I almost died in the stupidest way

[Chloefairydust]

So I woke up with the worst of sore throats, and I’m the kind of person who when I come down with a cold, it literally drags on for weeks and weeks and normally leads to a chest infection.

That is until I discovered the gross but effective cure of raw garlic. I read somewhere that if you swallow a small whole raw small garlic clove with a glass of water that it cures the common cold. It actually does work as well. I have been doing this for the past couple of years.

Until this morning, and somehow this garlic clove was just the right shape to get lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow or make a sound. I was home alone and sooo frightened. Somehow I managed to hit my own chest with my head facing down and spat out the offending garlic. So I almost died in the stupidest of ways….

I think now on I’m going to chop the garlic into tiny pieces to cure a cold.

But thought I would warn people who might be as stupid as me not to kill yourself with garlic 🧄

If you have had a near death experience in a similarly stupid way please share to make me feel less of an idiot?

I have set fire to myself at work demonstrating to a colleague the risk of a gas system at work and a localised spark - I was ok fortunately but only because I was wearing flame proof lab coat my sheer chance - my hair did not survive that well

Oh gosh OP, that must have been v scary.

I once got stuck in a v tight non-stretchy dress that I was trying to take off. I’d tried to lift it from the hem up and somehow ended up encased my own tight grip with material over my face so I couldn’t breathe. I don’t think I could recreate it if I tried. I was really panicking and thought that was it - but somehow I managed to create a tiny bit of space and eventually wriggled my way out of it.

Less funny was an overtaking manoeuvre I did at night when I realised that there was another car coming towards me who was in an (unmarked) blind dip. Terrifying for all concerned, I missed him by inches. That was awful 😞 I’m normally such a careful driver, it was hideous.

I accidentally inhaled an entire cherry tomtato speed eating a salad after a gym session. It went straight to the back of my throat and was totally stuck, I quickly realised that I couldn't breath and the panic set in. I was at my boyfriends place and he was out but luckily his flatmate was in. I ran into the living room and thankfully he realised straight away what was going on, did the Heimlich maneuver and saved my life. Broke up with the boyfriend over a decade ago but am still in touch with his ex flatmate and his lovely wife. Oh and I always cut cherry tomatoes in two now!

From this thread, I think we can safely conclude that washing powder, salad and buds are deadly dangerous.

When I was about 19 I tried to rinse out my red box hair dye in the shower. Which was stupid anyway because my whole body was stained with cheap bright red dye.
And I spilt and then stepped in the conditioner and slipped.
I took out the shower curtain and the shelf of showergels as I fell and knocked myself out on the edge of the sink.
Roomate heard the noise and ran in to find me naked, unconsious and covered in what he assumed was blood.

He called an ambulance, I was fine just a little concussed and very embarrased.

And garlic 🤣

I thought I would test out DD's new hoverboard, thought I would make sure it is safe enough for her. Stood on it without a helmet and went flying back, smacked my head so hard on the floor. Lost conscious with no one around. Eventually woke up and crawled to the sofa and laid there thinking I was going to die. A week later DD got on it and zoomed off without any problems 😂

I fell down a ravine going for a wee behind some trees in the Dominican Republic in the pitch dark. Went down about 9ft & really hurt my leg. If I'd have gone behind the one next to it the drop was nearer 90ft.

Now I want to recreate a Hitchcock film poster. The BUDS. 😂😂

I once knocked myself out falling off a bus on the way to a friend's wedding! I was wearing a calf-length very tight skirt, and couldn't get enough of a stride to go down the steps to get off the bus.

The bus door was open, I tried to exit gracefully but failed, obviously, and plunged on to the pavement. I only lost consciousness for a few seconds, and being young I refused all offers of medical help. Amazingly I didn't have a mark on me except a dusty mark on my skirt and a very sore wrist and elbow the next day. Still managed to dance all night in my high heels and tight skirt - those were the days 😂.

Sorry you nearly died.

Well done for surviving

These made me laugh - a range of greetings cards springs to mind!

I almost died once eating crunchy peanut butter from a spoon

How did that happen? I do that all the time. Didn’t know it was dangerous.

