I almost died in the stupidest way

[Chloefairydust]

So I woke up with the worst of sore throats, and I’m the kind of person who when I come down with a cold, it literally drags on for weeks and weeks and normally leads to a chest infection.

That is until I discovered the gross but effective cure of raw garlic. I read somewhere that if you swallow a small whole raw small garlic clove with a glass of water that it cures the common cold. It actually does work as well. I have been doing this for the past couple of years.

Until this morning, and somehow this garlic clove was just the right shape to get lodged in my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow or make a sound. I was home alone and sooo frightened. Somehow I managed to hit my own chest with my head facing down and spat out the offending garlic. So I almost died in the stupidest of ways….

I think now on I’m going to chop the garlic into tiny pieces to cure a cold.

But thought I would warn people who might be as stupid as me not to kill yourself with garlic 🧄

If you have had a near death experience in a similarly stupid way please share to make me feel less of an idiot?

I had adult croup over Xmas. I was salivating so much, my throat was closing up, swallowing anything felt like my throat was on fire. I was exhausted, lack of sleep. So, I had the great idea of stuffing my mouth with a dry flannel, to soak up the saliva.
I nodded off. My DM woke me up as I was making odd gurgling noises. I was drowning in my own spit!
Thank god I didn't go upstairs to have a kip, otherwise they'd have found me dead with a flannel stuffed in my mouth!
The day after Boxing day, I was prescribed antibiotics, strong painkillers and steroids.

Bloody hell @Hellocatshome you win the thread 😂

Ok, this one wins 🥇

That's the most stupidly hilarious thing I've read - literally snorting here

A kid we just had round on a play date nearly died from playing an inane game with my children seeing how many mini rice cakes he could fit into his mouth at one time. That would have been an awkward one to explain to his mother….

I nearly died when sucking on an ice cube as a young teen. No one home, hot summer and circular ice cubes, it just slipped to the back of my throat and I thought I'm going to die and it'll melt and people will be like "she literally choked on nothing?!" It was really scary though and I felt so stupid.

Didn’t nearly die, but nearly gave poor DH a heart attack.

Opened a cupboard and the blade from the food processor fell out, so I went to catch it. It buried itself deep into my my hand. I pulled it out, the groped round the kitchen looking for something to stop the copious bleeding. Having covered the sink, worktop, tea towel and myself in blood, I decided to check the wound. Took one look at the huge gaping hole in my hand and fainted flat out. Poor DH came home to me sparko on the floor and a scene Freddy Kruger would be proud of. Poor guy still gets flashbacks

Tbf, they're fuckin' nails

I choked on a Pret biscuit while everyone around me just stared. My throat was sore for a couple of days, and all I could think about while it happened was that it was a stupid way to go, indeed.

All of my near death experiences seem to involve alcohol for some reason ...
Fell down a manhole cover
Fell down some narrow wooden stairs leaving a party .. I was holding the birthday cake and it survived but my bum and legs were black and blue the next day
Fell off a cliff
Luckily when you're drunk you don't feel the pain so much and don't realise how dangerous it was.

I nearly died up a mountain in Nepal when a water buffalo nearly fell on my head. I often wonder what my insurance company would have thought about that claim.

The watering can!

A friend came to visit me when ds was newborn and stayed for dinner. Suddenly went a terrible colour and I realised she was choking. She's a big girl, I could barely get my arms around her to do the Heimlich maneuver but I kept at it and on the fifth attempt out shot a whole intact baby potato which shot out with such force it went into the window, smashing it. That was nervewracking.

OP a sore throat is the most reliable symptom of the new strain of covid according to the ZOE health study today. Better get tested :-(

I did this the other day lol. I’ve had a cough and was at work (sleep nights) and woke coughing violently. Sat up and turned, throwing myself forward to get air and promptly headbutted the bedside table.

knocked myself clean out and have a black eye to show for it!

NotJustAnybody
I had adult croup over Xmas. I was salivating so much, my throat was closing up, swallowing anything felt like my throat was on fire. I was exhausted, lack of sleep. So, I had the great idea of stuffing my mouth with a dry flannel, to soak up the saliva.
I nodded off. My DM woke me up as I was making odd gurgling noises. I was drowning in my own spit!
Thank god I didn't go upstairs to have a kip, otherwise they'd have found me dead with a flannel stuffed in my mouth!
The day after Boxing day, I was prescribed antibiotics, strong painkillers and steroids.

😂😂😂😂😂

Best thread in ages

I choked on a piece of chocolate that I was sneakily eating in the work kitchen. The two hottest guys in the office did the Heimlich manoeuvre on me. Thank god it worked but was mortifying. Had to change jobs shortly after, so embarrassed.

Smoking Kills or very nearly

Doesn't matter if it's a placebo - if it works, it works.

I stood on the rim of the open loo seat to clean some mould off the ceiling.

Slipped and smashed my head on the basin. knocked me out cold.

Dh came home a few mins later, found me unconscious, bleeding from the head with my twisted up, broken ankle still in the loo.

One of the hospital consultants had to leave the room the next day as he couldn’t stop laughing. So that was nice!

I was exhausted I used food processor to grate carrots and the carrot was lodged. Instead of turning it off and taking the lid off I used a chef knife to dislodge it. I felt the air moving as the knife flew past my head, pulled my pony tail out, and landed upright and firmly lodged in the granite work top.

After that I decided that I am tired/unwell I will just make sandwiches and cold drinks.

Hope you feel better soon OP also, I was advised by a GP to gargle with soluble aspirin for sore throat. It tastes awful but it works.

Sounds like a dignified moment 🤣

Im loving these stories, I’m totally distracted from my near death experience now 😁

When I couldn't sleep from a sore throat I decided to rest a lozenge in the back of my mouth to go to sleep, so it would slowly melt and keep medicating my throat. I obviously choked on it.
I've done the same thing with an antacid.

Got a Trebor mint jammed in my throat at school… luckily my friend realised what happened and walloped my back til it flew out!! Was very frightening, 44 years ago and the thought still scares me!!

Thanks … I actually have some soluble aspirin in the house so I will try this.

Also I have done a covid test and it’s negative, so I’m thinking it’s just the common cold

House sitting for my brother, I was in the swimming pool pretending to be a synchronised swimmer. I attempted a rather elegant underwater forward roll and smacked my face on the bottom of the pool. Had black eyes for weeks.

It’s so easy to choke. I’ve lost two people in my life this way.

My mum, she choked to death on her lunch whilst in hospital. She was eating alone in the patient dining room attached to the word and when someone went to see why she was taking so long she was choking and nothing could be done for her. She died after a few days in a coma.

And my school friend, he choked to death sitting up in his bed after open heart surgery. He was 15 and couldn’t help himself to cough because of the surgery he’d had days earlier.

The same week my mum died her GP’s wife choked to death whilst making turkey sandwiches with the Christmas leftovers.

it’s so say. Too easy really.