I almost died in the stupidest way

[Chloefairydust]

So I woke up with the worst of sore throats, and I’m the kind of person who when I come down with a cold, it literally drags on for weeks and weeks and normally leads to a chest infection.

That is until I discovered the gross but effective cure of raw garlic. I read somewhere that if you swallow a small whole raw small garlic clove with a glass of water that it cures the common cold. It actually does work as well. I have been doing this for the past couple of years.

Until this morning, and somehow this garlic clove was just the right shape to get lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow or make a sound. I was home alone and sooo frightened. Somehow I managed to hit my own chest with my head facing down and spat out the offending garlic. So I almost died in the stupidest of ways….

I think now on I’m going to chop the garlic into tiny pieces to cure a cold.

But thought I would warn people who might be as stupid as me not to kill yourself with garlic 🧄

If you have had a near death experience in a similarly stupid way please share to make me feel less of an idiot?

I became unwell over 10 days ago at the same time as my husband who immediately tested positive. It took a week for me to test positive but I'm certain I've had it from the start too. Lateral flow tests are nowhere as good as the PCRs. Hope you feel better soon.

We used to keep our mezzaluna on top of the kitchen cupboards. I've moved it now - that's an accident I don't want to wait to happen.

Opened a cupboard and the blade from the food processor fell out, so I went to catch it. It buried itself deep into my my hand.

I was exhausted I used food processor to grate carrots and the carrot was lodged. Instead of turning it off and taking the lid off I used a chef knife to dislodge it. I felt the air moving as the knife flew past my head, pulled my pony tail out, and landed upright and firmly lodged in the granite work top.

These are all straight out of Final Destination: MN

It's possible to become allergic to something you've been eating for years.

Oh flashbacks to doing this with: a bran flake,shell shaped pasta and a piece of chewing gum

I've taken garlic in this way; agree it does seem to help a sore throat. Problem with chopping it into pieces is that it is a lot smellier on your digestive system.

I went away last year and was so paranoid about a cough that came on just before I was due to fly home, I bought some capsules at the pharmacy. I had swallowed a few of them and thought they weren't working so, whilst in the queue ready to board the plane I decided to suck on one instead (couldn't read the instructions) all of a sudden I couldn't even swallow my saliva and my throat felt like it was was closing up, struggled to breath was only able to take mini breaths and I couldn't speak. I quickly googled it. 'DO NOT SUCK OR BREAK - If allergic can lead to sudden death' I was so scared but boarded the plane and just prayed I didn't did on the 10 hour journey back home! Turns out it was a capsule filled with local anesthetic!

Did not did

Years and years ago after a heavy night out, I was having a house party in my student accommodation and we were all doing poppers. For those who don't know, they are bottles of liquid that give you a weird high when you stiff the liquid. A friend of mine told me you can make the high even better by dipping your cigarette into the poppers liquid and smoking it.

Enticed by this novel idea, I duly dipped my cigarette into the amyl nitrate and lit it. To my genuine (and misplaced) shock, it exploded into a small fireball and burnt off the eyelashes and eyebrows off one side of my face. Quick thinker that I was, I took off my slipper and hastily extinguished the kindling embers of my lashes.

The smell of burnt hair lingered in the air for days and it took a while for my eyelashes and eyebrows to grow back.

Epic stupidity. Turns out my friend had been joking and never in a million years thought I would be so stupid as to actually dip my cigarette into poppers and light it.

I don't drink, smoke or take poppers anymore.

Apparently then I’m the only person who thought it was a CAN of Bud.

Entstoryench - PMSL!

I don't know why but this has really made me laugh. And the poster below you who, if I understood correctly smacked, themselves in the face with their slippers to put out their eyelashes.

There's tears, I'm wheezing and I think I may wet myself.

I tried to move a rock that was on the bottom of the lake where we jump in to swim, I was scared someone would dive in and hit their head on it so I thought I should move it. I swam underwater to reach it and pick it up and thought I'd just swim back up and move it somewhere else, but of course the rock was heavy and stopped me being able to swim back up. For several moments I just kept trying to swim and not understanding why I wasn't going anywhere until I finally realised it was the rock I was holding! Managed to toss it to the side before I ran out of air completely

I also did the armbands on the ankles thing. I was 5 and had to be dragged out of the pool by a lifeguard. Did the same 2 days later to prove to my cousins that you couldn’t float with them on your feet. Dragged out by the lifeguard again. Banned from the pool for the rest of the holiday. Chest infection from inhaling pool water.