Roomate heard the noise and ran in to find me naked, unconsious and covered in what he assumed was blood.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh wow.
So much crying at all your near death experiences. Sorry but all so stupid or v unlucky!

The car jack fail was potentially very grim though.

Washing power ciggies is just too funny.

Oh the on- fire watering can is gold though. I bet the fire brigade have loads of those.

And the hair dye! Who knew the risk!

oh God, my stomach 😂

I nearly died playing the fluffy bunny game. You know the one where you try and fit as many marshmallows in your mouth as you can while saying fluffy bunny over and over again. I was obvious overly competitive as I shoved so many in there I couldn't breath (cant breath through my nose well due to a previously broken nose) they were obviously all gooey and sticky and I was choking and panicking and my friends Dad had to pull all the horrid sticky mess out of my throat while I peed myself from choking so much. I wasn't invited back.

I was washing up in France at parents new holiday house- a kettle was plugged in very close to the sink and aquaplaned into the washing up bowl
instinctively I pulled it out and got an electric shock that went all up my arm.
It was painful.

I was alone there ( with young DC) for a month
Had I died, goodness knows what poor DS would have done.
He’d have been locked in with no way of getting help.
I moved kettle well away from sink after that.

Omg 😂

I'm not going to mention the details in case a loved one of the person reads this, but I went to school with someone who's parent died in a stupid way. It was in the papers and almost treated as a bit of a joke. The person was obviously incredibly sensitive about it and, as a result, I often used to think I hope I don't die in an embarrassing way.

I know right 😂 and why would it have to be swallowed with water? Why not just eaten? Garlic munching would never get colds if all it took was a single clove a day

I'm so sorry but this had me crying 😂

I've done far stupider deadly things than that, OP!

When I sliced the bread just a tad too thick to slide down in the (switched on) toaster, I poked it down with a knife that had a metal handle. My ex, who worked in H&S, was so shocked when he saw what I was doing that he couldn't get the words out to tell me to stop, and just started muttering "Fuck, fuck, fuck" when he finally regained the power of speech.

And an old BF was horrified when I perched a mains radio on the side of the bath so I could listen to the cricket while having a nice long soak.

When I was 11, I climbed up 4 floors to get on to the roof of the flats where we lived, by pulling myself up on the little overflow pipes that were cemented in to the balconies. I was very pleased with myself and couldn't understand why my DM freaked out when I told her. I explained that it was perfectly safe, because three boys who lived in our street had done it safely, and they were all heavier than me.

My brother was even worse, I'm amazed our DM didn't have a nervous breakdown before we got to the age of majority.

I choked on a gobstopper as a child. I'd eaten them loads of times but, funnily enough, my dad's friend happened to notice me eating one that evening and told me he didn't think it was a good idea as I might choke. Obviously, I knew that would never happen because those things only happen to other people and I'd eaten them many times before... Predictably, that evening it rolled right into my throat. I went over to my dad and was grabbing at him and tapping him, gesturing towards my throat, but he kept saying "hang on a minute" because he was chatting to his friend. Luckily, the friend actually looked at me, realised I was choking and whacked me in the back repeatedly until it came out. My throat and back were sore for ages and i was so annoyed that he'd been proven right!

I do know of a person who died when he fell down the stairs while eating and choked on the food. It's incredibly sad and completely avoidable. I am probably a bit ott about choking risks with my kids as a result.

I can't stop laughing at this one. Just the dedication of drying the fags off, determined not to waste them😂

I went to light my gas fire with a match. The head flew off straight in to a vase of pampas grass . I've never seen something burn so fast! Luckily I managed to put it out with a couple of saucepans of water.
Another time I stood up, fainted and came to with my old huge crt tv on top of me. If it had hit my head I'm not sure I'd be here today😀

I gave myself quite a jolt sticking my clammy fingers into an awkward power socket under a table to feel where I needed to put the pins at a European airport earlier this year. I yelped loudly enough to frighten DH and the two Americans sitting next to us. I was so relieved it wasn’t a fatal or dangerous shock. It was such a stupid thing to do.