about wooden toast tongs on Mumsnet so bought some.

My brush with death was playing the fainting game. It is well known now as a few children have sadly died. I played it when I was 9 in 1962. I was with two other girls in a shed. I fainted but obviously didn't die! The other two girls wisely decided not to play after that. I came to and muttered the cliche "Where am I?"

I very gently sniffed a jar of chloroform to see what it smelled like, and only realised at the last second that if I passed out I'd drop the whole jar, which would probably smash, and then everyone in the room might pass out and die. Luckily I got it onto a table while everything went black round the edges.

Oh me too! I’m on my second tissue, I’m crying with laughing.

Garlic has been helping me for years. Always chopped it though!

I set fire to DH about a month into dating in the same way... he had beautiful 80s hair metal type hair, I lit a cigarette as he leant in for a hug and woosh.

He dropped and rolled, I stamped on his head... I still count that as the moment I realised I loved him, something about seeing him on fire was like an epiphany lol.

We're still together now so solid dating advice, if you like him just set him on fire lol.

I've nominated for Classics. I need to be able to come back & read these again after crap days at work.

As for "stupid way to die", is there an "intelligent" way to die?

Old age, in my own bed after a marathon sex session with a Chris Hemsworth sexbot?