Almost choked on a profiterole at Christmas dinner. Had to be saved by DSis. Exact same thing happened the following Christmas despite cutting it in half and giving it extra chews. Any kind of choux pastry now banned at family gatherings.

Knocked myself out and gave myself concussion jumping up under the cooker hood. Ex came home to me sprawled on the floor.

Ran across a road in flip flops in the rain. Slipped in to the path of an oncoming car. Didn’t even need to cross the road, and if I had there was a crossing about 10 meters away.

• Walking back from a festival late at night in the dark, I needed a wee. Knickers down, squatted down next to a tree- right on top of a thistle and multiple nettle plants!

• I was a competent skiier as a pre-teen and copying another child, when I got on the T-Bar, instead of sitting on 1 side, I straddled it with the centre pole between my legs. At the end, I couldn't get it out, so started skiing up the massive pile of icy/snow towards the mechanics of the lift- until they stopped it and told me off

• About 15, sitting and floating in a large, inflatable ring on a famous surf beach abroad. Massive wave came and washed me over- so face in the water and ring absolutely stuck on my arse and unable to get it off or turn over for a breath! Wave after wave came until I finally landed on the beach- absolutely covered in seaweed and sand, and have never used a ring in the sea again

It was the 80's and my mate had quite a fluffy hairdo. Used loads of hairspray. We were at work and nipped out the back for a fag. As she went to light it, someone walked past and she set fire to her hair instead of her fag. I laughed and even more so when she began screaming and smacking herself in the head. She put herself out but stunk all day.
I invited this friend round mine for drinks. We were in the kitchen and she wanted a light for her fag. I told her to use the gas hob. You've guessed it. Woosh, up she went again. I was beside myself in hysterics.

Renting an upstairs flat in a house conversion got a really strong smell of gas one day in our hallway. Was kind of ignoring it as it was the hallway and didn’t smell of gas in the kitchen and couldn’t think it would actually be a gas leak in the middle of the flat. Had a baby and a toddler at the time and went to start the dinner and walked through the gas smell again on way to kitchen and just thought I can’t ignore it anymore, it’s definitely a gas leak somewhere. Got the kids out the house into the car, knocked on downstairs flat on way but no answer and phoned British Gas.

They came out really quickly and realised immediately by testing the pressure of the pipes into the house that it was a major gas leak downstairs. Their builders had nailed a new board onto the bottom of the kitchen cupboards and nailed through the gas pipe in about 20 places! Downstairs neighbour was unconscious from carbon monoxide poisoning but survived. If I’d turned our gas hob on to start the dinner we’d all have been blown up!!

Choking is a terrifying experience, I even managed to choke eating soup. A wee twig of thyme ended up lodged in the back of my throat. I was wheezing and desperately trying to cough it up when I started to lose consciousness and when I hit the floor the twig dislodged.

Stupidest thing I’ve ever done was knock myself flat out by dropping a hammer on my own head.

These stories are scary but also hilarious 😂
I once was up late at night packing for an early flight the next day to go on my trip of a lifetime. I didn't get round to showering until 2am and had no sleep. I ended up slipping in the shower because I was rushing, went arse over tit and hit my head hard. Pretty sure I was unconscious for a few seconds. I was also home alone. I dread to think if I had died no one would have found me for days. I also nearly missed my flight due to concussion but luckily made it on the trip in the end. But I nearly missed out on my big holiday because of a 2 minute shower! Ordered a shower mat soon after!

Why shouldn't it work?
If it can keep vampires away, curing a cold is quite minor in comparison.
😁

Walking back from a festival late at night in the dark, I needed a wee. Knickers down, squatted down next to a tree- right on top of a thistle and multiple nettle plants!

I've done that. Straight off the night bus desperate for a wee. Only I didn't recall doing it until the next morning when my arse was on fire, I was that ratted.

I watched this too. Think about it sometime. I think it was MrBallen youtube channel that had the story.

The person who thinks isn’t allergic to Brazil nuts is scaring me now….

Glad you're ok, OP, and here to tell the tale.

How terrifying! You poor thing! It wouldn't occur to me to swallow a whole clove of garlic, but I do crush it and add it to a pasta dish or smashed avocado if I'm going down with something. No idea if it actually helps but we can tell ourselves it does at least!

@MarmiteCoriander - ouch 😣😱

‘Walking back from a festival late at night in the dark, I needed a wee. Knickers down, squatted down next to a tree- right on top of a thistle and multiple nettle plants!‘